Hard to admit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 16
Hard to admit
I am struggling to admit that I have a bit of a problem with alcohol.
Let me start with saying I do not wake up every morning and think... I need a drink. I am 33 and have been drinking... mainly binge since I was 15 although I must say not noticeably more than most of my peers.
I can quite easily go long periods without drinking,30-40 days at a time.. no problem
My problem is that when I have a drink it becomes very habitual to the point where I start drinking twice a week then 3 times a week, pretty soon it's mosts days and always ultimately ends up in me binging for several days in a row before I can't take it anymore or I get sick... at which stage I go off the drink again for a while.
Now I am very aware of what alcoholics look like, both my parents are / were alcoholics, Drinking every single day in my house was extremely common place for decades until both my parents eventually came to a point. My mum quit and my dad was forced to quit due to serious health reasons. My childhood was great but as I got older obviously as their drinking became worse and harder to hide it was not the greatest place to be but hey ho.. that's family.
I think my main reason for posting here is because I have a young son now and whilst my drinking is not problematic at the moment , I think I am at a cross path where if I keep on drinking I will just get worse and worse and if I give up I can actually be the good husband and father that I want to be.
Not all that happens when I drink is bad but most bad stuff happens when I drink and I am sick of the person it turns me in to.
3 days after a massive binge now and am wondering if other people have a similar experience to me.
Let me start with saying I do not wake up every morning and think... I need a drink. I am 33 and have been drinking... mainly binge since I was 15 although I must say not noticeably more than most of my peers.
I can quite easily go long periods without drinking,30-40 days at a time.. no problem
My problem is that when I have a drink it becomes very habitual to the point where I start drinking twice a week then 3 times a week, pretty soon it's mosts days and always ultimately ends up in me binging for several days in a row before I can't take it anymore or I get sick... at which stage I go off the drink again for a while.
Now I am very aware of what alcoholics look like, both my parents are / were alcoholics, Drinking every single day in my house was extremely common place for decades until both my parents eventually came to a point. My mum quit and my dad was forced to quit due to serious health reasons. My childhood was great but as I got older obviously as their drinking became worse and harder to hide it was not the greatest place to be but hey ho.. that's family.
I think my main reason for posting here is because I have a young son now and whilst my drinking is not problematic at the moment , I think I am at a cross path where if I keep on drinking I will just get worse and worse and if I give up I can actually be the good husband and father that I want to be.
Not all that happens when I drink is bad but most bad stuff happens when I drink and I am sick of the person it turns me in to.
3 days after a massive binge now and am wondering if other people have a similar experience to me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Hayestown,
Welcome to the forum. We have the same age, I also have two young kids and my drinking pattern was very similar to yours, so I know what you are going through right now.
The people here are amazing and helped me tackle recovery in a way I didn't know was possible, and I am now 40 ish days sober and it feels great.
Have you tried a recovery plan before? It s been a game changer for me, for the first time this doesn't feel like a break, but like the new reality.
You can do this.
P
Welcome to the forum. We have the same age, I also have two young kids and my drinking pattern was very similar to yours, so I know what you are going through right now.
The people here are amazing and helped me tackle recovery in a way I didn't know was possible, and I am now 40 ish days sober and it feels great.
Have you tried a recovery plan before? It s been a game changer for me, for the first time this doesn't feel like a break, but like the new reality.
You can do this.
P
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Hayestown!
By the sounds of your post, you'd fit right in with the rest of us.
If you have a problem with drinking and would like to stop, this is a great place to learn more about it and get support.
By the sounds of your post, you'd fit right in with the rest of us.
If you have a problem with drinking and would like to stop, this is a great place to learn more about it and get support.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Towards the last few years of drinking, virtually every problem that occurred was in one shape or fashion linked to the drink!
I thought my drinking only affected me - just this little drunk cove in life's pond. However, the ripples from my drinking behavior permeated everything I touched. Nothing was unscathed.
Kudos for you on what appears to be a desire to quit drinking. Many of us had alcoholic parents...........seems to follow us. You will find a new freedom and peace should you choose sobriety.
I thought my drinking only affected me - just this little drunk cove in life's pond. However, the ripples from my drinking behavior permeated everything I touched. Nothing was unscathed.
Kudos for you on what appears to be a desire to quit drinking. Many of us had alcoholic parents...........seems to follow us. You will find a new freedom and peace should you choose sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,978
Welcome Hayestown
Do something about it now. What happens when your body starts not letting you take a break. I hit a point where I eventually had to drink or would start having withdraws. Looking back, it happened very slowly. I'm 37 now and never thought I would become one of those guys.
Do something about it now. What happens when your body starts not letting you take a break. I hit a point where I eventually had to drink or would start having withdraws. Looking back, it happened very slowly. I'm 37 now and never thought I would become one of those guys.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Saudi Arabia
Posts: 476
Hi Hayestown, welcome to SR, Yes I have the same problem as you but a bit older at 54, I had to stop drinking as I knew my children ( 2 boys 4 and 8yrs young and daughter 17yrs) would not have a change in life if I continued the way I was going, I am the only breadwinner and education/mortgage/food/cloths etc. do not come cheap. Also the headaches and binging were getting worse and was missing days from work, was lucky I wasn't sacked, I got over the first 3-4 days in the horrors and had a long cold look at my situation, my wife was threatening also to leave me. don't blame her. so jumped into sobriety and now just on day 11 and feeling allot better and busy back in work. I also suffer from post alcoholic withdrawal symptoms (paws) and know I have a long way to go to get clean, I suffer with insomnia, wooley head, memory problems, especially short term, headaches, tremors, cravings, crazy thoughts etc. etc. I believe I have hit the wall and will never go back as I have my family to provide for and they come first to me but to do that I have to put me and my health first to achieve this and not to take another sup ever again in my life. I am content with that as during my 35 yrs drinking I have drank my fill. QED, Period, FULL STOP, NO MORE POISON, NEVER. Good luck Hayestown and make the right decision, don't feed the Beast, starve it to death. keep us posted here on SR, YOU WILL GET GOOD SUPPORT HERE, Sorry for ramble but felt good getting it out myself, bye for now, take care. C
Last edited by carlingford; 09-21-2016 at 03:09 PM. Reason: ERRORS
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 16
Thanks so much guys for your words. I don't know what I was expecting but it seems this really is a place to come to get help with your problems. Will keep updating but already feeling miles more positive than I was just for being on here
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Yep, ditto.
Not every time that I drank something bad happened, but when something bad happened, inevitably I was drinking.
That was 5 months ago now and while sometimes I have struggled, for the most part I am much happier and make safer decisions. My self esteem and confidence is coming back. I am less depressed and making strides in all areas of my life.
You can have this too if you want to. Keep coming back here!
Not every time that I drank something bad happened, but when something bad happened, inevitably I was drinking.
That was 5 months ago now and while sometimes I have struggled, for the most part I am much happier and make safer decisions. My self esteem and confidence is coming back. I am less depressed and making strides in all areas of my life.
You can have this too if you want to. Keep coming back here!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Hayestown100 
...my drinking is not problematic at the moment
It's also problematic in that since you don't think it's a problem yet you might try to convince yourself that since your drinking isn't that bad, you can continue drinking, or try to moderate.
Accept you can't drink and work on a plan to support that decision to quit...forever.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
You just got off a three-day binge. You said you drink until you get sick. That's problematic.
It's also problematic in that since you don't think it's a problem yet you might try to convince yourself that since your drinking isn't that bad, you can continue drinking, or try to moderate.
Accept you can't drink and work on a plan to support that decision to quit...forever.
It's also problematic in that since you don't think it's a problem yet you might try to convince yourself that since your drinking isn't that bad, you can continue drinking, or try to moderate.
Accept you can't drink and work on a plan to support that decision to quit...forever.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,076
Welcome to the forum! I'm glad your here.
Remember the disease is progressive. You may be able to go a period of time right now without drinking but, that will change. A three day binge will turn into a three month binge with time. Eventually you won't be stopping at all and, may lose everything that is precious to you. Stop now but, do it for yourself above all.
Remember the disease is progressive. You may be able to go a period of time right now without drinking but, that will change. A three day binge will turn into a three month binge with time. Eventually you won't be stopping at all and, may lose everything that is precious to you. Stop now but, do it for yourself above all.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
To add to what others have said....you wrote out a lot of the comparisons many of us did - you don't binge all the time, could quit for x days, it's not a problem yet.....
All ways the alcoholic justifies continued drinking.
Is alcohol interfering with the life you want? Sounds like it is. That's reason enough alone to quit.
Wanting to and finding support here is great, but you need an actual plan. Now would be a great time to try AA.
Bottom line, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, regardless of how much your mind tells you that you can handle it. If you are an alcoholic, eventually you won't be able to do so, either physically or in the mess you've made of your life. I can promise you that if drinking is causing you anguish already, and you are exhibiting very clear signs of alcoholism- sobriety is a much better way of life.
Good luck. You can make the decision to quit forever and find a wonderful life on this side.
All ways the alcoholic justifies continued drinking.
Is alcohol interfering with the life you want? Sounds like it is. That's reason enough alone to quit.
Wanting to and finding support here is great, but you need an actual plan. Now would be a great time to try AA.
Bottom line, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, regardless of how much your mind tells you that you can handle it. If you are an alcoholic, eventually you won't be able to do so, either physically or in the mess you've made of your life. I can promise you that if drinking is causing you anguish already, and you are exhibiting very clear signs of alcoholism- sobriety is a much better way of life.
Good luck. You can make the decision to quit forever and find a wonderful life on this side.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 16
Thank you everyone once again for your words. I think it's exactly what I need to hear and I am even more glad that I have turned to this site for help. A couple of people have mentioned recovery plans. Does anyone know where I can get on to one of these?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Hayestown100
Thank you everyone once again for your words. I think it's exactly what I need to hear and I am even more glad that I have turned to this site for help. A couple of people have mentioned recovery plans. Does anyone know where I can get on to one of these?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 16
Day 8 and apart from a stinking cold I am feeling really positive. I have been reflecting a lot on my new life out of the pub and am trying to think of different activities / hobbies for me and my son to get in to. The future is bright
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