D122y

My usual MO is to piggy back on another thread as i relate to it.

Today, nothing relates to what I am feeling.

Going on 17 months sober, I find myself obsessing about work.

Before I was hungover and obsessing...so i was always planning on when I could drink again to party and blurr the pain.

Now, i don't drink any more so my clean, brand new mind....obsesses. The obsessing seems more intense now that I am clean.

Last night, me and my wife went out to have a great time at a local concert.

The band was a very popular one from my childhood.

For some reason, I kept obsessing about this rediculous issue at work I have no control over and in the big scheme means nothing to me.

Being sober makes this issue, and others, that much more clear.

I am so greatful to be where I am today. I am lucky to be alive, healthy, have a family that loves me, etc etc. There are so many folks that are in dire situations.

I am blessed and thankful.

Anyone out there obsess? I know strategies to help manage it, but sure could use some real time advice and counseling from my SR family.

I can't really see a shrink right now. I would lose my job. My boss is out to get me....he has been messing w me...and others....since he took over years ago...

I am looking for real life strategies to defeat obssesive thoughts that work for you all.

Thanks.

Hday

Hey D122y -

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to your situation. I'm almost 14 months sober (8/3/15), and I've been struggling lately, too. Mostly w/ anxiety. I'm not sure why. I know I got "off track" when I took a vacation at the end of August and got out of my usual workout and AA meeting routine. Do you have a routine that helps you? What about exercise?

I feel better now, after several weeks back in the groove. But I'm still not as happy and calm as I would like to be. One thing I've been obsessing over lately is a problem w/ my dogs: they're about 2, fully house trained, but they've been peeing inside since our vacation. It's mostly the female, and it probably started w/ a UTI - so I'm finishing up some antibiotics for her. But it's also a behavioral thing. And it is driving me CRAZY! > How do you "let go and let God" about stuff like this? I mean, I have to proactively DO something to resolve the problem. I've been praying about it, doing what I can to treat her, change things around the house in an effort to stop the behavior, etc. Ugh.

I've been advised that I should use the tools more - i.e., picking up the phone/reaching out and connecting with my sober friends. That has been tough for me. I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm in such a better place than I was before I quit drinking. So in a way - I hate to call someone to complain about pretty minor stuff, you know? I think perhaps a lot of this is just learning how to live life sober - to deal w/ emotions that come up and not bury them. I guess I'm still so new that feelings make me uncomfortable.

Anyway - it's nice to connect here. I'm starting my day and was looking for a message that I could relate to from someone else on a similar journey - and here you are! Thank you. I hope you have a good day.

GroundhogDay

I've learned a bit about Taoism from others here on SR and reading on my own. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine work stresses floating away from me on a river. In general, 20 minutes of meditation followed by a long walk is helpful. Sometimes on the walks, work thoughts re-invade my head, but in a positive way. I develop new coping strategies for when I have to deal with these issues at work.

Reading fiction books usually helps me to replace bad thoughts with good ones, assuming they are uplifting.

Any thoughts about getting a new job since your current boss is unsupportive? My boss is very supportive, which makes all the difference.

DolAndel

Sounds like a stressful boss! Is there any way to improve that relationship? Is he so bad that you need to talk to his boss?

MIRecovery

Balance, balance, balance. Where and how do we find it. I haven't figured this one out yet but being sober at least lets me recognize the problem

MrPL

Hi D122Y,

I am nowhere near your sobriety length but I have lived a stress free life for a few years now (apart from drinking).

I also realised I have an obsessive personality, that applies to work, family, anything I do (including drinking and drugs). What worked for me is to fill my life with more things. I don't mean just going to the gym or reading before bed, I mean taking on difficult long term projects, things that require your obsessive personality so that they can happen.

I still do think a lot about work, but when the time comes to leave the office my head switch to the other projects, which are things that actually make me happy. A lot of days I feel like I don't have the energy to do what I set myself to, especially when work was tough, but if I push myself and start the energy always suddenly appears.

This works for me, there is so much happening in my life that unless everything goes wrong nothing can stress me. Drinking did exactly that, made stop doing everything else apart from going from work and just about maintaining a decent family life.

Hope this helps.

P

madgirl

Maybe turn the relentless focus on things you control - so, you. Let go of the illusion that you can control anything or anyone else.

That is what I am doing - sometimes by the hour. It almost feels child like - for instance, over the next week I am moving into a new house, so there is LOTS to consider, but last night I was going to watch my son march with the band at HS football - so I told myself "you are going to the game. Let go of everything else. Game."

Feels silly at times but it works. I have worrisome thoughts too about new coworkers, husband, son (especially because he is running around in cars with other teenage drivers - ack!!) - but I cannot control those things, so I move on to something I can control - me.

thomas11

Hi D122, I'm an obsessor as well, and it has gotten a bit worse since being sober. My mind feels like a steel trap. I certainly have not "fixed" it, but I've learned some coping mechanisms. Mine are strenuous exercise, and I'll also force myself to watch a game or program with no distractions. Weird I know, but it works for me. I hope you find some relief.

And congrats on 17 months! Incredible.

HopeandFaith1

I think this is very good advice. I think as alcoholics we tend to be obsessive by nature, even while recovering. I too have a problematic boss and when I find myself obsessing I ask myself " Well what can I do about it right now?" And the answer is, most likely nothing, so it does no good and solves nothing to obsess over it. Try to leave work troubles at work, after all we are all fighting a much greater battle for sobriety and peace of mind. Reading the Serenity Prayer has helped me reset my brain when I get stuck in a groove. Like Madgirl said try to focus on things you CAN control, does very little good to worry about things you can't. Sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way.

D122y

Ladies and Gents,

Thank you a million.

New ideas, strategies, affirmations, and above all....a little support from like minded folks on a similar path.

Teamwork!

Dharma33

Hey, D122y-

We have around the same amount of sober time.... I can share that volunteering really helped me get out of my own head and has forced my mind to slow down a bit.

I've taken on a board position which is seemingly like a part-time job, but it has been immensely helpful for my recovery in unexpected ways.

Congrats on the sober time (and going to a concert sober! I haven't crossed that bridge yet).

D122y

4 people have already left this 6 plus figure job....because of this boss....

I was here before him and i plan to be here if he gets fired for his actions.

He seems to revel in his clicky ways...it is something i never understood...favorites and all...but that's why I'm not a boss...

I do my jobbto my best ability and get home to my world that matters....family..

Thanks...