This seems to be the problem that some alcoholics have. The counting of the days issue.

Sober time is all that matters to me personally, in theory I know that the OP is officially starting from Day1 but to completely write off 4 years of sober life is complete insanity.

So much will have been learned in those 4 years, and although it is day 1 please don't beat yourself up about what has gone on. Life is too short to dwell on guilt or any other form of negative vibe that could come from what has gone on. Deep down you will know if you can get back on track, if you can then my advice is to move on and put it behind you,

Bruno.

As in a lot of threads here, I guess I'll be the odd person out.......From my vantage point I see two issues here.....: the honesty issue and the anniversary issue.

Regarding the honesty issue, don't most spouses find out in the end? If I were the spouse and I found out down the road that my S/O had slipped and not told me I might be a tad PO'd, but then that's just me. The only problem I see with not saying anything is.........what happens if/when she plans something special for your anniversary (you know, the one that really isn't).....?

IDK, I guess I'm more for complete honesty and transparency; way easier that was, but then, that's just moi.

(o: