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So I realize I am woefully inept at dealing with my AH even though I've been dealing with his drinking for about 15 years! He IMHO is in end stage. He will go for long periods of either not drinking or maitaining a buzz so you don't know he is drinking. Then have a relapse to constant angry drinking binges lasting days. He was even keeled from Jan'16 to June'16. Prior to that he had been cycling a bad week followed by a good month and then two bad weeks followed by two good moths. Foolish me thought that the good stretches were longer it must be progress in general. Haha. So he has been drunk 5-6 days a week since June. He doesnt think he has an alcohol addiction. He validates his drinking by saying "something made him snap". Usually something I did or said, but occasionally he'll blame DS. For years there has been no alcohol in the fridge and the alcohol that is visible in cabinets is never touched. He just magically gets drunk! it makes him very unpredictable. I guess my question is since the sober/maintaining periods are getting longer but so are the binges between is there a predictable ratio? Like he was an angry drunk for 3 months then evened out for 5 months. How much longer will this binge last. When will he start having medical reprecussions? He was on highBP meds and has diabetes. When I pointed out how taxed his liver must be he stopped the meds, not the drinking! LOL!!! But no he isnt addicted.(sarcasm font) So I am trying to figure out how to leave him without ruining my sons senior year of HS. My son and I are starting counseling together hoping AH will join us when he is ready. But trying to prepare my DS for our departure. Thoughts/suggestions welcome.

Hi Bitingthebullet x

Hi Bitingthebullet.
Welcome to SR

If you post in the Friends and family section more people will respond.
To me it sounds as if you are on the right track - looking after you and your DS.

Thanks Treer66. I posted there can I delete it here

Hi Bitingthe bullet

The Family and Friends section Treerat mentions is great but you're actually very welcome to post here in Newcomers forum too, because you are a newcomer :)

I can only speak about myself. I was not aware of any pattern or mathematical ratio to my binging....I would go on a bender for anything from 3 days to, once, two years.


I'm sorry for what brings you here, but I know you'll find a lot of support, and good ideas :)

I'm glad you're thinking about the future for yourself and your children.

D

Welcome BitingTheBullet, I was not a binge drinker but I can relate about keeping a buzz to make it appear that I wasn't drinking.

My family has been attending AlAnon meetings and said that they have been a big help.

Good morning and welcome!

I am an alcoholic but before my alcoholism reared its ugly head I was the mother of two children with the illness. I actually began using alcohol as a way to cope with the worry, fear, frustration of dealing with their progressively worse condition. One of the things I think I did as family member is to try to control the use and associated behaviors. Of course I did this out of love for them, if I could just figure out how to orchestrate change, if I could just find the key to their patterns or how best to fix the situations....All would be well, our family would be fixed! In the process, I know I drove myself bat sh** crazy and everyone else too! Oh, its such an exhausting endeavor and one that I dont think I ever saw positive results from. By the time I finally started to attend support groups I was mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted,
The groups ( I attend Naranon) were very helpful, not in figuring out my addicts but in giving me tons of support, and I continue attending today.
I would urge you to get some help and support from resources here and other online places or locate support groups in your area. They have ben invaluable in helping me to grow in that area but also in offering support for me when some life changing crisis struck in my life.

Welcome here to SR! You dont have to leave the New comers area, you can continue to hang out here with us while still checking out the friends and family area as well!!

Best wishes for healing for you and your family!

Welcome to the Forum BitingTheBullet!! :wave: