overforty

I'm so ashamed of myself for letting myself get back to this dark place again!
I blacked out last night and in trying to put what I did back together.
I humiliated myself
I went out naked in just a coat and had sex with a man I hardly know!
I don't remember how I got there or if anyone else saw me!
Or what I did in a public place
It has to stop before I kill myself

Mags1

Hi overforty.

The good news is......it can stop....this will never happen again...if you don't want it to.

I woke up many times not knowing what happened the night before and how I got home, full or remorse and regret. That is all behind me now.

It can be for you., too! You may want to have a plan if you want to stop...there are many people with experience and advice on gaining the tools to stop and keep sober.

All the best.

MissPerfumado

Hey there, overforty. We have all done things we regret, some very shocking and upsetting things, so you are certainly not alone.

But you are right. What you did was very risky, on many different levels. We women have to realise that with excessive drinking we can end up in dangerous situations.

You have to pull yourself together. Make a plan for what you need to do immediately. If there is any alcohol in the house, get rid of it. Then decide whether you need to see a doctor about last night.

While you are at it, consider telling your doctor about your drinking too. It might be a good idea if you need the professional medical help to stop.

This can absolutely be the last time you end up in a situation like this.

Pull yourself together now. You can learn from this and never have to feel like this again.

Darwinia

Be kind to yourself and just do not drink. Last night will fade away and now and tomorrow you can control. Best of luck.

Trees39

Oh overforty, please don't feel bad. It's over and you are safe.
Do the necessary with medical checks etc and try and detach from what has happened.
Super massive hugs to you.

Time2Rise

I'm pretty sure all problem drinkers have done extremely embarrassing things. I know I have. So you're not alone in that regard.

Make this your turning point. Do whatever it takes to stay sober. I personally had to make some significant changes to stay sober, and I'm glad I did.

If you need help, seek it out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe you can't see it right now but it's there; just keep moving in the right direction.

Dee74

I'm just glad to see you back safe overforty.

It's never ever too late to become the person you were meant to be

D

Soberwolf

Good to see you back

Lightning Bug

Hi there. Treat your body gently today, but be firm on your mind. You can't change what happened last night (please see a doc about possible STDS/pregnancy) but you can change so that it never happens again.

MIRecovery

The questions you need to ask yourself are:

• Am I ready to get off the merry go round from hell?
• Am I willing to do anything to get better
• Do I believe in my heart I will never be able to drink like other people?
• Am I willing to walk away from my drinking life and build a new life?
• Do I accept that I can't do this on my own and need the help of others?
• Am I willing to make a 100% commitment to my recovery?

If you answered yes and more importantly do the list above you have a very good chance to live the wonderful life of recovery that is out there just waiting to be grabbed

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Overforty!!

Anna

I'm sorry you are going through this. Blackouts are terribly scary and they are very dangerous, especially for women.

But, breathe and focus on recovery. You never have to go through this again.

overforty

Thankyou for your kind words
They mean a lot today as I'm having the usual hangover anxiety coupled with intense loneliness
I can't do this to myself anymore - I can't drink in moderation and I'm drinking every day again
So I'm starting day 1 again x

doggonecarl

Great. I hope you can embrace sobriety this time. You weren't happy the last go around. Being sober and miserable isn't good. And drinking doesn't seem to be making you happy. There is a third choice, and it's called recovery, and it means learning to live and love life without alcohol.

Hevyn

Overforty - I did out of character things every time I drank. I had to stop or something horrible was going to happen. It sounds like you're realizing there is no longer any control, and you're in danger. You can get free.

Elle126

Hi over40, as a woman over 40 myself I have had more than my fair share of blackouts and embarrassing moments and having been in the rooms of AA for a while I have heard many disturbing and distressing stories about how low this illness can take us, to the very places that blacken our soul. The thought of being a single woman out and about in blackout absolutely terrifies me and is one of the things that keeps me sober. What happened to you last night was a lucky escape, worse things could have happened , they call them the yets, just get yourself checked out and then move on in recovery. What a joy, you NEVER have to go back there!
I was looking at your previous posts when you had a period of sobriety, I really admire your honesty you put it all out there but you did seem to struggle with the loneliness of sobriety, insane eh? We waste so much time comatose and then get bored with all the living time sober.... What can you do this time to make it work? Do you have a recovery plan this time? Will you look into new activities? Have you considered SMART recovery, I know you said last time that you're not interested in AA but honestly, without AA I would not be sober as the loneliness would have taken me back to the bottle. Just a suggestion. At the end of the day sweetie, you can be shame filled and unhappy whilst drinking whilst totally destroying your mind and body or you can choose to change.
I know what I and everyone on this forum wish for you and I believe you can do this. Once strong healthy and sober you will be amazed at all of the opportunities that could open up for you.
Blessings. Elle

Algorithm

Do you believe that this is possible for you, overforty?

You do know that it is possible, right?

I believe it, even if you do not.

What have you tried thus far?

Julia8

Hugs to you - you are not alone - best wishes - take care of yourself! <3<3<3

kittycat3

I too believe you can quit if you want to.

Hey, I've been there too, acted boldly and had intimate encounters with men I would never have been with in a sober state.

Make this your bottom - this can be the last time and a turning point!

Delilah1

Hi Overforty,

I am glad you are back today. I know you can do this. If you are planning on seeing your doctor to have yourself checked out it would be good to also talk about your alcohol use. Your doctor can help you get started on your recovery.

Check in and let us know how you are doing.

❤️ Delilah