tate9685

A lot of you know that my daughter and her 2 baby boys live with me. Well things have been going smoothly. After my daughter had a melt down a month ago and got into an altercation with her on again off again boyfriend. Last night she was up at 3:30 am and calledhim to pick up her sons because she had a bad feeling. I woke up and she explained to me that she woke up from a dream and felt bad like she was going to die so she drove and parked in a store lot nearby and felt fine. Then she came back home and felt bad again. I told her I thought she was having an anxiety attack but she insisted she wasn't because she has had them before. Her ex picked up their 13 month old and I told her I would put the 2 year old in the bed with me. She said we had to get them out of her bedrrom because there was an evil spirit in there. Then she started elaborating and saying that she felt and heard the evil. She insisted she wasn't crazy and refused to go to the hospital to get help. I've had panic attacks before and felt dread and doom and that is one reason I've successfully taken anti depressant for years. She didn't stay here afterwards. As an alcoholic I'm trying to not get worked up and try to fix her and this situation because she won't takke my advice anyway.

D122y

Tate,

Child protective services comes to mind.

Sounds like your daughter needs medical help.

Thanks.

Soberwolf

I'm really sorry this is happening Tate first & foremost x

It sounds as now would be a good time to speak to your local mental health services ... in the Uk if this behaviour is present normally a section would happen which is when the local MH services take care & custody of said person so they can't harm themselves or others

If this behaviour persistent I'd make the call xx

Stay close & keep us updated this must be very stressful

Anna

Yes, this is something that government services should deal with. Your daughter may not be aware how ill she is and her children are at risk. I don't think it's a question of her not taking your advice. Someone needs to speak up on the part of the children and their safety.

january161992

prayers tate

Venecia

I'm so sorry for your family's situation.

Please don't wait for another incident. Your daughter's behavior is deeply disturbing and requires professional help, starting with child protective services.

D122y

Tate,

Sorry you are dealing w such a huge issue....and...

Sorry...... if i was cold blooded, i got caught up in thinking about the poor kids.

Reminded me a bit about my childhood.

Firstly as well....prayers for you.

tate9685

Thanks everyone. The prayers and support are really needed. She came home with the 13 month old and now is saying she thinks it was an anxiety attack but that she was also half asleep and waking up from a nightmare. She is adamant that she will not seek mental health help because she doesn't want to be put on medication. I don't think any of your reactions was over there top. This

tate9685

It brings up bad memories for me too because I grew up with my mentally I'll mother. She was suicidal and bipolar. She even tried to off herself in the tub one day right before I got home from school so I got to walk into that. I'm just not sure if I should get authorities involved because once they are its a long road.

Soberwolf

Dee74

I think the welfare of your grandchildren needs to be the focus here Tate.

If you're worried about their situation and your daughter refuses to get help, short of you applying for custody yourself, I think calling in government agencies might be your only recourse.

D

ReadyAtLast

Hi Tate,
How are things today? I agree with the others and think you need to involve outside help. It's not your daughter's call anymore. she is putting her children at risk driving out in the middle of the night when she is half asleep and mid panic/anxiety attack. Anything could have happened when she was driving with them. They cannot speak for themselves and need you to do it for them.

Delizadee

I did many things like that when I was very confused between medication, booze, and withdrawals. I am not saying that she is in any one of those states but, I always reached out for help when I felt out of control, so if she is reaching out before acting irrationally that is good.

If she is not following up with aftercare via a dr or psychologist, that is not good.

In our country, there is a very stiff penalty for not reporting child abuse or neglect. I am only saying this because I've had pause to think about the welfare of others kids as have other people had with me and mine.
You need to think very carefully about the welfare of your grandkids especially given their young age without having much of a voice of their own.

Don't make it a project, just make some phone calls and let her know what you're doing, not as an ultimatum but hopefully as a good incentive that she can rest assured, if she can't find the support she needs for herself and her kids, it will be found for her.

There are some mental disorders that people really can't control their thoughts and behaviours. It does not make them bad people, and it does not make you a bad person for making sure EVERYONE involved is in a very safe and secure position, so please bear that in mind. This is not a judgmental call- it's a judgment one. Do the the right thing in the right time frame.

Do not let her remove the children from the home in that state. If things get anywhere close to dicey, call 911 pronto. They police and EMTs are trained to deal with situations like this appropriately.

Do not ever regret going above and beyond what someone else thinks is necessary. You never know what the other person is thinking, dealing with, or going to do, and it is not in your power nor your responsibility to control it.

I have been to the hospital enough times for similar situations. It's a safe place for a person to be when they're not sure what's going on inside them.

And PLEASE, take care of yourself.

DolAndel

Sorry you had a stressful weekend, I'm glad you chose to come here rather than drink. Stressful situations deplete our coping abilities over time which makes us more likely to relapse. Hope your family situation gets better this week.

tate9685

Good morning everyone. I just typed a long post and then wasnt able to post it because I wasnt signed in properly and lost all of the content. So, you are saved from that rambling. Anyway, thank you so much for your support. I need to clarify that she did not take the children out of the house and was not driving around with them. They were asleep the whole time. The 13 month old's father came to get him and the 2 year old stayed with me. I think she is overwhelmed by being a young mom to two baby boys and she really needs therapy and possibly medication but for now she wont even consider it. I am going to make an anonymous phone call to CPS/Social Services to see what my options are. I WILL protect my grandchildren believe me. She is a good mom in that she is attentive and affectionate and takes good physical care of the boys. She is often delusional about the future of her relationship with her 13 month old's father (who is married). He is not a nice person because he cheats on his wife and he also feeds my daughter a bunch of b.s. while seeing even more women. I dont know how he finds the time. But, its disgusting to lie to people the way that he does. She has been obsessed with him for going on 3 years now. She also has low self esteem. Well, I better get to work now. Thank you all so very much!

tate9685

I have been trying to post from my phone but for some reason I keep getting an error message. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I have called a lady at family services and am waiting to hear back from her. She is familiar with my daughter because my daughter was in counseling when she was younger. Meanwhile, my daughter calls me today while I am at work to report that she has good news. She says she has a job offer starting this Monday and also has a guaranteed spot for the boys in day care. She also is working with a career counselor to start training at one of the local hospitals here and then study for her nursing license. All great news, but I told her she needs to take it easy too. She tries to do too much at one time. I will still follow up with the family services department and keep my eyes closely on my daughter and her moods. I tried to talk to her about the episode she had Saturday night and she said she was fine now and didnt want to think about it. I wont forget though and I will follow through. I am so used to this type of living situation because I grew up with a bipolar parent and there was a rollercoaster effect on the household and that is what I came to know as normal. But, I wont allow my grandkids to be effected that way. It is insidious becuase things go so well for long periods of time and then there is a crash or some sort of impulsive manic episode. 55 days here and taking care of myself first and foremost. Went to an AA meeting last night and again tonight and going to do Pilates class today too. Group hug.

tate9685

my two year old grandson's shadow behind an aquariam.

Dee74

very cool avatar
keep us updated tate - and congrats on 55 days
D

Julia8

Best wishes to you! I agree with everyone and hope she gets the help she needs. But I did want to throw out there that I completely believe in spiritual warfare and that there are strong forces of good and evil all around us in the spiritual realm. I will pray for you all!

-J