sweetichick

My mind seems totally obsessed with taking a drink. Tomorrow is payday and I'm really worried about not getting past the bottle shop. I usually buy one can of vodka drink it in the toilets then back after shopping for one or two bottles of wine. I've tried going to different shopping centres but know where all the bottle shops are. My boyfriend will be straight over to check if I've bought anything alcoholic. Last pay I hid it upstairs but he woke up to that trick. He says if I drink again he is walking away and I can't lose him. I can't afford to drink anyway so why am I thinking like this.

Dee74

There were days when all I could do was fight the cravings one hour, one minute at a time.

There are so good tips here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

especially HALT - are you Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired right now Sweetichick? If you are, what can you do about those things?

D

Mattq2

Sweeti,
Don't drink. Eat dinner, watch a movie, anything to keep you from drinking. Take a route home from work that doesn't take you past the shops. I came home as fast as I could ate my dinner then read and posted on SR every night. Please give sobriety a chance. You can do it!

Ghostlight1

I thought like that because I was addicted. I had no control over buying booze, nor how much I consumed. I wanted, er, needed one thing, to get drunk.
That's what alcoholics do, drink, and I was one. I still am one, in fact. I just don't drink anymore.

Think of the consequences if you drink. Is it worth it?
I know it's easy for me to say and I also know how hard it is to not give in, but you can do it.
Do whatever it takes not to drink. Take the time you would spend drinking and recovering and turn it in to something positive.
I'm wishing you the best. You can do it.

Delizadee

First of all, your sobriety should matter first for you.
However, if you want to hold yourself accountable to your relationship and to your boyfriend, instead of worrying about being caught and hiding it and the shame and hurt that comes with that scenario, out yourself now and share your feelings with your boyfriend.
There is a lot to be said about the power of telling on our addictive voices- it can hush them in a hurry the sooner we do it. Reach out somewhere if you can. Keep yourself busy. Don't let yourself stay stationary doing nothing but thinking about it. That is a sure set up for failure.

Dee is right, early days sometimes we just have to take things minute by minute, hour by hour. Post LOTS if you need to. Have you joined a class to share where you're at and get some support from those who are at the same point as you are?
Hang in there!

Fortress

This is so totally me. I only have 6 days sober, so I am not in a position to give advice. I also have not been able to use the help I already have (wife, sober friends). I am going to use SR when the urges hit, maybe it will work for both of us.

fred59

the obsession can be more intense than the physical craving get into a recovery program, also for me just getting outside helps, walk or ride a bike until you are exhausted and remember the craving will pass.

Carlotta

Sometimes a simple change in routine really helps. I used to get beer at a convenience store on my way back from work. When I got sober, I made a conscious decision to take a different route home so I would not pass that store and do some "impulse" shopping. It worked

Check in daily on SR and if you have not already done so, maybe check out a local recovery group whether it's AA (which is what I did), SMART, Lifering.. or whatever you have in Australia.

Having some f2f support and some other women in recovery that you can call when you are struggling is really a big plus in early recovery

It is great that your boyfriend wants you to be sober (you would not believe how many people have partners who sabotage them) but you will find more effective support from other sober alcoholics.

Anyway, hang in there. It will get better with time.

Soberwolf

How are you Sweetchick

Anna

I think the only way to lessen the cravings is by getting through times like this. Get through it and next time it won't be so bad. Get through it and you will have more confidence. You can do this!

Wastinglife

When I look back on my drinking patterns, I can see at what point I was drinking alcoholically. It was when I began to hide my alcohol consumption and employed shady tactics. I was always looking for opportunities to sneak away to drink. My exgf became very good at seeing my true intentions surrounding various behaviours. I would often disappear suddenly to wherever my stash was and she could sense what I was doing. It's no way to live.

PurpleKnight

At one point in my life I left my debit and credit cards at home when I went out to work, that's how drastic things needed to get so I wouldn't buy any alcohol . . . if I hadn't access to any funds then I couldn't buy!!

. . . it worked!!

soberclover

Processing things became easier for me when my mind was able to switch from "I can't" to "I don't want to or I don't drink". When I'm told I can't do something, the little child in my automatically wants to do it.

Accepting that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm not built or wired like other people as far as how my body processes and how my mind thinks about alcohol is different....because I'm an alcoholic. Good thinking about your relationship, but your happiness and your physical and mental safety and serenity is what is most important.

For me, I needed to participate in a lot of counseling

Berrybean

Just don't believe the lie that the little voice whispers, ie. that taking a drink will ease that obsession. Taking a drink only FEEDS the obsession. The longer the time between your last drink and the present moment, the quieter that obsessive alcoholic voice will be when telling you that you 'need' a drink (or deserve a drink, or might as well drink because you're going to blow it anyway, or should take a drink to show him that he can't tell you what to do, or whatever B.S. that voice comes up with the next time and the next.) The first few weeks, or months, are the hardest because that's when the obsession is still at its strongest. You may not be able to shut the little ****er up right away, but you can ignore what it begs and pleads for and slowly starve it.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery. BB