I usually drink a full cast of win a day red wine dalco 9. something percent
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by thomas11 
My only comment is that it sounds like a lot of damn work. Wouldn't it be much easier to eliminate such a rigorous schedule from your life completely? Not to mention safer and healthier?
W.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
P.S. How do the benzos and the booze mix with the Forex trading? When you try to beat the market does it help to be drunk and/or stoned? I gather there's been a lot of manipulation on the Forex recently. I really enjoyed (?) that "Rogue Trader" movie about the Barings Bank guy. Also the one called "Boiler Room" and of course "Wall Street" (greed is good!). Had some heart surgery recently and was thankful that the nurses and doctors weren't spaced out. But I couldn't really tell since they had me spaced out on propanol. Do the Aussie aborigines get spaced out when they play their didgeridoos and whirl their "bull roarers"?
W.
W.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 5
Hey
Originally Posted by turnedtobenzos
Now I have turned to benzos, and because my mother is a loving mother has forced me to not drink at nor before 2:20pm so i'm in australia and already had a couple.
My trouble is filling my day i'm a forex trader i put two trades on a day and bored rest of the the day.
So went to doctor and I am on clozopan, klonopin whatever you call it i take two in the morining with water instead of one like it says i the bottle.
I also make a cappaccino for my trip (yes im driving to mooloolaba beach) i also pack a drink foll of potassium , , and pack a penut butter sandwich both which increaze benzo
so its 4:30 and i've drunk my oh i also drink teah with passionflower before the trip to ..
so im driving along my drive i smash the passionflower with tea (increazes gamma as also a benzo, paxam is long lasting i know i have hour to kick in smash the potassiaam powerade drink, and smash a penut butter sandwich also full of gamma. To invert i also pack a strong cappacino a stimuluent to offset the sedative.
i get to the beach and i'm beach walking for hours full of energy
so i took the two paxams which suppposly work for 8 hours they really dont its more 6
if left at 4:30 am driving , get to mooloola a beach feeling great
come 6 hours 10:30 or 11:30am 6 hours i simply have to pull over lock all the doors tur musick on leave car running with air con
its a bliss high of (hough do i explain sleeping delerium ) it last half an hour you know its ove r cause you cant force yourself to sleep anymore
now remember i left at 4:40am,, 11:30am i slep in my car for half an hour it doesn't ever seem to last longer than that but coming out of it feels bliss then its just a wait till 1:30pm drive home buy alchohol at 1:30pm occupy myself for 1 hour until 2:30pm
then pop to more clozopanans at exactaly 12:30pm
I'm almost close to my mothers demandments do not drink before lunchintime its okay but i buy a 12 percent bottle of wine wait for it to freeze before i know it 12:30 has turned into 1:30pm quite quickly
and away i go smashing a 12 percent 4 dollar bottle of wine instead of two
with to paxams,
thats my story and thats how im getting buy
the benzos i know are increasing the alchohol streangth but at the same time is making me drink less
thats me its a constant struggle with me
notice i said paxam i take 2 x 2 ml in morning then 8 hours before about to drink 2 x 2mg of clozopam paxam then hit the 1 bottle of 12.5 percent champagne i find i can't go threw two bottles
then when night comes its all over can watch movie and fall aslweep at 12
and tomorrow the horror all starts again.
thats my life
My trouble is filling my day i'm a forex trader i put two trades on a day and bored rest of the the day.
So went to doctor and I am on clozopan, klonopin whatever you call it i take two in the morining with water instead of one like it says i the bottle.
I also make a cappaccino for my trip (yes im driving to mooloolaba beach) i also pack a drink foll of potassium , , and pack a penut butter sandwich both which increaze benzo
so its 4:30 and i've drunk my oh i also drink teah with passionflower before the trip to ..
so im driving along my drive i smash the passionflower with tea (increazes gamma as also a benzo, paxam is long lasting i know i have hour to kick in smash the potassiaam powerade drink, and smash a penut butter sandwich also full of gamma. To invert i also pack a strong cappacino a stimuluent to offset the sedative.
i get to the beach and i'm beach walking for hours full of energy
so i took the two paxams which suppposly work for 8 hours they really dont its more 6
if left at 4:30 am driving , get to mooloola a beach feeling great
come 6 hours 10:30 or 11:30am 6 hours i simply have to pull over lock all the doors tur musick on leave car running with air con
its a bliss high of (hough do i explain sleeping delerium ) it last half an hour you know its ove r cause you cant force yourself to sleep anymore
now remember i left at 4:40am,, 11:30am i slep in my car for half an hour it doesn't ever seem to last longer than that but coming out of it feels bliss then its just a wait till 1:30pm drive home buy alchohol at 1:30pm occupy myself for 1 hour until 2:30pm
then pop to more clozopanans at exactaly 12:30pm
I'm almost close to my mothers demandments do not drink before lunchintime its okay but i buy a 12 percent bottle of wine wait for it to freeze before i know it 12:30 has turned into 1:30pm quite quickly
and away i go smashing a 12 percent 4 dollar bottle of wine instead of two
with to paxams,
thats my story and thats how im getting buy
the benzos i know are increasing the alchohol streangth but at the same time is making me drink less
thats me its a constant struggle with me
notice i said paxam i take 2 x 2 ml in morning then 8 hours before about to drink 2 x 2mg of clozopam paxam then hit the 1 bottle of 12.5 percent champagne i find i can't go threw two bottles
then when night comes its all over can watch movie and fall aslweep at 12
and tomorrow the horror all starts again.
thats my life
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hi turned. I'm exhausted reading about your regimen and all the research that must have gone into it. I believe when you are ready to quit destroying yourself, the research and regimen can be applied to a recovery plan that will work for you. Best to you
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Turned: Is it possible that this entire scenario, this "plan" of yours, which appears to be self destructive and filled with risk, is little more than an elaborate rationalization, promoted by your AV, to continue getting a buzz, to keep doing "what you want, when you want," etc. You mention your mother and how she "permits" you to have two drinks in the morning. I doubt that you can get well until you quit being dependent on an enabler, until you decide to do it for yourself and tell your AV to go play a didgeridoo.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
P.S.I don't mean to be combative. It's just that I've "been there- done that!" For forty years. Ending in a massive relapse, possible liver damage (recovered from that, fortunately), rehab, aftercare and 28 years of sobriety since then. There is a massive weight of evidence that you appear to have a progressive, chronic and ultimately fatal illness, from which recovery is possible, but in all likelihood not the way you appear to be proceeding at the present time.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
P.P.S. Correction: I got it twisted around (no I'm not drunk -just got it twisted) Your mom says not to drink in the morning. But I gather you do. Anyway I'll be hornswoggled and hogtied if I can make out what's going on here. Like you figure you drink less if you take benzos, another addictive substance. That's good? Can't follow the logic. Like take opium, cocaine, ecstasy, etc. and you won't drink as much. Taper off drinking by taking other addictive stuff. Following this has me pixillated (see Jimmy Stewart in the Mr Deeds movie).
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