Panini907

Hello all.

I'm 12 days sober today, and still going strong. Although I had to reach out to my EAP in order to get here. Now I can't perform certain duties of my job until I go through this rehab process. I feel as though I've let a lot of my coworkers down (there's about 20 of them) because they now I have to pick up my slack with overtime, and schedule changes.

I have told the people that need to know about my problem. All are very supportive (my two roommates, and my parents). I'm 28, and My problem was not as bad as many of yours, but it was a problem regardless that could have led me to much darker places. I was a Nightly drinker for many months, binders for days at a time, and some medical issues like High blood pressure. It was as far down towards rock bottom as I wanted to go, before I finally reached out for help. I've always had an addictive personality, but my alcohol addiction didn't flare up until a little more than a year and a half ago.

I guess I just want to feel like this was the right decision I made. I hate letting people down. This could affect my job duties for up to 3 months.

When I left my detox facility, the doctor I guess recommended an Intensive Out Patient program (which I start tomorrow), and 90 meetings in 90 days of AA. I have been going to meetings, but have yet to reach out for a sponsor. I'm hoping my work will just require the completion of the IOP, won't require the 90 days just because that is a very long time.

How long do intensive outpatient programs typically last? Have any of you had a short IOP program?

Thank you for reading, and please feel free to share any experiences with this type of situation, or anything at all.

tomsteve

the great thing about getting sober is the ability to do our best to make amends for past action- whether it is part of the progam of aa or not.
that can be made in he future by being a responsible, dependable employee.
but at this time, I think your sobriety and recovery MUST come first.
IOP length is one thing, but recovery MUST be daily afterwards- you will gain the tools for living in IOP that have to be used afterwards. with practice, they will become a working part of your life.
IOP isn'ts omething where afterwards a person is cured and life on lifes terms wont be a problem

january161992

the cool thing is

1 since you feel guilty you have some humility

2 you now have the choice to later make amends (correcting our wrongs) to those coworkers and anyone else

3 you now have the choice to later make living amends (help those around you) to people you cant find or who are dead

MissPerfumado

Well done, Panini!

You are doing what you need to do to get better. Focus on that. There will be a time for doing what you need to do for others but the best thing you can do now is to focus on your own recovery. I did not do IOP but the first months of recovery I took as much time as I needed to attend to my health, see my therapist etc. I remember sitting in my therapist's office about a month into sobriety and saying that I wasn't feeling guilty about not being at the office because I knew that it was an investment into being a better employee. A few months down the road and I see that bearing out.

Since admitting my alcoholism, I have a lot of compassion for people who need to take time off from work due to mental health issues. Alcoholism is in part a mental health issue. This can be a tough world to live in, sometimes.

Take your time. Come back stronger.

Algorithm

If you fix the problem for good now, it will be the right decision. Three months is not a very long time in the scheme of things at your age.

The catch is, you don't want to have to do this more than once, especially since your EAP and HR is involved. They may have been helpful, but in their mind, they will want it fixed for good.

teatreeoil007

There comes a time when you have to choose taking care of yourself over all else. That can be a novel idea to some people...they might feel like they are being selfish, not pulling their weight, disappointing others, feeling 'unproductive'. etc. You feel like you'll let your co-workers down...But, dang-it-you've got a pressing matter on your hands right now and it's great you are WILLING to do something about it....TRY to set aside those various thoughts about others and just focus on where you really NEED to be. Your health is PRICELESS.

thomas11

There is much to unpack in your OP. Ultimately you are letting yourself down more than anyone at work, although I commend your compassion.

Your coworkers will ultimately appreciate you being an adult and getting yourself "healed". Also, I see you mentioned high BP. It is inevitable that our health will fail with continued alcohol abuse. Keep your chin up.

MIRecovery

If you are an alcoholic you will be an alcoholic until you die. Alcoholism is a chronic disease you don't get over it. The best case scenario is it can be treated and it will need to be treated forever. So 90 days or 90 years really makes no difference.

Seven years down and 1000+ AA meetings and I'm not fixed but I am sober and have a life better than I believed possible

Panini907

I realize I won't ever be healed. Although, that is probably easier said than actually to come to terms with. It's just very disappointing to think I won't be able to do my job for possibly three months. Just random odd jobs while people assume what's wrong with me.

I guess during this time I will need to take a serious personal inventory. I'll try to be optimistic, and continue taking it one day at a time. I'll need to find a way to bring me back to now, instead of thinking about the future. Hopefully I learn more about the process in the next week from my work.

Thanks for all the responses.