Talk about evil forces....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 25
Talk about evil forces....
I just wrote a lengthy post about where I'm at, why I am where I'm at, and guess what? It didn't post. I included that God is with us and that GOOD will prevail! Apparently, I'm not very popular with the opposite because there's no reason my post wouldn't go through.
Do you in spiritual warfare when it comes to your attempts at triumph?
Do you in spiritual warfare when it comes to your attempts at triumph?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 25
I'm going to try and recap what I tried to post:
I drink because I don't want to face my reality. I have depression, anxiety, a cluttered home, all of which shuts me down. I've been to numerous therapists and the last one I really connected with suspended her career due to a family emergency. My husband connected with his therapist. That therapist died unexpectedly. Just when we have both tried to push forward, obstacles plant themselves in our way.
I'm not making excuses. I need help. I have a problem. That's why I'm here. I don't have a plan for sobriety, meaning I don't have it planned out. I want sobriety because I know I will have to face who I am, what I want. I don't know that anymore.
I appreciate all of you on your journeys, as I am on my own journey ��
I drink because I don't want to face my reality. I have depression, anxiety, a cluttered home, all of which shuts me down. I've been to numerous therapists and the last one I really connected with suspended her career due to a family emergency. My husband connected with his therapist. That therapist died unexpectedly. Just when we have both tried to push forward, obstacles plant themselves in our way.
I'm not making excuses. I need help. I have a problem. That's why I'm here. I don't have a plan for sobriety, meaning I don't have it planned out. I want sobriety because I know I will have to face who I am, what I want. I don't know that anymore.
I appreciate all of you on your journeys, as I am on my own journey ��
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry you lost your message Coweye, sometimes the internet does things we don't intend and i'd probably chalk it up to bugs or your computer vs true evil forces. If you have long messages you like to work on before posting, sometimes copying and pasting the text into a word processor or even writing it there can help.
Not sure what you mean by your second question...care to expand?
Edit - I see you replied at the exact same time that I did! I will respond by saying that I'm sorry you had the unexpected hurdles with the therapists. I deal with anxiety too and have seen a few different ones, I did find one that I like a lot more and it seems to be helping. That connection is crucial, I hope you can continue to seek a new one.
Your statement "I drink because I don't want to face reality" rings home, and I honestly think that's at the core of all of our addictions. We don't want to face the struggles of life, or even the celebrations without having alchol to "enhance" it or "take the edge off". The problem of course is that as alcoholics that never works, we continue to keep drinking well beyond any reasonable amount and it causes even more anxiety/depression/etc.
It's also important to remember that simply "not drinking" will most likely not solve any of the above problems. "Facing Reality" will - and it's a hard thing to do. But you have already seen that with the right tools and the right help ( the therapist you liked) - that things CAN improve.
I'd suggest that you keep posting here and reading a lot - also try and interact as most here have been through a lot of the same things you are going through now. Keep looking for a new therapist you can work with, and don't rule out trying to find a local sobriety group ( AA, life ring, Smart, ETC ) to work with. Face to face support can be very powerful.
Not sure what you mean by your second question...care to expand?
Edit - I see you replied at the exact same time that I did! I will respond by saying that I'm sorry you had the unexpected hurdles with the therapists. I deal with anxiety too and have seen a few different ones, I did find one that I like a lot more and it seems to be helping. That connection is crucial, I hope you can continue to seek a new one.
Your statement "I drink because I don't want to face reality" rings home, and I honestly think that's at the core of all of our addictions. We don't want to face the struggles of life, or even the celebrations without having alchol to "enhance" it or "take the edge off". The problem of course is that as alcoholics that never works, we continue to keep drinking well beyond any reasonable amount and it causes even more anxiety/depression/etc.
It's also important to remember that simply "not drinking" will most likely not solve any of the above problems. "Facing Reality" will - and it's a hard thing to do. But you have already seen that with the right tools and the right help ( the therapist you liked) - that things CAN improve.
I'd suggest that you keep posting here and reading a lot - also try and interact as most here have been through a lot of the same things you are going through now. Keep looking for a new therapist you can work with, and don't rule out trying to find a local sobriety group ( AA, life ring, Smart, ETC ) to work with. Face to face support can be very powerful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 25
Spiritual warfare
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Sorry you lost your message Coweye, sometimes the internet does things we don't intend and i'd probably chalk it up to bugs or your computer vs true evil forces. If you have long messages you like to work on before posting, sometimes copying and pasting the text into a word processor or even writing it there can help.
Not sure what you mean by your second question...care to expand?
Not sure what you mean by your second question...care to expand?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
hang in there and map out a plan of recovery and get to it, it takes a lot of hard work and you only have today so do not let the big picture overwhelm you. Do what you can today to change your life moving forward and please stay connected to SR for support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Coweye
I know the feeling of 'the world or God or whatever is against me'. But I also know that my addiction really likes me to believe that. It makes me feel the victim of some unknown force...which keeps me in my disease.
Technology just has glitches, period. I have had many a post disappear. The answer? Write the post in Word, save it, then copy and paste the message here. If it disappears, you have a back up.
Spiritual warfare, for me, are the wars I fight with my addiction. Wars I will lose if I don't surrender and accept that I cannot drink. Period. My addiction destroy's my connection with my higher power and brings only darkness. My recovery plan connects me with my true self, others who have walked in my shoes and opens a clear line of communication with the spirit. My addiction hates that and tries to fight. But with a strong daily commitment to recovery, I prevail...at least I have so far today
Some people may be able to recover on their own, without a plan. But it has been my experience that a plan, a pretty comprehensive one, is necessary. More importantly, a program. A true program. Doesn't mean I'll be farting sparkles all the time or that some shiny path will appear that I walk to spiritual enlightenment, it takes commitment and work. Do the next right thing. Don't drink. If treatment is needed, seek it. Clutter? Just start with one room at a time.
I know the feeling of 'the world or God or whatever is against me'. But I also know that my addiction really likes me to believe that. It makes me feel the victim of some unknown force...which keeps me in my disease.
Technology just has glitches, period. I have had many a post disappear. The answer? Write the post in Word, save it, then copy and paste the message here. If it disappears, you have a back up.
Spiritual warfare, for me, are the wars I fight with my addiction. Wars I will lose if I don't surrender and accept that I cannot drink. Period. My addiction destroy's my connection with my higher power and brings only darkness. My recovery plan connects me with my true self, others who have walked in my shoes and opens a clear line of communication with the spirit. My addiction hates that and tries to fight. But with a strong daily commitment to recovery, I prevail...at least I have so far today
Some people may be able to recover on their own, without a plan. But it has been my experience that a plan, a pretty comprehensive one, is necessary. More importantly, a program. A true program. Doesn't mean I'll be farting sparkles all the time or that some shiny path will appear that I walk to spiritual enlightenment, it takes commitment and work. Do the next right thing. Don't drink. If treatment is needed, seek it. Clutter? Just start with one room at a time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
