MIRecovery

For years in AA I compared myself to people. They drank more or less, they were younger they were older, they were educated or not, they were gay they were straight, I'd never been in jail they had, the comparisons went on and on and they gave me an excuse to drink because I wasn't like those people.

I was right I was fundamentally different. They were sober, happy, joyous and free but I was none of those things. They were doing something I had found impossible. Before you compare yourself ask do they have what I want? That is the only comparison that makes a difference

PurpleKnight

I spent a lifetime comparing myself to others, and all it brought was misery and drinking myself into oblivion, that all changed when I started to live life on my terms!!

Great post MIR!!

Ghostlight1

I got sober in a room full of people a different color than me.
I felt I had found a home. We were all so very different in so many ways, but I wanted what they had and they were willing to give it to me freely and unconditionally.
I live in a different city now, but I still often think of those people. Race didn't matter to them and it didn't to me. They helped this drunk get sober.
We had one fundamentally thing in common, our affliction with drink.
I miss them. I thank them for accepting me. And most of all, I thank them help save my life.

2muchpain

I think one of the strengths of AA is that people come from all walks of life Their experiences are different so their wisdom is different if that makes sense. I remember a guy that had put some time in prison and was due to go back because of a past mistake he made. I really enjoyed listening to this guy. I was able to connect with a lot of what he said. You just never know where those words of wisdom are going to come from. John

tomsteve

i used to compare, especially one old fart in particular. yeah, he said some good stuff, but he was in his late 60's and i was in my mid 30's- what did he know?
then his anniversary came up. he got sober at 33. i was 36.
huh!!!
suddenly i related.
and he became my sponsor.

Soberwolf

Thanks Mir

Nonsensical

Yup, I sat there looking for the contrast.

I'm not like them because...

If I had been paying attention I might have realized they were speaking my language. We were from the same place. They were my tribe.

Great post MIR.

MLD51

I compared BEFORE I went to AA and treatment. Once I got there, I realized quickly I'd miss out on a lot of wisdom if I kept thinking I was different. In treatment, I became good friends with a young woman, 20 years younger than me, who was a heroin addict. Never in a million years would I have gotten to know her and become friends with her if I judged her for being somehow "worse" than me. She and I had a lot of the same struggles with self-esteem, guilt, and shame. We connected on that level. And that just keeps happening, the more time I spend in the rooms. Doesn't matter the age, gender, DOC, time in sobriety, legal record, etc... we are all there for the same reasons and can learn a lot from each other and support each other. That's what it's all about.

hpdw

Appreciate your wisdom Mir . I used to compare myself with the guys drinking on the street bench in my village but I was walking past them with probably more booze in my bag and the only difference was I was going to do it in private , a **** pot no less .

MIRecovery

I love the line, "An alcoholic who is laying face down in a gutter is still capable of looking down on some one else."