sobersolstice

The first time I attempted stopping, I just stopped and labeled alcohol poison. I went to places and bars days after stopping, and though it was hard, I was committed. Six months later, I called a bunch of friends and family while at a holiday party, and spoke to the wrong person last. I thought I could control it. I was wrong. Every relapse has made it more difficult to extend my abstinence for longer than a week.

I have been wasting my time during this beautiful weather. I come home and go through the regular routine of putting down a sixer instead of going to the gym and eating healthier. I'm barely productive. I remember being so much more productive and purposeful... with better memory and a larger circle of friends. Now, I just stay home. It's a horrible existence.

My first go at it was after 20 years of drinking almost every day. I remember a bit about how I felt, but the demon on my shoulder suppresses that feeling. I miss feeling like a bright eyed kid excited to go and do anything. I'm almost 40, and feel like half of my life disappeared. I'll cherish the moments when I was young, but after having 2 beers at lunch with a work partner yesterday, I realized that I didn't feel any better; just tired. I decided not to buy any booze for the rest of the evening.

Today, I'm still a bit tired, but feel ok. The evening is going to be tough...

Instead of working, I'm here really trying to find something that will work. I've played with plans, but have had trouble breaking patterns, just as with drinking. I will have to create a more personalized plan maybe.

So... What were the methods you all used to push through the first few weeks? The following month? The year? For now, I need more advice with regard to getting through the first couple/few weeks. I really need to gain traction.

I'm a 6-8 beer an evening person, and feel I can stop without huge physical problems. I don't have money for rehab, and AA triggers me. Did most of you just stop? Go through detox? Hit the gym hard? How did you eat, sleep etc. your first week? My life patterns are so messed up, I'm having a hard time finding a routine for even eating, let alone changing up everything else.

I'm going to customize a plan tonight after work.

Just curious as to how you got through the start. Once I get past a couple months, I should be ok with a solid plan. You all are my only support system for now (alcoholic parents), and friends have given up and no longer want to be associated with me. I've been told I get quiet and sullen even after a couple beers. My body is rejecting alcohol at this point because I used to get energetic. It used to give me 'liquid courage'... now I am barely there when I go out. If I drink at home, I pass out on the couch and wake up at 4am, go to bed, and hate life when I have to work. I don't need this anymore. I really need to fight. Fight for my life, even if the process kills me.

CountryChick

I can definitely relate to your story in so many ways. I'm at Day 2 after it seems like a million tries. I would also like to hear some ways others have done it. Good luck to you in your fight for sobriety!

ScottFromWI

Welcome back SoberSolstice.

For me it took acceptance first. I honestly don't think any plan will work unless one can unconditionally and without question accept that they are an alcoholic first. And along with that accept that taking even one sip of alcohol is never an option. You don't even need to call yourself an alcoholic if you don't like the term, but I think you do need to accept that something is inherently different about us that will never allow us to drink responsibly. And we can never, ever change that fact...it will live with us now and forever.

I know that sounds pretty heavy, but for me it was the only possible option. I used SR, therapy, and a lot of reading to get through the initial phase. I'm not an AA regular but I also went to meetings and read the big book.

You mention that you need to fight for your life.....so don't discount options just because they may have not worked in the past. Use every available resource you can, but bottom line make time each and every day to work on your sobriety. Put as much effort into sobriety as you do into drinking and you'll be pretty amazed at how far you'll go.

Anna

I used books initially and then found SR and have been here ever since. It works for me. In the early days, breaking the daily patterns was crucial for me. Early evening was the most difficult time for me, so I began going out for long walks. The benefits were good in so many ways.

Following is a list of programs and plans that our members have used:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

entropy1964

Hey there

Yeah, alcohol doesn't work for me either. Big time.

I have been at this for many years. Periods of abstinence interrupted by worsening and worsening benders. My drinking is pretty scary. I know that if I keep at it I'll die, or kill someone. So, uh, kinda critical at this point.

I checked into rehab for 16 days. Then an IOP for 2 weeks. That was ok but not really meeting my needs. I have fought AA for years. Now, when I am honest about my reasons for not 'liking' AA I realize they were just code for 'I'm not ready to truly let go of all my crap including my addiction' thus keeping my addiction alive....even if I've been sober for up to 2 years. I know AA works. I've seen it work. I'm beginning to accept the words (and I paraphrase) 'those who cannot recover with this simple program are not willing, or unable, to be completely honest with themselves'....or something along those lines. Too lazy to look it up. That's me. I used to say 'the meetings in my area are so 'christian'". Some are. Most aren't. Basically I was making excuses because I guess I want to keep my addiction alive on some sick level. I don't want to anymore. So I have a sponsor, am going to 4 AA meetings a week and 1 meeting at my rehab center.

I believe recovery is holistic-mind, body, spirit, community. So I do yoga, run, walk the dogs, hike. AA addresses the mind and spirit...and my community. I was a complete lone wolf "Oh yeah, I'm FINE". Yeah right. Definitely not fine. AA is an immediate source of people that understand me. I hope in time, friends.

I try to eat healthy, limit sugar (except for a small gummy bear habit) and get really good, regular sleep.

So yeah. Very wordy today. Sorry. Good luck!

Soberwolf

Acceptance really cemented my position in sobriety it's basically having that knowledge of knowing exactly why I dont drink .. I'm not lying to myself anymore them days are gone for me to stay sober I had to get really real about things no more lying to myself I don't toot that I'm alcoholic but I deeply know I am and couple that with working on myself and finding out about myself & especially others sobriety has & keeps teaching me big life lessons

Everyone wants something from this world, all I want is to be ok with myself and with sobriety through good times & bad I get a sense of that & I chase it like a dog with a bone lol

Stick around, get through today & know youve done well

nonblonde

As Scott says, I'm pretty sure acceptance is key. And that's something I too have struggled with time ..and time again. I've had periods of sobriety (and have utilized different sobriety aids...both SR and AA). I had a different SR profile previously. For me, I have come to realize that I struggle with knowing how to live completely without alcohol. Alcohol was such a big part of my culture..and by that I mean the life I know and have lived (not ethnicity ). Most recently, I was doing well; eating right, hitting the gym daily, reading great books....and then I thought I could have "one"....which led to two...which led to contacting a drinker friend and then an all out "binge". It derailed me and I drank and smoke cigarettes for a bout a week until I got back on the sober horse...
An in that week I was able to see how "pathetic" life is if my idea of killing an evening is with booze. I accomplish little else if I open a bottle of wine right after work (rather than go to the gym and ease my stress that way). Over the past weekend I read to really great books..and I couldn't help realizing how many books I probably would have read if my life road had been different. I am a book lover (and wannabe writer)..so for me, that was a pivotal (and saddening) realization.

It's odd the little things I realize how my life differs when sober as opposed to drinking. I make my bed every morning. I wash my dishes after dinner. I brush my teeth and wash my face (rather than just pass out). I wake up to a clean place... in short, I live like an adult. Just recently, I sort of guffawed at the term "functioning alcoholic"...because in truth..I really wasn't functioning as an adult at all. I could keep a job yes...but how lived was my life really? Did I set financial goals to go on trips or make major purchases? No.

I've gotten way off track. I apologize...but you will find much resource and community here. Acceptance is big...really big.

january161992

going to a meeting everyday and listening for the similarities not the differences

Darwinia

The first month was just hard grind and stubborn willpower. The months following that more of the same. But one does get into another rythm. It's doable.

Fly N Buy

Well, not to be contrary - but I had accepted I was an alcoholic long before I quit a couple years back. I have also accepted I would likely die as a direct result or bi product of consuming an abundance of alcohol.

Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled in order to want sobriety over drunkeness. Consequences had gotten to point where not drinking was my only option or severely suffer the outcome. I had hit my head hard enough, long enough.

As others have mentioned, they were able to quit based on the acceptance of the problem. They were very fortunate.

We can accept the problem........the rub is can we accept the solution? Mine was/is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and a daily dose of SR.

zeldachan

You're almost there... You can do it!

Everyone in this thread has really good ideas - listen to them!

I'll add something tiny that's more of a coping mechanism than a real cure, but you might find it helpful as you mentioned drinking is more of a ritual type habit.

I found that replacing my mixed drinks and liquor with seltzer helped me control the ritual of it. I'd "mix" seltzer with fruit juice, pour it into a wineglass, and relax on the porch or take a bath, and my demon settled down a bit and stopped whining for a while.

This isn't for everyone, but it helped me because I'm a "rituals" kind of person. Drinking was almost a ritual to me and I co-opted that with a healthy habit! The key is: know you have the strength to persevere!! Get help! If not AA them a counselor or other group. Dont do this alone. We believe in you.

FarToGo

The first week was really tough and I just MADE myself do anything but drink, different routine, lots and lots of relevant and motivational reading. I didn't get into SR until about month two, I wish I'd come here straight away, it would have helped.
Lots of outdoors, gym work outs, cleaning............ big supply of lovely soft drinks, jobs I'd been putting off.
Fortunately I read some wise stuff, one sentence helped a lot, "sobriety is like a little car starting to roll down a hill, very slow and bumpy and then gains momentum and strength....... " That and other words of wisdom helped me to hold on. Pretty soon you start to feel better and proud of yourself so you can try for week two and the benefits start kicking in soon after.
The gateway to a much better life starts to open.
Lots of luck.
xx

Coldfusion

I was seriously weak in terms of being able to quit on my own, and needed serious help. I went to the hospital, and they checked me out and gave me a couple IV's (I was very dehydrated). I then spent a week in detox, and followed up with AA meetings.

I sometimes feel like I didn't do a thing--it was all done for me.

thomas11

I don't believe I really had any methods. I recall having tried pretty much everything but quitting, so through the process of elimination I stopped. A bit difficult at first, but as time went by, I found myself losing interest in being buzzed. It helps that I like being sober, I like feeling good. Losing interest in drinking I accept as God's gift to me. Its been a blessing.

U75

I don't recommend my method. I got hammered on a three day bender and came within a hair's breadth of losing my home, wife, kids, and livelihood all in one fell swoop. Somehow I survived that night, but I was paralyzed with fear for weeks. That, plus the horrible WD symptoms, kept me on the straight and narrow long enough to get through those early days.

During that time, I found SR. That's pretty much what has made the difference for me this time around.

tomsteve

it started with not wanting to kill myself
then a willingness to do whatever was necessary for victory over alcohol.
then following up with the actions- a lot of lookin at what made me tick and changing me.
and giving the process T.I.M.E.
36 years of living with the last 23 years of that drunk, things weren't going to change overnight.

Lightning Bug

In a nutshell:

Rock bottom
Rehab
Campral
Blogging
SR, posting and reading
Behavioral therapy

freshstart57

What I did lines up with this post pretty well. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

I made the choice black and white - have another drink, buy another bottle, pass out again, and lose my physical and mental health, my family, my home, my job, OR quit drinking and demand of and for myself a better life, a life I deserve. No gray areas. A simple choice with two clear options.

There were no white knuckles, no hanky twisting, no daily debate and no conditions I had to meet to obtain and maintain my sobriety. It was such a relief to know I would never experience those awful hangovers, the shame, guilt, anxiety and fear. It was done. And I am sober.

People quit drinking every day, and you can be one of them. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol? Keep posting, Sobersolistice, OK?

doggonecarl

And how will you know? Waiting to find a plan that appeals to you? Looks easy?

I suggest you pick the one that causes you the most discomfort...because that's your addiction letting you know which one it fears the most.

sobersolstice

Thanks for sharing all of your experiences, and advice.

I was driving home from a short, but stressful work-day, and hopped in the truck, thinking "Ahhh.. beer:30" as the physical side began manifesting itself. I came home instead, and decided to hop on here.

I'm definitely an alcoholic. I've admitted that more than a decade ago. I think the hardest part was becoming apathetic about life. I'm not sure what my goals are (though I own a business), and basically threw in my chips and figured I'd die a drunk.

Then I looked back at my life in 2012 when I joined and after a short month or so, felt much better. My friends reappeared, I was rock climbing, skiing, biking, hiking, boxing, and working on point. I was able to live off of half of my income, which for the time (had a PT job) was unbelievable. I remembered things... I have to look back to that and YES, 100% I want that life again instead of spending my weekends and all free time in bed drinking water then drinking poison again in the evenings.

This may sound weird, but I feel great on the morning of day 1, then things get rough in the evening and through days 2-5, then it's physically easier, though I still get cravings.

What was my point? Umm... Getting ready to slay dragons.

Oh... What did most of you who didn't go through detox/rehab eat, or not eat? Did you engage in hard physical exercise immediately, or rest a while? I'm trying to reconfigure my life through a plan and live more routinely so I don't hit the AV auto-pilot button. I need to break the cycle of taking this seriously, to saying "Whatever, I don't care. Healthy people die all the time...". Maybe I just need to go run, lift, climb until I pass out.

This organic soda tastes way better than beer now that I think about it. I mean... did any one of us like the flavor of wine, beer, etc. in the beginning? "I drink it for the taste, my butt"... You just want to fit in. I remember looking around a local brewery and noticed about half of the people weren't drinking. I guess this is a good place for finding folks who don't drink.