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Old 09-25-2016, 12:32 PM
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Hi, new to posting

Hi all, am new to the site. After 20 years of alcohol troubles I stopped drinking last year. Had always been a party girl, but continued after getting married and having kids. I was never physically addicted and for the majority of my life I was functional, but drank three or four of bottles of wine a week, and every few months I would binge and blackout.
I would also become difficult sometimes and argumentative, causing problems with my husband. I often felt ashamed of my drunk self and am feeling much happier since becoming sober, I feel I am a better wife and mum now and my moods are more stable.
My main concern is now that I am only about 6 weeks from a year of sobriety I am thinking about drinking again? I'm pretty sure I won't and I know if I did my husband would be devastated .I just don't know where these thoughts are coming from all of a sudden?
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:38 PM
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Hello and welcome to SR. After reading how happy you are and how well things seem to be when you're NOT drinking...... Also how you feel you were when you WERE drinking..... What makes you actually think you want to drink again!?
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:44 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Tweetie!!
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:53 PM
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Congratulations also on your almost a year of sobriety too! That's amazing!
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:58 PM
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Thankyou ResoberALITY for your reply. I agree completely with what you've written which is why I can't understand my own thinking! I would be crazy to even contemplate a drink as I have too much to lose, I know I can't moderate for any length of time, been there, tried that and failed!
In my mind I miss the time sharing a bottle of wine and having that relaxed time with my husband, but in reality it wouldn't last long as I'd often get drunk and we would argue?
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:10 PM
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I have just a little more sober time than you have right now. (13 months)

The same thought you're having entered my mind a lot during the first 3 months of quitting and a few times since. But right now, the thought of relapsing scares the sh** out me. I hope it continues to terrify me! If not, I hope something other than drinking reminds me how terrifying it is. Reading stories here often helps me keep all this in mind. Especially from the veterans who've been through it after being sober so long and the often bigger struggle it was later to get back to it.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:12 PM
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Welcome to SR! Don't do it. It sounds like you already know what the negative consequences would be. Nearly a year of sobriety is incredible! You shouldn't have that drink, if for no reason other than, if you relapse, you'll be starting from scratch again. Stray thoughts about wanting to drink can pop up out of nowhere at any point in your recovery. It may just be your brain trying to rationalize having another drink and telling you that you'll be able to drink in moderation or telling you that drinking is all right for some reason, now that you have so long under your belt. Especially if you have so long under your belt. And even if you know thes things to be untrue. Your brain can be your best friend in recovery, but it can also be your worst enemy. Thoughts like that doesn't make you crazy. They're incredibly normal at any stage of the recovery process. All of us have them. But don't give in to the bad thoughts. Hope you make it through!
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:20 PM
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Hi Tweetie! Congrats on staying sober so long, that's great. SR can help you deal with issues that come up like these thoughts you're having now. Remember, you're in control and never have to drink again!
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:40 PM
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In my mind I miss the time sharing a bottle of wine and having that relaxed time with my husband
Is it the wine that makes it nice to be with your husband? You might want to re-examine that. Maybe just misworded.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:44 PM
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Hi Tweetie
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:54 PM
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Welcome, Tweetie! Have you tried writing a gratitude list? That's a good thing to keep on hand at all times should you doubt your decision to get sober.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:59 PM
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Welcome to the family and congrats on nearly a year sober! I've been sober almost 7 yrs now and still sometimes get thoughts of drinking. I just 'play the tape thru' and remember how I'll feel if I drink and how much I don't want to go there.
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Old 09-25-2016, 05:12 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR Tweetie

I can tell you, unequivocally, that nothing will have changed if you go back to drinking.

Don't do what I did and confuse abstinence for control - they are not the same thing.

Your life is good now because you have removed an eternally toxic relationship you have with alcohol...why would you go back?
D
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