Has anyone actually been successful at "weaning" themselves?
 

***WARNING, LONG READ***

Newcomer here. I feel strange even typing this being that I've not verbally admitted my alcoholism to anyone, but I have no doubt that I am one. My family/friends know that I drink, how much I drink, etc. I don't hide it, but rather I boast about it as if it's one of the highlights of my personality. Ironically it is. I become a social butterfly when I drink. There are no angry outburts or crying jags. I'm happy and peppy, and friendly. I don't have Resting Bitch Face when I'm drinking. Everything is just FUN.

***Some basic info:

Stay-at-home mom to two (13 and 3 yo)

I've always been your standard social drinker. My drinking was only limited to girls night out (date night after I got married). However the quantities I drank when I did have a night out tended to be more than your average non-alcoholic female. I guess you could say I've always had a higher than normal tolerance. I started drinking about 3 nights a week somewhere around 4-5 years ago. Maybe 2 standard drinks per night (1-2 oz ea glass). Then I got pregnant, no longer drank at all, and came back full force after the birth of my son 3 years ago. It started with me being exhausted from having a newborn and virtually no sleep. But a few months after he was born I had my first drink again and I found it gave me so much temporary energy that I started having a few swigs in the evenings to keep me up and going, to get dinner cooked, house cleaned up, laundry done, etc. Fast forward a couple years and I was at somewhere around a pint per night.

***Currently:

I start drinking between 6pm-10pm EVERY night unless I'm sick. There are the rare occasions where I get "too late of a start" so I have 1 drink then go to sleep. I've always been a night owl so I go to bed usually around 1-2 am. So that's potentially 7ish hours of alcohol consumption. I take small sips and space them out over those hours. If I'm going out for the night then I drink double what I would if I were at home.

Jameson is my drink of choice, but I have had period where I switch to vodka for a couple months. I buy a fifth of Jameson and that will last me 2-3 days.

***Negative effects so far:***

-Weight gain due to the cals in liquor and also it gives me the late night munchies. Vodka doesn't have this same effect on me and I've been successful at dropping the extra lbs in the past when I switched to vodka.

-Sleep interruption.

-I started getting panic attacks/depression in 2014 which I currently still have. However I've been much improved in the last year although I drink MORE. I no longer have panic attacks really. And the depression is very mild stages that last maybe an hour. I don't know why I'm improving because I'm well aware that alcohol is a depressant, but I do feel better. I think the anxiety and depression was initially caused by an external factor that has now remedied itself somewhat. I do admit to myself though that I'd feel a hell of alot better a hell of alot faster if I put the liquor down.

- Losing all productivity "the day after" if I've gone out and drank double what I normally do. Lethargy and sleepiness, so I get absolutely nothing done that day. Luckily these are usually weekend days.

-Alcohol is ******* expensive. I'm drinking a car payment every month

***NON-Negative effects so far***

No I haven't hit rock bottom. Which is basically the reason for this excessively long post. Is it possible to wean oneself or am I just in denial?

Last night I was at that stage where I was feeling good, not too drunk, not that sloshy feeling of too much liquor in your belly. I was feeling like I was gearing up, all this energy, everything was right in the world, etc. But I knew that I had to start going to bed earlier to get my daughter to school on time in the a.m. (I am SOOOOO not a morning person). So even though I wasn't ready to stop drinking for the night I did anyway. I put the bottle away, did my standard munchie ritual (terrible I know), then chugged my 3 bottles of water and went to bed.

I was proud and a little surprised that I actually stopped "on time" this time. Usually when I feel good I just keep going when I know damn well I should be going to bed.

Wait, this is supposed to be the non-negative stuff. I digress.

Anyway, I have no physical health problems that I'm aware of.

My personal relationships have not been negatively affected by my drinking (yet). My husband and daughter actually prefer that I drink because I'm less OCD about things like towels being folded correctly and dishes loaded in the washer. In general I'm more easygoing when I'm drinking. He says I'm fun when I drink. My daughter says I'm "nicer".

So to date there hasn't been a significant loss in my quality of life. At least nothing I deem significant enough to curtail my drinking. If this sounds like I'm not ready to quit it's because I'm not. I recognize that I'm not ready, but I also recognize that it's a problem.

That being said, has anyone had experience with gradually weaning themselves? Maybe not from extreme alcoholism, but someone with experiences similar to mine?

Hi PoppyPiper - welcome :)

The safest way to detox is with a Drs supervision. There's simply no other way as safe.

Even tapering may be as dangerous as cold turkey if you're not sure what you're doing.

I could never taper because tapering meant controlling my intake of something I couldn't control my intake of.

D

Hello poppy and welcome to SR. I'm not that diffrent then you. Really "thought" my life was in order even though I knew I was an alcoholic. No DUis, same job for 15 years and married for thirty years. Everything seemed great. I tried every single day, and I really mean everyday to wean myself off, drink less, or stop drinking completely. It never worked and then I realized fourteen years had disappeared. I can not moderate in any fashion. With a small amount of sober time now I realize that my life really wasn't that great. I love being sober and the improvements I've found. So I guess you could say I did wean myself off of alcohol ....it just took fourteen years. I do not suggest my method. Good luck

This last time that I reached out for help, they told me I would have to do inpatient for a few days for detox. Well, I was super adamant about NOT doing that because of work, so I tapered down for about two weeks. I'd let myself drink to that point where I felt good, and then I would go to bed. The ONLY reason I even tapered down was because my fear of having to "check out" from my normal life very much outweighed anything else. Looking back now, don't see how I did it.

I went from 4 bottles a night straight to 2 for about 4 days then 1 for about 4 days then 1/2 bottle for 2 days. I only had shakes and a couple of hallucinations. It worked fine for me but I know it is not recommended. I ran out of money which is why I had to do it that way.

Welcome to the Forum PoppyPiper!! :wave:

Welcome PoppyPiper!

One- if you think that's long, you've never read some of my posts. Your post is about half the size of my normal posts. So you're fine.

Two- I didn't quite catch exactly how much you're drinking on a nightly basis or how exactly long you feel you've been dependent on it. It doesn't sound like it's so extreme that you're going to physically have a nightmare when you stop. Don't take that as unquestionable truth, though. Seriously, don't. That's my assessment based on almost nothing, but I don't know much about anything anymore. I could be extremely wrong. I am not a doctor. I am not giving you medical advice. Everyone's bodies are different. As others said, doctor's supervision is always the safest way to go.

That said, while most will poo poo the idea of tapering, I'd say it works, to a very specific extent. If you're serious about wanting to quit or are genuinely toying with that idea, give weaning a try. I found that it really helped put my mind at ease. It felt like I was in control, and it felt like I was being proactive about preventing any nasty WD symptoms I might have had. As I got lower and lower (though still drinking substantially), and I saw that my body wasn't reacting negatively, I just quit cold turkey. I never really got to the point where I had it down to one drink a day, because then it's just silly. I quit before that point.

Just make sure you don't extend the process out any longer than it needs to be. Then you're just asking for trouble and are making excuses to continue drinking. That's what I found, anyway. If you can eliminate a drink or two without issues (or skip a day or two), move on to eliminating another drink or two as quickly as possible (or skip more days). Then once you're drinking an insubstantial amount, just stop completely. The whole goal of weaning is to eventually go cold turkey. The caveat here is that I relapsed, and I'm only a few days sober at the point. This past time I didn't wean off, but the first time I quit and lasted for several months, I weaned to give myself a better state of mind, and it worked out well for me. If I would have been more proactive about my recovery, I'd probably had stayed sober.

You'll hear people say it's pointless and stupid, because it actually is. Either cold turkey or detox. Those really are the best options, depending on the state of your problem. But if it makes you feel safer and more calculated (like it did for me), by all means, go for it, as long as your goal is to get to cessation as quickly as possible. Not two months from now. Like, a week and a half at most. You seem intelligent, and it seems like you're the sort of person who could handle this. It sounds like it's not entirely out of your control yet.

If you have any serious WD symptoms at any point, obviously stop and go to a doctor immediately. If you start using "tapering" as an excuse to keep drinking, you need to recognize it's not working and try a different approach. I know what I'm saying will be seen as extremely questionable from others in the forum, but I'm speaking from experience as someone who wanted to quit early on in the process like you, before it got really bad.

I didn't really have any negative side effects other than weight gain and financial trouble, either. But after I started drinking again, it got worse. You're damaging your liver by drinking toxic poison every night. Your children should be your reason to stop. If you keep damaging your liver every single night, your days become more and more limited. Do it for the kids, as they say. Just like you did (I presume, without problems) when you were pregnant. Wish you the best of luck! Keep us updated!

I used to think everybody loved me when I was drunk too :(

Haven't had any success tapering here.

There are lots of us here who never had a DUI, or went to the ER, or got fired, or got evicted - but we are alcoholics all the same.

I personally could never "taper" because once I have that first drink it is game ON. That said, if you are serious you should do it under a Dr supervision.

My DOC (drink/drug of choice) was pinot noir, and sometimes my husband's high IPA beer. I would think Jameson might have a tremendous amount of sugar so that is the "energy" or kick you experience.

Everyone is different. Some of us can control our drinking, some of us can't. I tried for years to hold my alcohol consumption to a specific amount nightly, with absolutely no success. I had to just stop drinking completely. Good luck. Peace.

I was never successful at tapering because, like Dee said, that meant controlling something I couldn't control. It is easier and safer to get your doctor's help to get thru withdrawal.

For me it's much easier to not drink at all than it is to just have "one" or even "two". Once that first drink is down it's game on and I'm going to be stumbling around before too long!