ulfr

av decided enough is enough with hating myself
i am going back to AA but i can only go once a week to the one that is nearby at lest for the moment
I want to get a handle on things
Av always hated myself and think that everyone hate me
because abuse in the past but that it the past is in the past
i got to grow they heck up am going to be 40 in DEC
i act so much like a child i need to start being an adult
i have to grow up let am scared of responsibility for my self and my life
I dont like talking in AA i sometimes get confused and lost while am talking ...i get nervous but you dont have to talk you dont have to share
just sit and listen
Av never gone throught the steps i never stayed long enough to go through them just stuck it in for a week or two i nee to stick to it
I WANT TO BE SANE

january161992

im the same way



glad youre going back to meetings

Berrybean

Like you say, you don't need to share in the meeting. Chatting to people a bit in break and while helping with setting and clearing is often enough at the start.

If yiu can only get to one meeting a week, you might find it helpful to use some of the speaker recordings on other days of the week. Oh, and call other people from the fellowship to check in, ask any questions, say what's on your mind (those random things that bug us often pale into insigficance when we tell someone about it).

I use this website for speaker recordings (free and very easy to find topic or step you want)... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!

RDBplus3

Hello JesusFreak, my faith is in the message of God thru the Bible. With that said ...

1. Admitted we were Powerless - your post conveys acknowledgment of this.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to Sanity.
- I recognized that the power of God that worked thru the program of AA had restored Sanity & Sobriety & a Spiritual way of life to many of the members in AA. I believed them when they said they had been in the hopeless state I was in, and I could see that thru the Program of AA, their lives had been transformed. I knew from reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous, and learning some of the beginning history of AA, that the Program had been birthed out of the Oxford Groups, which was based on the Bible, and modeled after 1st Century Christianity.

3. Made a Decision to turn my Will and my Life over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
- At this point, what I thought I knew and believed about God had NOT brought me Sanity or Sobriety. I knew the God of the Bible was the Power that worked thru the AA Program (as I stated above). So at that point I made a Decision to turn my Will and my Life over to let the Power of God as He worked thru the Program work in my Life, As I Did NOT Understand Him ... I would let God do a New Work in me, as I saw He had done in the lives of so many others that were working the 12 Steps in their lives.

4. thru 12. Transformation that I could NOT have done in myself, or that I could NOT have foreseen from my previous 'beliefs'.

WORK THE STEPS - FOR REAL - Not just a half-hearted negligible non-committed dabbling. This is what is meant when the Program states the Steps separate the Mature from the Immature. The Maturity is brought about thru the process of Working the Steps.

RDBplus3 - Happy, Joyous and FREE - and I KNOW U can B 2

Dee74

I think going back to AA is a good idea JF

Don't be too down on yourself tho - a lot of us, including me, waited until 40 or older to change things.

D