HopeandFaith1

I am getting to the point that I'm losing count, so I had to look it up. Thank God for sobriety calculators!

I have a lot on my mind tonight that I just need to get off my chest really. So if you're having trouble sleeping feel free to read this until you drift off to sleep. Haha.

I credit my sobriety to several things, primarily prayer, SR, and counseling. I drank heavily for about 20 years. Binge drinking several nights a week. I always prayed for years that I could quit, but nothing really changed. I'd halfheartedly go to meetings but could usually never string together more than a few days.

Anyway in April of this year, around the time my mother in law passed away, I started getting really scared about my drinking. I was doing some bad things which I've already mentioned in previous posts so I won't drudge it up again. But I was spiraling towards jail or death.

I knew I had to quit and started praying in earnest, even in the bathtub after a bender. At some point in April something in me began to change and the urge to drink slowly lifted. I had a few slips between April and June, but I quit drinking on the day my brother in law died - June 14, 2016.

It hasn't been all pleasant and easy but I have to say life is so much better without alcohol. I've gone to a few AA meetings and I go to an addiction counselor. I also read SR pretty religiously.

Tonight I had to go to a wedding - my second in a week. I sailed through the first wedding effortlessly. It was BYOB and very few guests were big drinkers. So I hardly thought about alcohol.

Tonight's wedding was different because almost everyone was drinking heavily. Several were noticeably drunk. About an hour into the reception I started feeling weird because there was a big bar and I was literally surrounded by booze! And people handing out shots. A recovering addicts nightmare. I didn't feel like drinking but I felt closed in. Surrounded by my enemy. So I told my husband, who was also drinking that I needed to step outside. Really, I desperately wanted to leave. Anyway my husband finally got the hint and we left and I'm fine. Just really thinking about where I'm at in my sobriety.

Anyway I have one more wedding to go next Saturday and it will be the most stressful. Wish me luck. Sorry this is so long.

lexilynn

Congratulations on 116 days HopeandFaith!, And good luck! Perhaps you can add the site to your cell phone and log in here if need be?

HopeandFaith1

Thank you lexilynn! Yep I use my phone to login and post to SR

lexilynn

You are welcome, Have a great night ! : )

CajunPrincess

I was the same way... praying that I could just quit, but it would end up with me only having a day or two and then back at it again.
Congrats on 116 days by the way. That is awesome. It's kinda neat when we have to go check what day we are on. (In my opinion)

Congrats on making it through the weddings! I LOVE going to weddings but haven't been to one since I've become sober. I hope you are able to really enjoy the next wedding and that it ends up being way less stressful than you thought!

HopeandFaith1

Thank you Cajun Princess. I think some weddings are great, others can be more problematic. Last week was the first wedding I've been to sober. On one hand I think I need to get out and learn to deal with real world situations. On the other I'd much rather hibernate. Not sure how much sober time you have but maybe you can relate to that. I'm thinking of taking in a meeting tomorrow to hear what others think would be a healthy balance. Being closed in an area surrounded by alcohol didn't feel healthy at all. Anyway I appreciate your response!

PurpleKnight

Day 116 is fantastic!!

HopeandFaith1

Thank you!

january161992

116 days

HopeandFaith1

Thank you very much