Met with my PCP today and .......
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 23
Met with my PCP today and .......
Well, ambivalence is the key word.
She told me she cannot treat me for outpatient Detox. She will not prescribe Benzos to someone who is/could still be drinking. She said do inpatient.
So, I am going to do it. My schedule opened up so I have 5 days to dedicate to this.
The crushing part is the conversation. I have been a drinker for years. But as many professionals, a "functional alcoholic." During my years of functional alcoholism I met the love of my life. A woman I will think of if I am fortunate to know I am dying. I learned in the conversation with my PCP who also treated my ex-wife, how torn up she was about my drinking. And that is why she left me.
Damn.
Well, onward and upward. But that hurt. When I get through detox I am going to give her a call and tell her how sorry I am. But I loved her, still do, and I always will.
But, I can power through this. I will. I cannot change the past. But I can affect my future.
She told me she cannot treat me for outpatient Detox. She will not prescribe Benzos to someone who is/could still be drinking. She said do inpatient.
So, I am going to do it. My schedule opened up so I have 5 days to dedicate to this.
The crushing part is the conversation. I have been a drinker for years. But as many professionals, a "functional alcoholic." During my years of functional alcoholism I met the love of my life. A woman I will think of if I am fortunate to know I am dying. I learned in the conversation with my PCP who also treated my ex-wife, how torn up she was about my drinking. And that is why she left me.
Damn.
Well, onward and upward. But that hurt. When I get through detox I am going to give her a call and tell her how sorry I am. But I loved her, still do, and I always will.
But, I can power through this. I will. I cannot change the past. But I can affect my future.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
That's great....about the inpatient detox. You won't regret it. Soak up all they have to offer. If they have inpatient rehab and you can stay longer, do.
I'm sorry that you were surprised for the reason you wife left. I have seen many many alcoholics really believe that they are functional. But they aren't. The only person that doesn't see it is the alcoholic themselves. It hurts to know how much we hurt our loved ones for sure. Acknowledging that is important. But don't marinate in it. Process and let go. Do the next right thing, one day at a time.
I'm sorry that you were surprised for the reason you wife left. I have seen many many alcoholics really believe that they are functional. But they aren't. The only person that doesn't see it is the alcoholic themselves. It hurts to know how much we hurt our loved ones for sure. Acknowledging that is important. But don't marinate in it. Process and let go. Do the next right thing, one day at a time.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad to hear you are making the commitment to the inpatient program...5 days will be a small price to pay for a lifetime of freedom.
Sorry to hear about the other news, it is pretty heartbreaking the damage/wrekcage that our drinking leaves in it's wake. I did not lose my wife but even several years after quitting I learn of resentments/issues that she never told me. I think there is always some denial from our partners too as they don't know what to do and cannot make us change.
Sorry to hear about the other news, it is pretty heartbreaking the damage/wrekcage that our drinking leaves in it's wake. I did not lose my wife but even several years after quitting I learn of resentments/issues that she never told me. I think there is always some denial from our partners too as they don't know what to do and cannot make us change.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
