day one... again..
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
day one... again..
Why do I have no control... I'm going to ruin everything ... I've finally net my soul mate at the very worst time in my life... why is fate so cruel... why am I checking my account balance to see if I have enough money for a cab to the liquor store. .. why haven't I showered today... all I want is to be a happy healthy version of myself for him...and me... someone help me ....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 128
Sorry things are difficult for you at the moment. You found a soulmate? That is an enviable position to be in. Don't call that cab, though! :-) Maybe you haven't showered because you're trying to sober up and it is hard. Details like showering might seem petty to your recoiling central nervous system for a bit. Now that you mention it though, taking a long hot shower is a great distraction from thinking about taking a cab to the liqour store. So is posting here.
K66: We/you don't have any control really of when we meet our soul mate. In many cases it happens when we least expect it to and surprises us.
BUT: I believe we do have some control over our choices that impact our health.....whether that be to stop over eating, stop cheating, stop overspending or stop drinking. I also believe there are underlying issues that need to addressed. If your soul mate is someone who sort of spurs you on to best the person you can be, you can use that perhaps as one of your motives to stop drinking. Ultimately, though, you've got to do this for yourSELF....because you love yourself enough to make needed change to be truly happy.
You can do this. I know you must want to feel better, be healthier and enjoy life. Alcohol is deceptive. It gives a person a temporary feel good, but in no way SUSTAINS you to keep feeling good.
BUT: I believe we do have some control over our choices that impact our health.....whether that be to stop over eating, stop cheating, stop overspending or stop drinking. I also believe there are underlying issues that need to addressed. If your soul mate is someone who sort of spurs you on to best the person you can be, you can use that perhaps as one of your motives to stop drinking. Ultimately, though, you've got to do this for yourSELF....because you love yourself enough to make needed change to be truly happy.
You can do this. I know you must want to feel better, be healthier and enjoy life. Alcohol is deceptive. It gives a person a temporary feel good, but in no way SUSTAINS you to keep feeling good.
K66, I was right where you were yesterday...
Let me ask, have you already made the decision to go to the store or are you back peddling and coming here?
I am asking because I am on day 2 and yesterday I was a big ass ball of anxiety and no hope I wanted to stay home and drink to make it go away a little longer, knowing I would only feel worse today and the cycle goes on. I didn't drink and today I am working on a recovery plan. This **** is hard. Really hard and it doesn't go away over night. Take 5 deep belly breaths and lets do this together. Please look at what you read and focus on the positives in your live and know that you are stronger than the urge. XxxX
Let me ask, have you already made the decision to go to the store or are you back peddling and coming here?
I am asking because I am on day 2 and yesterday I was a big ass ball of anxiety and no hope I wanted to stay home and drink to make it go away a little longer, knowing I would only feel worse today and the cycle goes on. I didn't drink and today I am working on a recovery plan. This **** is hard. Really hard and it doesn't go away over night. Take 5 deep belly breaths and lets do this together. Please look at what you read and focus on the positives in your live and know that you are stronger than the urge. XxxX
Maybe you haven't showered because you're trying to sober up and it is hard. Details like showering might seem petty to your recoiling central nervous system for a bit. Now that you mention it though, taking a long hot shower is a great distraction from thinking about taking a cab to the liqour store. So is posting here.[/QUOTE]
I kinda fancy myself on being a bath goddess . That means I turn regular bath time into a ceremony and ritual for the Goddess Garden Girl. Light some incense and candles, put on some Japanese tea ceremony/ or yogi/ or for me some times soft chick rock like Mazzi Star music, run some hot water with bath salts and bubble bath if that makes you smile. I like to make a paste with whatever beauty clay powder I have around and water, sometimes I mix in an oil or so and I massage it from head to toe taking my time to check in with every part of my body from shoulders to heels... This is very cleansing and detoxifying for the body seeing that clay is drawing and the skin is your largest organ.. plus us drinkers tend to be rather isolating I feel and the art of touch and massage is so healing, even if we are the ones administering it.. LOL!If I had time to do this 3x a day I would never think of drinking again!
I kinda fancy myself on being a bath goddess . That means I turn regular bath time into a ceremony and ritual for the Goddess Garden Girl. Light some incense and candles, put on some Japanese tea ceremony/ or yogi/ or for me some times soft chick rock like Mazzi Star music, run some hot water with bath salts and bubble bath if that makes you smile. I like to make a paste with whatever beauty clay powder I have around and water, sometimes I mix in an oil or so and I massage it from head to toe taking my time to check in with every part of my body from shoulders to heels... This is very cleansing and detoxifying for the body seeing that clay is drawing and the skin is your largest organ.. plus us drinkers tend to be rather isolating I feel and the art of touch and massage is so healing, even if we are the ones administering it.. LOL!If I had time to do this 3x a day I would never think of drinking again!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
From personal experience - if someone/something else is a big part of why you feel like changing things about yourself or what you do, it's a slippery slope. Even if you go 50-50, 50% because you need it and 50% because you think someone else wishes/requires/hopes you are able to make the change, that's a 50% commitment to yourself, 50% to that something/someone else.
I learned this my own way. I managed 9 months dry so I could graduate from uni. Now, I'm not insensitive enough to make a 1:1 ratio comparison between being with your soulmate and getting a bachelor's, but as far as external reasons for sobriety go, they are not that dissimilar. Thing is, when I got the notification that I had successfully graduated, I drank the same night. Two weeks later I drank again and blacked out, after that, things continued as if there'd been no 9 months. This happened because the reason for staying away from alcohol was external. Your soulmate might have to be away from you for an extended period of time, perhaps. Who holds the reins of your sobriety when 50% of your motivation is absent (for whatever reason, really)?
You can quit the booze, if it's 100% your own choice. In my opinion, that is the only way to make a lasting change - other people/jobs/events/reasons come and go. You must still want to be sober even if you're out of a job, out of money and there's no one there to hold your hand when things get tough for a bit.
My 2 cents. I wish you the best in making the good choice to stay sober.
I learned this my own way. I managed 9 months dry so I could graduate from uni. Now, I'm not insensitive enough to make a 1:1 ratio comparison between being with your soulmate and getting a bachelor's, but as far as external reasons for sobriety go, they are not that dissimilar. Thing is, when I got the notification that I had successfully graduated, I drank the same night. Two weeks later I drank again and blacked out, after that, things continued as if there'd been no 9 months. This happened because the reason for staying away from alcohol was external. Your soulmate might have to be away from you for an extended period of time, perhaps. Who holds the reins of your sobriety when 50% of your motivation is absent (for whatever reason, really)?
You can quit the booze, if it's 100% your own choice. In my opinion, that is the only way to make a lasting change - other people/jobs/events/reasons come and go. You must still want to be sober even if you're out of a job, out of money and there's no one there to hold your hand when things get tough for a bit.
My 2 cents. I wish you the best in making the good choice to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Day 1 can be so disheartening if you let it. I think it's exciting. You have a soul mate - not everyone does. I think you can be the best you if you decide to be sober. For yourself AND for him
Sober Date March 19, 2018 *One Day At A Time*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 123
I'm so tired of feeling like crap. . Of feeling like a disappointment to myself and my soulmate... thank god for my neighbour today... I didn't go to the store... he made me dinner to get some food into me... I'm so thankful. . Day one again.. I feel like I'm burning up... my skin hurts...I'm shaking ... but I'm happy I'm alive ... that's all you can ask for
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