Calicofish

I am wondering how many of us were (or are) secret drinkers? I wasn't always one, but towards the end of my drinking I became one. It started with buying an extra bottle of wine, so that when my ex and I shared a bottle, I'd have more. Then this progressed to where I was hiding a bottle in various places around the house and drinking out of a coffee cup (this was wine). I never did the vodka thing. I'd use a dark coffee cup if I was drinking red wine. I'd make a pot of tea, and try to pretend I was drinking tea, when I was drinking wine.

I'd sneak bottles into the house, or buy them long before my ex came home. Of course, I'd also have to replace bottles in the wine rack to make it look like I'd not touched them.

When I left my ex, I no longer had to hide booze and that's when the flood gates broke. That last year of drinking almost killed me.

Just wondering how many others were secret drinkers?

CF

Zanna

I thought I was, but in truth love, no-one ever really 'gets away with it'.
We change, however tiny that change is - perhaps laughing too soon, or having a sudden desire to put out the trash or whatever - we change and those around us, DO know.
I thought I was being 'clever' one time, by hiding half a bottle of voddie in the toilet cistern - my son (15) soon found that - the toilet wouldn't flush! I thought I was being clever It doesn't work, it's yet another illusion, that we want to believe does x

least

I thought I was a secret drinker, but my daughter knew I was drinking every time. I hid bottles in my den. Had a space that would fit four bottles of wine. After I got sober, I showed her where I used to hide my bottles. It's such a relief to no longer have to hide and lie.

soberclover

Hiding my drink was just one of the many secrets I had in my life when I was actively drinking. I'm glad I've made the choice to not live that life now.

dwtbd

I could obviously never hide the fact of my drinking, but I certainly tried to hide the true extent. I'd typically get home from work before my wife and and drink 4-6 beers in about an hour , so the rest of the evening I could maintain the buzz til she fell asleep , and then the reins would come off.
I had a self imposed rule ,No bourbon until everyone was asleep and followed that , until I didn't, never imposed the No bourbon in the am one, never thought I'd need it, turns out I did, that just crept in seemingly unnoticed, it's hard almost to put into words how much I never want to return that. Best news is I Don't Have To ever return to that . It's a little over three years now, and I am still in love the idea of not drinking again, Ever

August252015

Yep, yep, yep. In every way you mentioned and plenty more. Often discovered, sometimes not. Whether the actual products were found, looking back, people knew. Many just did not comment (at least to me). Living honestly and openly- anyone can look in my cabinets, fridge, under bathroom sink, in a suitcase, under mattress, whatever....my bf can look in my phone (and I his) and not see texts about night before drinking, or anything I would hide...openness and honesty are just two of the ways my lifestyle now is so, so (SO) much better.

butcher70

I was an open drinker than a closet drinker. I would hide beer all over. Different rural areas. I would buy Na beer and remove contents and refill and cap them with high octane beer. Do not miss that mess one bit.

snowboarder300

I guess you could call me the "pretend secret drinker"...I tried to hide it, but the problem is that I would get so massively drunk and pass out that everyone knew I was drinking. I hid bottles anywhere I could...under the house, in the spare tire boot of my car, pints in the toilet tank, I would pull out the bottom drawer of my dresser and hide my bottles between the drawer and the floor, in pockets of jackets hanging in the closet, Ive poured booze in "other" bottles, including washed out cleaner bottles like chlorox bottles, hid them in my suitcase when I wasn't traveling, inside of rarely used appliances, I could even carry two pints tucked under my waistband on either side, depending on what I was wearing, between my waist and under a loose t-shirt. Happy to say I am almost a year sober now this October. I now use those hiding places to hide gifts for my wife LOL except for the toilet LOL

noneever

My 'thing' was to drink when I was alone, most of the time. There were a couple of occassions though, when I was married, that I'd hide empty bottles in cupboards or the dishwater until I could sneak them out to the bin.

wehav2day

Oh honey, was I ever!

I hid wine in the basement. I carried around a backpack with wine in it. I hid wine in piles of crap in my car.

I did do the vodka thing at the end. I didn't even like vodka. But it was easy to hide those little bottles. In my pocket. I coukd have booze on me at all times and nobody ever found out.

The part that really bothered me (but didn't stop me), is that in my efforts to conceal my drinking I didn't recycle. My whole life is about education and conservation, yet I threw a LOT of empties in the garbage. That complete cognitive dissonance really bothered me.

But of course I wasn't fooling those close to me that I was drinking. They could see it in my eyes before I even opened my mouth. So I could conceal the drinking, but not that I was a drunk

Anna

I tried to be a secret drinker and was for awhile, but eventually people know. I actually got caught up in the adrenaline rush of sneaking alcohol into the house, that sort of thing. That adrenaline rush made it harder to stop drinking because I had to give that up too.

Gr8ful22

Oh yeah. For two years I drank secretly, I wouldn't even drink in the social scene, told everyone I didn't drink, I would even serve as the DD. Within minutes of getting home I would be chugging vodka till blackout.

PurpleKnight

All that energy, the planning, the effort, the motivation that we put into our drinking . . . if we are able it harness that now in Sobriety . . .

. . . just imagine what mountains we could move!!

MIRecovery

I'd hide my vodka so well even I had problems finding it. There were so many empties that I was never sure whether I had finished it off the night before or I just hadn't found the one that still had booze in it. For 2 years after I still kept find empties and that was after a very thorough search to make sure there was no booze in the house

Delizadee

Imagine all the places you can stash empties on a 7 acre farm with a huge house and 5 big outbuildings surrounded by prairies and bush.

It took me a year to return all my empties (and I used all the money to buy more booze, usually) as we were only allowed to return up to $75 per week.

The last couple years I couldn't drink in front of anybody. No matter how little a relapse was or if it was just carrying on in a mild way. I didn't care so much if anybody knew, but I could not get over the compulsion to hide it.
I hid my stashes and empties anywhere and everywhere.

Notimetoloose

I did the coffee cup thing, particularly before 5 in the afternoon, especially if people or family was around, I could not have others judging me!.
Towards the end of my drinking when I had started having drinks in the morning, I did the coffee cup thing and there was no one around!!...
....was I trying to hide it from myself?, the reality and shame...oh the madness of it all!

Hevyn

How about a diet pepsi can with mostly vodka & just a tiny bit of soda? (On my desk at work.) Or a hairspray bottle carried in purse filled with vodka & water. I'd pretend to have just a few beers at night with my husband - when really our guest room closet was filled with my serious stash. I'd be all civilized in the living room - then dash back to the guest room & guzzle as much as I could. Hard to believe I somehow justified that behavior.

LadyBlue0527

There's a cooler on my front porch. Id come out to smoke and guzzle a beer then head back in. This is so I could sip. the beer I had going in the house . So glad those days are over.

GnikNus

Coffee cup trick, check. Guzzling in the other room/outside, check. No way to live.

Delizadee

Oh yep. Coffee mug and aluminum water bottle. Filled with iced tea vodka coolers. At work. In the car. Around other people. Oh the madness.
And yes, dashing into the closet to chug a whole drink.

I even went so far as to buy a set of two sun-tan lotion bottles that are meant to fill with liquor as a gag. But I used them. Often. Especially travelling. Straight up vodka.

And, "oh wait, I forgot something in my van" (who's looking, where are the cameras? etc chug chug)