countrysidegirl

Had eight days , then 7, two agonizing days of anxiety , cravings , I succumbed when collected wages from farmer and as it was my birthday got drunk on five pints fosters and two litres strong bow , my bpd hit the roof , the demons came out and I self harmed, not done that in nearly two years so boxing and swimming on hold now....just got to get a grip and get through this hell as I'm day one again and have to go through the jitters all over again .....

Lightning Bug

Did you call your doctor and tell him about the return of self harming behavior? Maybe it would be good to make an appointment with him?

Mountainmanbob

Yes, I also had a few of those (I hate that). Sounds like you know about country life -- get back on that sober horse and ride steady.

M-Bob

countrysidegirl

Yes we all have demons' going to try harder , mental health team out tomorrow and I'm going on a mindfulness course in October , the drinking is just a small part of thr bigger picture but it's damn destructive

Julia8

Best wishes to you.

Soberwolf

Stick with us x

Hawkeye13

tate9685

Country, I've never self harmed sober but I kicked the s--t out of myself when I drank. I damaged my liver, kidneys, brain, heart, self-esteem, soul and pocketbook. I also dragged all those who cared about me through hell with me. Dual diagnosis myself. Anxiety/depression and Alcoholic. I need help and support for both. I agree with others to get that mental health treatment going and then you will have success with beating the disease of alcoholism.

Dee74

Hi countryside girl - welcome back.

Maybe the solution is not so much 'try harder' but instead revising your recovery plan?

If your current plan isn't really working for you, why not junk it and start again?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

Hevyn

Countryside - you came back to start again, that's what counts. I had a few setbacks early on - but each time I grew stronger and more determined. I finally got free for good. You can too.

countrysidegirl

Thanks guys your support means a lot, yes mental health getting looked at as the alcohol and bpd play cat and mouse......here goes day two....again...

Dee74

I really think those of us with multiple issues need to tackle both things countrysidegirl. If you have, for example, BPD, or depression or (like me) physical pain issues then they need to be looked at along with the alcoholism.

Only addressing one thing means we're essentially fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

Give yourself a fighting chance

D

countrysidegirl

THANKS dee , yes I have bpd and bipolar, the bpd stems from childhood sexual abuse and physical abuse and I had the diagnoses in 2010, i'm tacking both issues but as always it can be incredibly draining but I have many positives which I need to focus on more like my son , partner , job and fitness as i'm involved in a swimming and boxing club , I will come on here everyday as that will help and I have been more honest with the mental health , your right we have to tackle all our issues or else your right we are fighting a never ending battle