K66

I'm 30... female... and I have to quit. ..it's a problem for years... I'm missing time from work... drinking pretty much a mickey a day or vodka or wiskey... black outs. .. pins and needles... shakiness anxiety attacks. .. heaviness in my blade. ...I ended up having my supervisor call an ambulance at work and came out with a clean bill of health..so what did I do?? Drink everyday again.. what am I up against over the coming days.... please .... I've been on this site literally all day reading. ...shaking...

Dee74

Welcome K66

Withdrawal is different for everyone so it's hard to predict how it might go for you. If you feel concerned do get some medical help/supervision - it really is the safest way

D

kk1k5x

When there's lots of alcohol involved, I know people consider detox (but this needs medical supervision if it's bad) - more experienced people can give advice on that.
What you're up against? Physical discomfort, but that will subside. Then you have a decision to make - whether every second is one step closer to the next drink or further away from the last one.
Stay away from booze - you're worth it. Life has so much to give you, all you need to do, is give yourself a chance to experience it.

Make a plan to not drink - no matter what.
Best wishes to you and keep coming back for support and advice.

K66

Thank you so much for writing me back... I went a few days last week drinking very light to ween off but then fully relapsed over the last 3 days...minus today. .2 26ers ... so mad at myself...

Mountainmanbob

You are in store for a life filled with serenity if you keep the plug in the jug. Stay close to the site and don't drink.

teatreeoil007

Welcome to this site, K66. You sound miserable and want this to stop. So there's a good motive to STOP. Misery. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sick of being a hamster in a wheel; sort like trying to dig your way out of debt: how big of a SHOVEL do you have? I understand you want to do this safely, and we want that too, so being under medical supervision for alcohol detox is a good idea. Acute alcohol withdrawal can be life threatening.

I cannot make your misery go away; if I could I would, cause that's the kind of person I am...it can feel like a mountain you need to climb right now....but you can DO it.

K66

I'm not honest about it at work. ...even though they're on to me...random tests I've had 3 so far and 3 accusations all of which I passes. .. however the experience has weighed on me terribly.... they made me feel like I was a threat. ..like they weren't here for me...like this was some kind of sports hunting rather then caring for my well being. ...I feel like I'm in a fish bowl.... constantly being watched so the anxiety gives me the shakes.... which makes me feel judged....there gunning for me...and now what....used up all my sick time...tell them I have a problem and have everyone know...I have a loving supportive boyfriend who's supporting me as best he can but obviously there's been some denial on both parties about my drinking

january161992

hello k66

REsoberALITY

Help and Welcome. Can you take sick time regardless. I know you said you've used it up....... But can you take sick time without pay or personal time?

kk1k5x

If there's no drinking, there's no 'like being in a fish bowl', right? No accusations and no need for excuses.
Early sobriety is like getting a new pair of shoes. They're a bit stiff at first, even to the point of being uncomfortable. And of course, they're nothing like what you've grown used to. If you don't give up after the first walk around the block - they'll be the best pair of shoes you have ever gotten. And they can last you a life-time and be worn to any event.
So, put on the shoes and start walking.

SoberLifeForMe

Hi, K66. Welcome. Yes, withdrawals can be very uncomfortable, unfortunately, but you will get through them. But please do seek medical help if you feel the need. I had to once. I don't like having it on my medical record, but I did like knowing I wouldn't have a stroke or heart attack from the withdrawal.

Regarding your job, don't give them any more reason to gun for you, if that's what you feel like they're doing. I know, easy to say. I'm struggling to stay sober myself. What's say we do it together?

least

I hope the support and wisdom here can help you get sober for good. Detox safely, then develop a plan to stay sober.

Hevyn

Happy to meet you K66 - glad you joined the family.

You're in good company with us - plenty of encouragement and friendship here. You can do this, K.

teatreeoil007

I don't know what your line of work is, but it sounds stressful and like there is a certain amount of pressure, but not the support you could sure use right now....My first thought is that if a person has a stressful job to do, they also need to have good hefty "tools" to combat stress and alleviate PRESSURE....physical pressure can end up being PAINFUL as that is pressure put on the nerve endings in the body....but what about psychological pressure, fatigue, weariness, lack of support on the job? We can go through so much; a certain amount, but the pressure can really get to a person and stress them out even more than they already are...and then there is the pressure to be sober....you've passed 3 drug screens, no dispute there; something you can be proud of.

K66

Drug tests and breathalyzer.... but the lack of support is very stressful at times. ..I guess I was starting to show cracks that I didn't even realize...I just don't want to be feeling this way anymore... I hate the anxiety and guilt associated with it.. I hate drinking alone when I'm not with my boyfriend...it always starts with just a few... then the buzz sets in and instead of slowing or stopping I end up way deeper than planed... mix that with eating less ... my skin is even changing... darker pigment of my forhead has started and by my eyes... the hospital blood work came back fine and I told him I'm a drinker so he would check my liver ad kidneys maybe a little closer in the hospital ... I'm so nervous to tell my Dr because he knows my father and both grandfather's were alcoholics. ..

wildflower70

Hi K66,

So sorry to hear of your struggles....It is a reality check when your employment starts questioning your ability to perform.

However, in the end it comes down to what you think of yourself. Your doctor, boss, family, and boyfriend can support you (or not), what do you think of yourself? Love yourself, and forgive yourself for having this addiction. It is you that has to look in the mirror everyday, and like what you see! You can make the shift to a happy sober life, and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks...but you!

Stay strong, hold your head high, and just breathe.....

teatreeoil007

Hmmm. Changes in skin....I get that...different pigmentation could be what they cal 'age spots', which I think is a terrible thing to call them...I don't know how old you are. I noticed some pigment change in my skin over the past few years, and it could be from me taking Thyroid medication, or it could just be getting older, hormone changes..I don't tan very well anymore, just mainly get freckles and blotches, so I try to protect my skin from too much sun...but, then I think, "screw it", I love the sunshine...what is a woman to do?!? Every time I turn around there is something I love to do that is "bad" for me! Getting older is not as easy as I had envisioned.....

K66

I'm 30... and for the sick time... I wouldn't be able to afford it... I live on my own...and the request I fear would raise suspicion further... I'd like to be able to do it while working ideally.. I just have to stop kidding myself into thinking I have control.... I do at times but it's when I'm by myself that I over do it. .. because no one's there to see it but me.. which is terrible... I know I have insecurities from drinking because other than this progressive problem I'm a happy person... I just don't want to turn into my father... its also been harder for the people in my life to be open about their concerns with my drinking because I'm a friendly fun drunk. .. its just getting heavier and daily and I stress about doing it so it's no longer spirits for celibration... its a full blown addiction. ..and I don't want to ruin my life or loose the most incredible man I've ever met... like I said I can have good night's when it's fun but then I'll drink too much....too fast. .no dinner... not remember the end of thè evening... then stress all day about it while feeling the hangover effects in full swing... its a horrible feeling...

Bird615

Welcome to SR, K66!
A whole new life can be yours if you stick around and are willing to put some work into getting sober. There's a lot of information and support for you here.

K66

SoberLifeForMe

I'm struggling to stay sober myself. What's say we do it together?

I like the sounds of that.... united front... I could use all the help I can get.. thank you...