TheGhostInside

I've struggled with alcohol for the last 13 years. Unfortunately, I am a binger drinker and I black out the majority of the time I drink. It has now come to the point where every time I drink I go straight to my dealers house for cocaine. I had 6 months sober at the beginning of 2015 and have not been able to maintain anything over a month since then.

I'm on the waitlist for a couple different inpatient rehab facilities since I don't have insurance. I am white-knuckling it until then.

No one speaks to me anymore. Not my friends, not my sponsor. I have completely obliterated my support group through the course of my chaos and continued insanity.

I've been attending meetings on another side of town and I stay quiet because I don't have the energy to make friends who will eventually decide that I'm a hopeless case. I have never been to rehab before and I would like to rebuild my life and find out how it feels to not create a pile of wreckage all around me.

My sobriety date is the 18th of this month. Thanks for reading and I will continue to look at threads here.

doggonecarl

Welcome.

Your previous struggles to get sober don't have to be your current struggle. You have two days and you can build on that. If you are truly sick of your drinking and drugging you can change. Stick close to SR while you await word on your rehab.

january161992

i threw a chair twice at a meeting in my first year and put my hands on another man in anger

now theres been >6K meetings where i didnt throw a chair

some of us are sicker than others

the old timers told me to keep coming back

i did

now im telling you to keep coming back

God bless

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you theghostinside

Lightning Bug

Welcome! So glad you came out of lurking and posted. I hope you get into rehab. I went and it changed my life.

brynn

Welcome to the family TGI!

Dee74

You are very welcome here TGI

D

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum TheGhostInside!!