There is always an excuse
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Hiya Mera,
I've been off the SR radar for a few months. Now, sit up and take notice, for the reason was, as usual: 2 month relapse followed by 3 weeks inpatient rehab. And yes, it started, as it always has for me, with just that one drink.....long gap...then another....everyone here knows how that pans out.
I agree and resonate with pretty much everyone's thoughts to you here. The one I agree with the most overall, and this is one I've taken AGES to 'get' for myself: Dee's image of the axle, instead of all the spokes of the wheel. I've leave you with that. I can see (as a fellow sufferer of overwhelm and introspection) and appreciate how all the life details seem to be the problem. Well, it only appears they are; but they're really not.
As I see it, there's a lot of pretzel-twisting going on for you in your life - including trying to 'manage' how the significant power-brokers around you behave and what THEY want. I've spent most of my life pretzel-twisting for and about others. They end up with all the power, and I became a snivelling drunken wreck. You CAN still change that. I and most others here know you can.
Likewise, Anna said: (something like) 'start slowly, and just make progress'. And that means: keep it simple. Real Simple! I over-complicate everything if I'm not aware; I think you do too. And then wonder why we / I pick up a drink eventually. (Face palm :-)) It's not the rocket science I once thought it was, ya know? Self-care, m'dear, self-care....
xxx Vic
I've been off the SR radar for a few months. Now, sit up and take notice, for the reason was, as usual: 2 month relapse followed by 3 weeks inpatient rehab. And yes, it started, as it always has for me, with just that one drink.....long gap...then another....everyone here knows how that pans out.
I agree and resonate with pretty much everyone's thoughts to you here. The one I agree with the most overall, and this is one I've taken AGES to 'get' for myself: Dee's image of the axle, instead of all the spokes of the wheel. I've leave you with that. I can see (as a fellow sufferer of overwhelm and introspection) and appreciate how all the life details seem to be the problem. Well, it only appears they are; but they're really not.
As I see it, there's a lot of pretzel-twisting going on for you in your life - including trying to 'manage' how the significant power-brokers around you behave and what THEY want. I've spent most of my life pretzel-twisting for and about others. They end up with all the power, and I became a snivelling drunken wreck. You CAN still change that. I and most others here know you can.
Likewise, Anna said: (something like) 'start slowly, and just make progress'. And that means: keep it simple. Real Simple! I over-complicate everything if I'm not aware; I think you do too. And then wonder why we / I pick up a drink eventually. (Face palm :-)) It's not the rocket science I once thought it was, ya know? Self-care, m'dear, self-care....
xxx Vic
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Mera -
I'm glad to hear you are going to take the monthly formal support from your ex. He can afford it, and it will alleviate some of the financial pressure on you. Great progress!
As far as the meetings/sponsor thing goes - Do reach out to your current sponsor and really ASK for her to make time for you. If she doesn't or can't, I'd approach the older lady. You don't need to feel bad for "firing" your current sponsor. This is about YOU.
It sounds like you have turned a corner again. Keep going. Keep the lines of communication wide open with those around you. It sounds like there are people in your life who really care - let them help you by being open and asking for what you need and want. Don't get caught up in thinking you are being "selfish" or putting people out. Your sobriety will benefit EVERYONE ultimately. Especially your kids.
I'm glad to hear you are going to take the monthly formal support from your ex. He can afford it, and it will alleviate some of the financial pressure on you. Great progress!
As far as the meetings/sponsor thing goes - Do reach out to your current sponsor and really ASK for her to make time for you. If she doesn't or can't, I'd approach the older lady. You don't need to feel bad for "firing" your current sponsor. This is about YOU.
It sounds like you have turned a corner again. Keep going. Keep the lines of communication wide open with those around you. It sounds like there are people in your life who really care - let them help you by being open and asking for what you need and want. Don't get caught up in thinking you are being "selfish" or putting people out. Your sobriety will benefit EVERYONE ultimately. Especially your kids.
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