New, scared, and desperate...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 3
Thank you all!
Ok, I guess I'll update everyone. I made it thru work tonite, just barely. I can't express how much it means to me to have the support you all have given me. My addiction started cuz I have 4 broken vertebrae. It started with my prescription to morphine and progressed to heroin fairly quickly. I've been doing H for about 4-5 years. Now I am screwed cuz I barely made it thru work because I'm not only going thru withdraw but the pain in my back. It hurts so much that I can barely move now. This is why I am saying the relapse is inevitable. I need the morphone or I go into spasms. When that happens, I'm told, that it is very violent and scary. Now I say I'm told cuz I don't remember much afterwards. My mom has said it looks like a seizure along with a panic attack. So idk what the hell to do. I feel like I'm just totally screwed. It's a catch 22. If I don't take the morphine, I spasm. If I take the morphine, I fall into abusing it. I can't stand living like this. I feel helpless and like I'm just doomed. It makes me think that my son would be better off without me. If I just vanished, he's still young enough to bounce back from me vanishing. What hell am I supposed to do?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Have you got a pain management Dr?
There must be effective pain relief that won't be as addictive or life threatening as heroin.
I have a chronic pain problem too, in my case from birth.
It took a lot of searching to find the right doctor and the right treatments - I needed someone who understood addiction too.
For me a specially drawn up programme of exercise really helps to keep my pain levels down. I mean who knew..?
I understand that may not be a solution for you - but I wouldn't give up hope of finding solutions that don't revolve around dangerous, addictive drugs
We may have addiction in our history but that doesn't mean we have to live our lives in pain.
D
There must be effective pain relief that won't be as addictive or life threatening as heroin.
I have a chronic pain problem too, in my case from birth.
It took a lot of searching to find the right doctor and the right treatments - I needed someone who understood addiction too.
For me a specially drawn up programme of exercise really helps to keep my pain levels down. I mean who knew..?
I understand that may not be a solution for you - but I wouldn't give up hope of finding solutions that don't revolve around dangerous, addictive drugs
We may have addiction in our history but that doesn't mean we have to live our lives in pain.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You're in a tough spot. But I don't think heroin is the answer. I agree with Dee with regads to a pain management doctor. If you legitimately need strong pain meds, and can avoid abusing them, I think that would be the best solution. WIsh you the best.
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