PurpleKnight

It's a tough one Applejack!!

My dad drank himself to death, and there was no talking to him, confronting him, he didn't admit he even had a problem and said nothing to that effect as he was slipping away with each passing day.

So the lengths someone will go are long even to the point of self destruction, unless someone wants to change, even a blood relative, well having been there, as much as I never wanted to believe it either, it was a lost cause unless my dad admitted he had an addiction, but even then he would have needed to want to do something about it.

Looking in on someone else's addiction can be a very lonely and frustrating place to be, so my best advice is get yourself some support, SR is a great place for that and Al-Anon has already been mentioned, which I also recommend.

Hang in there!!

blueberry2015

There is nothing you can do to help your mother in law unless she wants to help herself. Sad fact but true. X x x

Maudcat

Closet. Under my workout clothes. Ironic, no?

Berrybean

How did you hide your drink problem?

I went for the camouflage option and hung out exclusively with other people who drank like me (or at least I told myself they did). This meant that I kind of neglected my family, and missed out on some other lovely friendships.

billdolfski

I've never been in denial about it or hid it. The only thing I've ever really done that I would consider hiding it is tone it down around when I'm around my mother just because she doesn't need to see the actual amount I consume.

PennyLane76

How about a sincere offer to listen or support if/when she decides to quit drinking. Maybe leave it at that? Sleuthing around won't do either of you any favors, IMO only.

billdolfski

I'm also in the school of thought that doing detective work won't help.

I've always found it best to be able to stay close to someone, then they'll reach out for you when they want help instead of running the risk of pushing them away.

kittycat3

The biggest way I "hid" my drinking were the lies I told others after a night where I was out of control. "I skipped dinner", "I never drink hard alcohol", "I haven't been sleeping well," "I've never been that drunk", or my personal favorite, "I must have been drugged."

I also lied about hangovers and was never honest with others about how often I was going out. I live alone so this wasn't too hard to do.

Camery03

Initially when I read this post-- I too like some others thought it was how and where we hid our drinking. I had every trick-- bedroom closets, washer, dryer, and eventually the bathroom. That was the easiest. While in the bathroom, I would add the vodka to my glass of "water" I carried with me everywhere. One day my friend came over and must have been on to me when I was stashing it in the laundry room-- he was like "what is with all the vodka bottles in the washer?" Busted!
But as to your question--- I would have to agree with the others. Until your MIL realizes she has a drinking problem she wont quit, and even if she does, it has to be her choice to quit. My family told me time and time again they were concerned and worried about my drinking and it just made me drink more. It wasn't until I wanted to quit that I quit.

dcg

Agree with this. She's and adult; you're an adult. Searching for hidden bottles and confronting her seems like a poor way to handle this, especially with in-laws, imo.