thomas11

I'm at an emotional low point. Things are pretty bad, or at least they seem to be. I have minimal to no contact with my entire family now, not just my weirdo mother. My choice, but it sucks.

Its all the typical stuff: finances, my future, my past, my fears. I really do want to escape in a drunken haze for about 8 hrs. Wake up tomorrow and it'll be a new day. I doubt I'll do it. But its there gnawing at me.

Mattq2

Don't do it Thomas. You know it makes everything worse every single time. Just take it easy and I bet you feel better tomorrow.

Anna

Thomas, the decisions are your choice and you've made that choice because you know it's right for you. I'm sure it's very hard, but it will get better.

Calicofish

You know that drinking won't change any of your problems and could likely add to your problems.

When I start to get feeling antsy (and believe me, it's been quite high this week as I'm off to visit my family for Thanksgiving) - I eat. I know it's trading one addiction for another, but at least eating doesn't make me do stupid things. So, this week I've been having a huge love affair with cake, cookies and chocolate.

So my advice to you Jeff - go and get some ice cream and cake. Binge watch some tv. Watch stupid videos on youtube...anything but drink.

teatreeoil007

Sorry you are having a bad week, thomas. It's hard to feel cut off from your family. I sort of get that. I'm not cut off per se, but there is a 'distancing' that's been going on for quite some time. And now that I don't drink and they still very much do, I just don't want to be around them. Last year there was a drunken brawl between a couple of my siblings and as alcohol was involved I had HOPED they might back off from drinking and realize how destructive it is. No such luck. They cannot seem to do ANYTHING or go to any function without making plans around alcohol consumption. It saddens me...it really does. And, they make fun of me because I don't drink. I do have one sibling who doesn't have a drinking problem, but she is a serious co-dependent.

Hang in there and stick to the high road. It's not easier, but it's better in the long run.

carlingford

Hi Thomas, I hear you.....I was that soldier before and it doesn't work, it only aggravates the situation.. try do something to distract the demon, I had it earlier tonight but it went away after watching TV and having dinner. Its the addiction voice trying to trick you, stay strong please don't let the beast win, you can do it.

Dee74

Read back through some old threads Jeff. Run your hand over your knee.
That's where drinking will take you.

Drinking is full of empty promise.

It won't help you with your family, or your finances, or your stress, or your fear.

The one way through, and the one way you can be sure of growth, is to deal with each of those things calmly and methodically.

You've been sober a while now and thats great.

This is where you step up a gear - it's where the rubber meets the road and you start merging into the recovery lane.

It's tough and the rewards may not be immediately apparent, but you will look back and see this as an important point in your evolution.

You're a capable guy. You can deal with problems.

You can do this.

There are all manner of healthy things you can do to get relief and respite:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

Grab the prize.
D

MIRecovery

What I thought would be a couple of glasses of wine at a wedding turned into a 4 year drunk that almost killed me. 8 hours is pure AV

Feellost1965

Don't give in I'm new to this but find writing my thoughts down on here helps take my mind off wanting a drink X good luck X

Fly N Buy

So this will seem trite, but here it is; This too shall pass - good or bad. Change is the only constant.........

This is why people relapse - they start the great debate.

Simply, I don't want to die prematurely. When I drink I drastically increase that probability. I become a destroyer and not a builder. I isolate and withdraw and get cut off from the sunlight. I drown my spirit.............the flame which flickers smolders and may extinguish. I am back in the dark.

Some say play the tape. That does not work for me - I am a good editor and can delete the horrific parts. But, I have seen the previews of the sequel from many others. No thanks.

I don't drink

entropy1964

Take it from me Jeff, all those things that are driving you toward drink will be there when you sober up. And you can add hangover, shame, and possibly the obsession to continue drinking to the list. Have you ever considered attending some kind of group support? Especially since the family is off the table right now?

ScottFromWI

Just re-read the title of your post. You want to "drink it away". It doesn't work that way and you know it Jeff. Every single problem will be there just where it was before you started drinking, plus all the new ones you create while you are drunk. You might just end up hungover of course, but think of all the schemes you planned during your binges while you've been here. Jumping on an airplane with your credit card and leaving your wife behind was one. Falling down the stairs and breaking both your legs actuallly came true...remember?

Thing is - it won't just be 8 hours. Once you have the first all bets are off - anything can happen. You know better...just deal with the other problems one at a time. Take a walk or watch a movie or something to blow of steam...but DO NOT DRINK.

EndGameNYC

Dude, you're a non-drinker. You don't do that anymore. I'll say what I've said before. Using SR as your sole source of support may only take you so far. When you need help, you get help. You may see it as a sign of weakness, but it's anything but that. And certainly better than picking up a drink.

emme99

Thomas, I've followed your posts for a while, and it has been really good seeing you do so well. I really hope you don't drink, it won't help anything. Sending positive thoughts your way.

Delizadee

Jeff,
I am miles away from all my family. I have no friends here. I am a single mom. I have no income, not even child support. I don't have much food in my cupboards. I don't know if I'll have a roof over my head one month to the next.
I go to day program with people much worse off than me. Many of them are homeless. Many of them come from lives of generational abuse, drugs and alcohol abuse and lives on the streets, prostitution. Many of them have been to jail, many of them are awaiting sentencing.

If I can stay sober, if all my buddies at my program can stay sober, so can you. It's thanksgiving weekend here in Canada this weekend. Practice some gratitude. I know it's hard and life sucks sometimes. Be grateful for what you have and give some of it away, I promise you it'll make you feel better. Get some face to face help. It makes a huge difference.
Hang in there. Don't drink.

Dharma33

When you need help, you get help. You may see it as a sign of weakness, but it's anything but that.

EndGame has a great point here.

I came dangerously close to picking up at a year.....but I didn't want to.

This is just my experience.... for what it's worth.
All along that year I said, "If I pick up again, then I'll go to AA". Because, to me it was the last resort. Why? Pride, ego- sign of weakness if I reach out? Yes- all of the above. Somehow a lightbulb went off, and I went to a meeting instead of picking up.

A life of sobriety is worth so much more than chasing that buzz. There aren't any guarantees any of us will come back from another go.

I wish you all the best, Jeff and hope you choose something other than drinking today.

Jade1224

I'm sorry you're having a bad day but if you drink you'll feel worse, I promise.

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me for that is what I used to do. Just let me escape this mess for a little while. Problems of life don't get fixed in this condition and matters only worsen, driving us eventually into a yet deeper hole.

The pit becomes very deep for the drunk.
Please -- now is the time to crawl out.

We make a firm decision to not drink again.

M-Bob

Venecia

Jeff, the only thing drinking will reliably accomplish is make everything worse.

We weather storms. That's what we do -- without alcohol. You can get through this. Stay close.

doggonecarl

^This.

I had a bad day or two. Yet immensely grateful that I'm not in the direct path of the hurricane. Grateful and sober.