Noma11

Hello all
I have never properly been in a program to quit. I have turn ed up to a few meetings but that is about it

I know alcohol has caused significant damage in my life
The problem I have is when I associate the feeling of being drunk with so many good times before it makes it hard to stop. I lives in Thailand for 4 years as a young guy, a lot of booze and alot of str8 girls not hookers! I feel a big pull to drink as I reminise of things done before, I assosiate many memories of living in a hilltribe village
(3 yrs) etc with alcohol as it was always present and i always partook

How do i disconnect from that?
My health, my finances etc have really suffered and now my job is at risk from the fact i find it so difficult to not drink..

MIRecovery

For me fun memories were so long ago they are blur. By the time I quit I had drank the fun out of alcohol I drank because I had to and that is an ugly place to be.

"He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end."

This is one of the darkest AA readings but many of us have lived it

least

At the end of my drinking, I had no more happy memories. It was all bad, feeling horrible all the time and hating myself. I had just finally had enough. I only wish I'd gotten sober sooner.

Lightning Bug

I don't think I have had many good memories of drinking. I started late -35- as a Stay at Home mother. I was miserable staying home. So I drank. Then I went back to work as an alcoholic. Work was a godsend but I was hooked. Now I am not and I am happy.

doggonecarl

Perhaps it's time.

Anna

Noma, I think you will be surprised that you can find lots of fun and enjoyment in life without alcohol. You can make new memories of your sober life.

january161992

Mklove

I think it helps to think about and actually list the things you like about drinking and then things you don't like. That list is longer when I'm honest in making the list.

LastDrinks

100% this! I think this is the point of critical mass. The only thing keeping me going for the last 2 weeks is the bad memories and making sure I don't create new ones, despite everything else saying go get drunk.

LastDrinks

Thailand is a crazy place. It is the only time I am thankful that years of heavy drinking I built up a tolerance level to alcohol. This is because my first visit there I got methanol poisoning and ended up in a full-on delirious, nauseated, semi-conscious state for almost 2 days after only 2 drinks. A lot of people die there because of this, so I count myself lucky, which is now kind of ironic.

I also hope you can find a way to override the good things with all the bad things alcohol causes. Even if it may seem the good outweighs the bad now (if only within your own mind), I guarantee that if you keep on drinking more and more the bad will inevitably keep piling up. All the best.

Dee74

I drank until I had no good memories left. I don't recopmmend that.

I worried about never having fun sober too - I have more fun, more joy and more happiness now than I ever did drinking

D

Berrybean

A big part of recovery for me was learning to recognise my AV. My alcoholic voice. That voice will always spin the old yarn of how great the old drinking days were, and how I could just slip back into that existence and all my problems would be taken away and I'd feel happy; bask in the glow of popularity; etc. Etc. MY job is to remember all the stuff that is in my AA step 1. All those ways that drinking led me to an unmanageable life. I still have that all in my notebook, and can reread it any time I like. Or I can call my sponsor or a close AA friend and they can remind me of the realities of it all. I have to play the tape forward - that it's, think through to AFTER the drink. What would I be left with.

This gets easier as time goes on, but it was something I had to consciously do for a while before it ever happened without me working on it. Sometimes when my monkey's chucking lots of peanuts at me at once the urge to run for the cover of oblivion can still creep up on me and the conscious effort is still needed.

I don't know you or your story, but I'm willing to bet that drinking wasn't all happy-happy for you. If it was, you wouldn't have ended up here on this site trying to quit. It's important to remember all of it - nostalgia is generally a lie through omission and it's very very dangerous to us. Often in AA I've heard a lot of talk about denial, and a lot of that can come about through that kind of nostalgic thinking. The selective memory, combined with wishful, idealistic thinking which can easily take us straight back to the need for escape. Please, don't fall for yiur AVs lies.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

ReadyAtLast

I think for many they just remember the fun times as we all remember good times from our past. It's very easy to forget the bad memories even more recent ones. Maybe look at your life now and what drinking has done and know it will only get worse as you get older.

I know you say your job is at risk and health and money issues but do YOU want to quit? I could only quit when I was ready to quit.

CajunPrincess

I randomly stumbled upon this in the Big Book tonight...

" There have also been numerous times when I thought about taking a drink... I have learned early in my AA life that I could not afford to fondle such thoughts, as you might fondle a pet, because this particular pet could grow into a monster. Instead, I quickly substitute one or another vivid scene from the nightmare of my later drinking."