Notices

day one... again..

Old 10-06-2016, 12:42 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
K66
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
 
K66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
day one... again..

Why do I have no control... I'm going to ruin everything ... I've finally net my soul mate at the very worst time in my life... why is fate so cruel... why am I checking my account balance to see if I have enough money for a cab to the liquor store. .. why haven't I showered today... all I want is to be a happy healthy version of myself for him...and me... someone help me ....
K66 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 12:46 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Have you considered medical detox? The good news is you never have to feel like this again. Maybe put the soul mate on the back burner?
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 12:52 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
K66
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
 
K66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
You can't put a soulmate on a back burner...he's my everything... my main reason to change.... other than for myself that is
K66 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:06 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 128
Sorry things are difficult for you at the moment. You found a soulmate? That is an enviable position to be in. Don't call that cab, though! :-) Maybe you haven't showered because you're trying to sober up and it is hard. Details like showering might seem petty to your recoiling central nervous system for a bit. Now that you mention it though, taking a long hot shower is a great distraction from thinking about taking a cab to the liqour store. So is posting here.
DolAndel is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:08 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
teatreeoil007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
K66: We/you don't have any control really of when we meet our soul mate. In many cases it happens when we least expect it to and surprises us.

BUT: I believe we do have some control over our choices that impact our health.....whether that be to stop over eating, stop cheating, stop overspending or stop drinking. I also believe there are underlying issues that need to addressed. If your soul mate is someone who sort of spurs you on to best the person you can be, you can use that perhaps as one of your motives to stop drinking. Ultimately, though, you've got to do this for yourSELF....because you love yourself enough to make needed change to be truly happy.

You can do this. I know you must want to feel better, be healthier and enjoy life. Alcohol is deceptive. It gives a person a temporary feel good, but in no way SUSTAINS you to keep feeling good.
teatreeoil007 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:08 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
AA Member
 
january161992's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
hello k66
january161992 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:21 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Garden Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 346
K66, I was right where you were yesterday...
Let me ask, have you already made the decision to go to the store or are you back peddling and coming here?
I am asking because I am on day 2 and yesterday I was a big ass ball of anxiety and no hope I wanted to stay home and drink to make it go away a little longer, knowing I would only feel worse today and the cycle goes on. I didn't drink and today I am working on a recovery plan. This **** is hard. Really hard and it doesn't go away over night. Take 5 deep belly breaths and lets do this together. Please look at what you read and focus on the positives in your live and know that you are stronger than the urge. XxxX
Garden Girl is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:24 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
asixstringnut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by K66 View Post
You can't put a soulmate on a back burner...he's my everything... my main reason to change
I am sorry you are going through this. I tried to change for someone else and it never worked or stuck for me.

Welcome to the site. Wishing you the best.

asixstringnut
asixstringnut is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 01:32 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Garden Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 346
Maybe you haven't showered because you're trying to sober up and it is hard. Details like showering might seem petty to your recoiling central nervous system for a bit. Now that you mention it though, taking a long hot shower is a great distraction from thinking about taking a cab to the liqour store. So is posting here.[/QUOTE]

I kinda fancy myself on being a bath goddess . That means I turn regular bath time into a ceremony and ritual for the Goddess Garden Girl. Light some incense and candles, put on some Japanese tea ceremony/ or yogi/ or for me some times soft chick rock like Mazzi Star music, run some hot water with bath salts and bubble bath if that makes you smile. I like to make a paste with whatever beauty clay powder I have around and water, sometimes I mix in an oil or so and I massage it from head to toe taking my time to check in with every part of my body from shoulders to heels... This is very cleansing and detoxifying for the body seeing that clay is drawing and the skin is your largest organ.. plus us drinkers tend to be rather isolating I feel and the art of touch and massage is so healing, even if we are the ones administering it.. LOL!If I had time to do this 3x a day I would never think of drinking again!
Garden Girl is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 02:50 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
From personal experience - if someone/something else is a big part of why you feel like changing things about yourself or what you do, it's a slippery slope. Even if you go 50-50, 50% because you need it and 50% because you think someone else wishes/requires/hopes you are able to make the change, that's a 50% commitment to yourself, 50% to that something/someone else.
I learned this my own way. I managed 9 months dry so I could graduate from uni. Now, I'm not insensitive enough to make a 1:1 ratio comparison between being with your soulmate and getting a bachelor's, but as far as external reasons for sobriety go, they are not that dissimilar. Thing is, when I got the notification that I had successfully graduated, I drank the same night. Two weeks later I drank again and blacked out, after that, things continued as if there'd been no 9 months. This happened because the reason for staying away from alcohol was external. Your soulmate might have to be away from you for an extended period of time, perhaps. Who holds the reins of your sobriety when 50% of your motivation is absent (for whatever reason, really)?

You can quit the booze, if it's 100% your own choice. In my opinion, that is the only way to make a lasting change - other people/jobs/events/reasons come and go. You must still want to be sober even if you're out of a job, out of money and there's no one there to hold your hand when things get tough for a bit.

My 2 cents. I wish you the best in making the good choice to stay sober.
kk1k5x is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 03:10 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by K66 View Post
You can't put a soulmate on a back burner...he's my everything... my main reason to change.... other than for myself that is
I understand. Just take care of you and your recovery.
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 03:26 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Outonthetiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,595
Believe me, your soul mate will prefer that you're sober and that you take showers.
Outonthetiles is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 03:34 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jade1224's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
Day 1 can be so disheartening if you let it. I think it's exciting. You have a soul mate - not everyone does. I think you can be the best you if you decide to be sober. For yourself AND for him
Jade1224 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:12 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
K66
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
 
K66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
I've been with my neighbour all day taking. .. he's 29 years sober... heist made me some supper.... very supportive I'm lucky to have him
K66 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:23 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
teatreeoil007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Neighbors like that are priceless. Good to get some good grub in ya. That is so important in so many ways.
teatreeoil007 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:29 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
K66
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
 
K66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
I'm very lucky....
K66 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:31 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
I screwed up AGAIN TODAY K66. You are not alone. Sending good, calm and peaceful wishes. Lolly x
SummerBee is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:50 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
K66
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
 
K66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
I'm so tired of feeling like crap. . Of feeling like a disappointment to myself and my soulmate... thank god for my neighbour today... I didn't go to the store... he made me dinner to get some food into me... I'm so thankful. . Day one again.. I feel like I'm burning up... my skin hurts...I'm shaking ... but I'm happy I'm alive ... that's all you can ask for
K66 is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 04:52 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
 
Algorithm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 847
Originally Posted by K66 View Post
I've finally net my soul mate at the very worst time in my life... all I want is to be a happy healthy version of myself for him...and me...
Perhaps you met him at the perfect time, K66?

That spark of motivation can be fanned into a roaring flame.
Algorithm is offline  
Old 10-06-2016, 05:03 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
Agree with Algorithm. Maybe this is your time and its meant to be, I hope so. Sending good thoughts to you x
SummerBee is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:20 PM.