kinzoku

Did any of you find yourself becoming a workaholic in recovery?

Is this a bad thing?

PennyLane76

No, I wish though! If you enjoy it, not a bad thing

Mattq2

During the first month or so I did what ever I could to stay sober. I think work is a positive thing and way better then drinking. All the strange things I did in the beginning are starting to level out now. Good luck

EndGameNYC

It depends. I've been and usually am pretty happy doing whatever it is I'm doing when I'm sober, especially when it comes to my work. I've been very fortunate to have been given opportunities to do great work, although great was not always what it was.

At the same time, I sacrificed other things in life because I got overly involved in my work, and so there are some things that I regret having not made the time for, not experienced. But the same can probably be said at any given point in a person's life.

The word 'decide' has an interesting etymology, suggesting that a "decision" is killing off (or cutting off, as the word 'decision' shares a similar etymology to 'incision', a literal "cutting") a range of other options by virtue of acting on whatever it is that we've decided to do, and then goes a long way in determining what happens next. The fallacy of the predetermined outcome assumes that if I had done one thing instead of another, then my life would have been much better or worse than it currently is. This course of reasoning is used at an alarming rate, even though there is absolutely no way of acquiring proof that a given, alternate outcome would have occurred had I taken a different course of action from the one I did. (I went a little off course there, but etymology is a thing with me. It unlocks a lot of secrets.)

Virtually any behavior becomes an addiction when it becomes both compulsive and has serious adverse effects in important areas of functioning, like in love and work, in relationships generally, and to the extent that our behaviors bring harm and/or suffering to other people. Add to that an inability or refusal to stop the behavior despite unwanted consequences.

But we can always make convincing arguments that because I did or continue to do one thing, then I necessarily did not do or pay much attention to something else. So I defer to the Ancient Greeks: Balance is everything. This includes both the amount of thinking that we do and the quality of that which we are thinking about, not all of which is under our conscious control. Just ask anyone who suffers from obsessive thoughts or obsessive thinking generally.

It seems to me that a balanced life comes from a balanced character and a balanced perspective, neither of which are given to us at birth or at any other time afterwards. Temperament, which is thought to be more or less hard-wired and therefore resistant to change in and of itself, also plays an important role.

I've been around for awhile, and I've seen and done a lot. These days, I just enjoy whatever it is that I'm doing, to the extent that this is possible, and I leave worrying to those who like to worry.

CajunPrincess

Personally I did not... try to be there as little as I have to be haha. But the first couple weeks of sobriety I definitely considered working a lot of OT because with my job, there's always tons of opportunities for OT. Ended up just sleeping a lot instead.

Dee74

I'm certainly way more productive than I was a a drinker, but there have been times in my recovery where I worked too hard and my health (physical or mental) has suffered as a result.

I've learned a lot about letting go of outcomes, delegating tasks to others, and not trying to solve things that aren't my problem.

As End Game said, I think a rich and happy life is one that's in balance... and that applies to a work/play dichotomy as much as anything else

D

MissPerfumado

Workaholism was a problem for me for years. It exacerbated my heavy drinking. My life was out of balance. All I did was work, drink, sleep, wake, work, repeat.

Now I have been sober a few months I see the patterns re-emerging (staying back at the office until every single thing on the "list" is crossed off, checking work emails constantly, feeling anxious until I've managed to respond to work emails etc). I see those things and know I need to step back. I return to exercise and yoga, force myself to leave the office and so on.

For me it is NOT a good thing at all. I know what it is to take pride in my work and compulsive working is a completely different beast.

Berrybean

I think that when I was not working a recovery plan properly then my alcoholism came out sideways. Not in regards to work for me, but the transferral pattern was the same. And similarly unhealthy. After all, to do something addictively means taking something that in moderation would be harmless (or possibly even hood for us) and doing it so such excess that it becomes damaging (socially, physically or mentally damaging). Work addiction can be socially and mentally damaging. People are likely to exhaust themselves, or set massive expectations (likely to be unrealistic or unsustainable ) on themself. What do you think an alcoholic is most likely to reach for if they crash and burn? (Remember HALT?)

To me, Addictive behaviour is just acting out with a different coat on. If i find myself acting out (or fantasising about, or mentally planning some acting out), I take it as a warning that I need up my recovery game.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

blueberry2015

Not necessarily a workoholic, but my job is quite phyiscal and also a degree of pressure which ive discovered I actually thrive under pressure..... That was a revelation in itself, before Id drink more after a busy day, now I love it

Darwinia

Great explanation up there EndgameNYC. Really enjoyed reading that.

MelindaFlowers

Not a workaholic but I'm more present, engaged, and calm. When I was hungover every day I felt on the verge of exploding every day.

Lightning Bug

I was already one. I find myself actually easing up on it.

August252015

^^This! I was simply FRANTIC so much of the time- mentally, even if I didn't seem it physically to others. But I bet I did, in both ways, if I look back honestly.

Like Dee, I have to balance work and health/peace. I'm a server and have excellent people skills but it is sometimes draining (as the Fort Febs hear me say!).

I find myself really needing to balance a full and productive life, which includes work 5 to sometimes 7 days a week, with the other things in my life. Rest, and tending to my relationships which both can mean asking of off specific days/times. Learning to be OK with NOT working- now that I can, and do it well - has taken practice, as well.

Most of the time, I am grateful (and sometimes have to remind myself I am!!) that I have a lot on my plate now. Chick-Fil-A was my first job in recovery and I keep one shift a week there to remind me of all the blessings that have come to me, here on the eve of 7mo sober.

Soberwolf

I wouldn't say it's bad but balance is important

Aellyce

I think definitely not as bad as alcoholism, but I would keep an eye on it. I always had a tendency to overwork since I found a career I really liked in my early 20's. I ended up working really crazy hours and shifts (totally voluntarily) and then started using alcohol to regulate my sleep. That was how my alcohol dependence developed in my 30's. And then I seriously neglected my work for a while...

Now as a sober person, I no longer experience that obsessive drive at most times about work but I need to pay attention to living a balanced life with diverse activities. I feel much calmer and there is no way I would go back to that crazy schedule I kept when younger. I also find this much more rewarding than always chasing some sort of high and working in manic-like ways.

thomas11

Great question. I would say I worked harder when I drank because I was a reward drinker, so I'd even work half days on Saturday. Things are different now, I have balance in my life, and yet like Dee, I feel more productive. I don't leave loose ends hanging out there. The main reason is I never feel like crap and put things off.

kinzoku

Very interesting and valuable responses. I find I'm a little the opposite of some of you, and maybe this has nothing to do with recovery I'm not sure. But I've amped up gradually from being a slug in early recovery to working my absolute butt off these days. Its kind of like my body and mind have opened up for me to use them after so many years of being dormant.

I agree with Dee, that work life balance is important. But easier said than done.

EndGameNYC

Once I started to feel alive again -- and this took a very long time -- I found that I often became restless. So I needed to do something different. For a time, I wanted to do everything, meaning that I wanted to do things I stopped doing or things that I'd never done before. And that's what I did.

But activity should not be confused with progress. I learned over time to prioritize the things I was doing or wanted to do. In some ways, and being who I am, I had no choice but to do so. Part of that was taking time to rest, to relax, or to do nothing at all. This part was difficult at first, since I did virtually nothing at all while I was drinking. So powerful was my inactivity and my apparent indifference while I was drinking, that I managed to destroy everything that was good in my life while I labored to do nothing at all. Besides drink.

Dee74

It was actually easier than I thought, to be honest K.

When I took out all the jobs I was doing cos 'I may as well do it myself and have it done properly';

or the jobs I did cos no one else was doing them;

or the jobs where I wouldn't let go until everything was unimpeachably perfect....

I found I had a lot more free time

D

Optimini

I wish I could become obsessed with cleaning again. 5 weeks sober and it hasn't happened yet.