Day 1 again, when will this end?
 

Hi guys, I'm so ashamed-I drank last night. I'm feeling awful today. I had got up to 15 days. And then blew it. I hate myself at the moment. The fear is incredible in me today. Why did I pick up again? I knew what was going to happen! But couldn't say no!

Hi ssg,
Look at the positive, you came right back.
Do you have a plan?

It will end when you want sobriety more than a drink. It took a long time for me to get there. When I got there it took all of my willpower and all the help I could get to stay there. It is still a struggle. You will have to take the difficult road. No short cuts unfortunately. Good luck.

Hello, sadsadgirl :grouphug:.

Who couldn't you say no to?

The posts after drinking are tough to read. I empathize. But why didn't you post before you drank?

SR can be a great recovery tool, great for support. But it has to be used. If you want to stay quit, try to leverage SR to your advantage.

The best thing you can do right now is to make a plan so that next time, at 15 days, you will be prepared and you will not have to go through this again. You can make this work! :)

I know for me, especially in the first week or so, I NEED to sign into SR. To read, post, chat in the chatroom, play games in the arcade - I've spent SO much time on here in the past 12 days, that I'm sure the Mods think I'm stalking them :) But you know.. SR works, if you give it a chance.
Well done coming straight back - if I can do it, you can do it, trust me :)
Get that shield UP! ;)

Zanna Xx

I feel your pain and disappointment sadsadgirl, it happened me too recently, back on 26 days now and determined not to let it happen again. I know exactly how you feel.. best thing is to draw a new line in the sand and start afresh with new plan. Good luck and keep us posted on progress, you can do it. :)

What are you doing besides willpower? There are lots of tools available but if you don't use them you will continue to drink. For me i sought medical help, help from loved ones, professional help, and AA.

You mention in your past posts that AA was helping you at one point - are you still involved? You have had many "after the fact" threads wishing you wouldn't have drank and wondering why you did. That's common too so don't feel like you are the only one to be in that situation.

But re-read your statement above. You CAN say no - absolutely. And if you feel you can't, you call your sponsor, check in here, go to a meeting - there are lots of choices you can make. But you must first accept that you are an addict and then take action to surround yourself with tools so you don't pick up the first drink. If not you'll simply continue on this same cycle indefinitely.

Have you considered joining a daily or monthly thread here to check in on a regular basis?

Don't beat yourself, what is done is done, we can't rewrite the past, but we can write a new chapter to our future!!

I would encourage getting a plan together, something with plenty of support, plenty of constructive action, a plan that will cememt your Sobriety once and for all!!

You can do this!! :)

true true true... the only way my hubby stopped his run down that terrible hill was on his own doing... me because I did not want to end up like my Pop... a Sad Lonely Nasty Mean Spirited person with so many regerts.. hugs Dear Heart and Prayers.. a Mom in Wisconsin..:grouphug:

Try to find a higher power. I'm at the same point you were at now but have had to whiteknuckle it through a few days.

Yes--Why?

Perhaps if you can answer that question it will help you....

All the reasons why....there is probably a country song that addresses something like this....but all kidding aside: I had to finally GET HONEST with myself before I could really and truly answer WHY. Are there things in your life that are driving you "crazy"? Is it the job. Is it relationships. Is it "teenagers", is it stress, is it financial pressure, is it GRIEF? I'm just brainstorming now....Is it low self esteem...is it abuse...is it trauma?