Wtbaf16

I'm back to SR and I'm wondering if anyone has tried MM as part of their recovery?

I've been here a few times now. I seem to easily stay sober for two or three months then it falls apart. This last time I was able to convince myself that I could stick to drinking only on weeks. Just two or three then come Sunday I'd stop until Friday night. For the first two weekends it worked, then, well, I'm sure we all know what the "then" is. And now today, Monday, I had to call in to work on sick leave. You wouldn't believe how many times I've done that over the years.

I'm now determined to stop for good. But I recognize I have to have a solid plan otherwise I'll fail and I just don't want to do this yo yo thing again.

My daughter is a year older now and knows I drink alcohol and has seen me several times drunk. She knows what her mother is. I hate that most of all. I am going to seek professional help this time. Luckily my work does provide confidential counseling so tomorrow I will make an appointment to see them. I hope counseling , mindful meditation and changing my evening routine will help.

So totally disappointed in myself. 11 years of my 11 year old child's life has been spent drunk and angry. Who wants a drunk as a mother ?

I'm totally depressed and feel so alone. My family live 5000 miles away, my relationship with my husband is strained to say the least, and I'm rouining my relationship with my daughter. I just don't know where to turn for real support. One thing I do know however is that I don't want ten more years to go by with me in this state and my daughter know only a drunken mother. It's wrong on all fronts and she doesn't deserve that. I have to get a grip, I'm just struggling to make it stick.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back to SR. I can relate to your story, being a mother too.

I did use MM as a keen reader and found many of the literature very helpful. There is a good thread further up about books in recovery which might help you. I liked the idea of staying in the moment/now and not feeling down about the past or fearful of the future.

I've lost my way recently too and stepping up recovery is necessary for me too. Reading and MM was just one aspect for me. It's finding what works for you. SR is a Godsend too.

Anna

Mindful Meditation is fantastic. It's simple but not easy. If you want to try it, check out Jon Kabat-Zinn's website for information. I use it because my mind tends to wander into dark places when I am stressed or when I am especially happy. It's extremely frustrating. Mindfulness helps to keep you grounded in the present. My little granddaughter began to learn it in Kindergarten at her school!

I'm glad that you are going to begin counselling and I expect that it will help. You have to find what works for you. Since weekends are the hardest, my suggestion would be to plan. Plan to keep busy, plan to be doing different things next weekend than you normally do. Avoid the same shopping places, the same restaurants, etc. It really helps in the early days, to change your daily routine.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Wtbaf16. When I fully realized how alcohol was affecting my relationship with my family it was a big incentive for me to quit as well, I hope you can use that as a motivator. I really hope you can find some support here or perhaps locally to and really want to stay quit for yourself as well.

I have done a lot of reading and tried to practice mindfulness and meditation on the suggestion of my counselor - who I actually see for my anxiety. Turns out my anxiety and my addiction have a lot in common and the practice helps me in both instances. Specific to addiction, MM helps keep me grounded and also helps me accept my situation and myself for what it is. I got drunk to escape/run away from reality...MM helps you deal with it. And I think that's a good thing whether you are an addict or not, but certainly give it a try!

kinzoku

I knew my dad as a drunk when I was a kid, and now we are both sober (him just a moderate drinker, me completely).

Interestingly enough we are both into zen and meditation though we walk separate paths in that regard in terms of how we got to where we are and what kind of style we practice.

I think meditation is sooo powerful for sober living. Even just mindfulness. Stopping, becoming present, watching your thoughts pass by, becoming the observer...realizing that you are not your mind. These are ways to escape negative thought loops. Addiction is a huge negative thought loop.

Wtbaf16

Thank you everyone for your feedback and support. I will look into MM and report back on its affects.

entropy1964

Its great that you are realizing the desperation of your addiction. Your daughter is at a pivotal age (I have an almost 16 yr old girl) and will need you more than ever as she enters her teen years, dreaded middle school, puberty etc. But you have to do this for you, right?

Yes I use mindful meditation and yoga everyday (well most everyday). So much of recovery based thinking is grounded in mindfulness. Let go of the past, not fearing the future, staying present in the moment. Our thinking and emotions drive our behavior. So, after quitting drinking, our recovery starts with changing our thinking, reactions and behavior.

I personally am going all in with AA now. I believe its my only option (that and counseling). And I've seen it work for so many. Why not me? I can't do this alone.

Good luck.

Soberwolf

Good to see you

Wtbaf16

My daughter really is my big concern. I would hate to think she starts drinking simply because I do! Not the legacy I want to leave but how could I ever tell her not too when I'm often at the bottom of a bottle myself?

ScottFromWI

That is not something you can control Wtbaf. You can control your actions today though and taking a stand to get and stay sober will influence those around you. And you can start changing/defining what your legacy will be right now.

Dee74

I don't think it's possible to tell her not to, but I think it might be possible to share your story and, of course, your recovery with her - when you think the time is right

Good luck with the mindfulness meditation

D

uncorked

MM is wonderful. It's something I learned while in rehab -- one of the counselors (dubbed "The Human Valium" because of his voice) offered guided meditation 3x a week. It is really helpful. It's hard to stop your thoughts but the more you do it, the easier it gets. (I prefer guided meditation for that reason). He still offers the class for us (free) online once a week. Don't give up -- you're able to achieve sobriety for several months at a time. That's more than a lot of people have been able to do.

LadyBlue0527

Yes and it's very helpful in all areas of life. When my counselor and I were devising a plan to avoid relapse she mentioned this. Since she was going on vacation she gave me her clinicians guide to read which was all on how to create and run a group. I loved reading it.

In starting the meditation what I really liked was the encouragement the tape gave that mind wandering is normal. It takes some practice but it's great "me" time!

I highly recommend it.

Delilah1

I have been working on mindfulness as part of my recovery, but haven't looked into Mindful Meditation, I will though.

I am the mother of three kids 9, 11, and 13. I remained sober when I was pregnant and nursing each of them, and I have nine months sober right now. I know that my

Boleo

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5306484