VirginiaWoof

This may seem a bit 'off-topic' but for me it feels 'on-topic' - but then it is me that is being affected directly by this. And I apologise it's a bit of a ramble.

I have a week off work this week. I work from home (sitting at a desk so it has been a struggle to turn my work PC off and keep it off!!) so it feels really strange.

I set aside this week for housework and gardening etc as all has slipped recently. Yes, drink is a factor but also work and studying has contributed.

Another factor is I have ME and CFS. I put it all down to thyroid problems until somebody frogmarched me to the doctor about 4 years ago and I had a barrage of tests. Anyway, it means I have to pace myself and I am only now beginning to recognise the signs that I need to stop what I am doing otherwise I could bring on an 'episode' and be flat on my back on the sofa (though it's amazing in an horrific way how many times I've almost crawled to the car to go and get a 'wine fix'!!).

Monday morning I did a bit of the front garden. Yesterday I sorted out my bedroom and got my case packed for our holiday and nagged my son into sorting his out last night! This morning I did another part of the garden. After about 45 mins I felt one of my 'signs' (sounds weird but it's a 'certain' twitch in my left bicep!). So, I gathered up my gloves, fork and other gardening paraphernalia and headed to the door.

Just before I opened a neighbour across the road called me over. She then made an observation about how I only ever do half a job and if I'm going to do it why don't I do it properly first time round and that I ought to be ashamed how untidy my garden looks etc etc.

I nearly explained to her about CFS, ME etc and how it affects me. But I just couldn't be bothered. There is enough publicity and advertising about 'invisible diseases' for any mature adult to 'get' that things aren't always what they look like. So I just shrugged, muttered and walked off.

So I've come in and made a up of tea (I am English after all!!) and am trying not to let it bother me. Firstly, because if I get stressed and already having had a warning sign it may be bring on an attack. And secondly because the wine-fairy will use it as something to whisper in my ear.

So, apologies for the ramble and moan. I thought it better to let off steam here - the other option is to call my mum but she is still of the 1980s mindset that ME is all in the mind (as an aside, it was originally nicknamed Yuppie flu and in the 1980s/1990s I worked for one of the 'main' Yuppie status symbols. One of our ladies was diagnosed with ME so joked about trade marking the name 'Yuppie flu') - than giving in to the 'whine -whisperer' and being back here tomorrow lamenting at being back on Day 1

Steely

Be good if you could tell her she had an untidy mouth. People never cease to amaze me...let it go, you're better than that and the wine whisperer tells lies, take a tip from one who tried.

SomeSortOfHuman

How sad for your neighbour that she has nothing better to think about. A messy house / garden is a sign of a life fully lived! Better to have spent your time studying something you're passionate about than keeping your lawn manicured. Well done for not letting the wine fairy use it as ammo. Enjoy your holiday!

Dee74

My Dad is the type who makes sure the grass is regulation height (and to be fair yards are held to a 'community standard' where he lives) but I could never do that - life is too short.

Not nowadays now I'm in a community of disabled people (and the gardening is contracted anyway) but I would sometimes get stuff like that in other houses - I'd just smile, turn on my heel and walk away.

D

VirginiaWoof

Ooooooo, that's just given me an idea. In our little cul-de-sac are 6 bungalows for people with disabilities (so we have a wet room rather than a bath and there is a handle by the toilet etc) and 2 'normal' houses.

I may give the housing association a ring and suggest to them that they consider offering a gardening service to those of us in the bungalows. I'd happily pay a slightly higher service charge to have one of their contractors come round once a month and give it a dig over.

Thank you for that!

Notimetoloose

Hi VW, Please don't let a neighbour get to you...it is okay, feel the impact the neighbour's comments had on you and move on to indifference...
CFS is finally getting some serious recognition with some hard science.!
I had CFS over 25 years ago, possibly triggered by Epstein-Barr virus. It took a few years to recover. Eating the really healthy food and supplements helped me immensely, I would take massive high doses of vitamin C and spirulina type stuff!, eventually, I felt a lot better.
Unfortunately, I developed a lot of autoimmune issues and now have rheumatoid arthritis, unmedicated. When I was drinking the RA flare ups were crippling.
Another thing that is I can not take is anti-depressants, I can't remember exactly why but it essentially comes down to the neurological landscape has changed due to the CFS.
I know quite a few people who have made complete recoveries back to full health, take care of yourself.