Detoxing on your own......
 

Hey there. So, I am an alcoholic. I am still drinking. I am a fairly successful professional. And havevbeen drinking for years, heavily, but not out of control, per se. Now, and for some time, it has gone beyond the bottle of wine or martinis at the end of the day. Now, I am drinking in the mornings just to be able to function because of intense anxiety.

I don't even like drinking anymore. I hate it in fact. But I need to function and without some alcohol I get so overwhelmed with anxiety I can hardly keep myself from crawling under the bed and hiding from the world.

So my dilemma is this. I simply do not have time to go out into inpatient detox/ rehab. But I read these horror stories of terrible withdrawal and seizures. Can I quit cold turkey safely on my own?

Thanks for your input.

E,
I'm glad your looking for help but no one but your doctor can advise you about detox. You should make an appointment ASAP. I will say that I own my own business and did not "have time" either. In retrospect, getting sober was by far the most important and benificial thing I ever did. Do what ever you have to to get sober. Good luck my friend.

I would see your GP asap as alcohol withdrawal can be very serious.
Good luck

Yes, do talk to your dr because detoxing from alcohol can be unpredictable and dangerous.

glad youre here.
ive heard from doctors,nurses, a pharmacist,lawyers, politicians, and quite a few other people in different professions that said stopping the lie that they dont have time for rehab, putting getting sober 1st, and going to rehab was the greatest decision they ever made.
ive also heard from professionals that didnt. they had to seek new employment and even new occupations.

It could be really dangerous for us to give out medical advice to you. One thing I can relate to though is that I too am a professional with a high profile job. The thing I came to realize in this process though is that no job or career or image is worth my life.
See your doctor for medical advice. Make sure you are completely honest ( you know how we like to minimize/justify or rationalize our use), without honesty your doc isnt going to be able to give proper diagnosis or advise proper treatment for you. Then follow direction, dont be a know it all like me :)

Thats the best advice I can think of. Welcome to SR and recovery!

getting a sobriety date is the best thing i ever did

God bless


:tyou

I seriously have a horrific schedule the next month. My thought was to try and cut back and then in mid-October go into detox, when my schedule is more manageable.

In any event, thank u so much for your responses. I cannot tell u how alone I feel right now. No one knows how bad my addiction is but me. My wife, my children, my colleagues, My friends do not know the depths of this thing. I have been very successful at my deception. And therein lies the problem. I do not get smashed, I really don't. But I am drinking just to feel "normal". And when I am "there" I stop. But within hours normalcy is gone. And it's back o the treadmill.


But, after reading your responses I feel connected to people who know what you am going through. It is a terrible feeling of knowing that every time u lift that glass it is digging the hole deeper and deeper; but digging is all u can do to get through the day.

You have to be able to reword that statement. Read that again.

E,
I was just like you. I never blacked out or did anything terrible. Went to work everyday. However I drank six to eight beers everyday, ate dinner, watched a little tv and went to bed every single day for a very very long time. It wouldn't hurt to see your doctor now and get a plan together. He or she may have alternatives that will work with your schedule. To be honest my friend I always found a reason to delay sobriety and fourteen years of my life vanished. I don't want that to happen to you. Telling my doctor and my wife was the biggest relief I have ever known. It's the first step in my opinion of being free.

Do you have time to keep drinking? And have you read some of the horror stories of those who did keep drinking?

Pretty much all of us faced the same conundrum. Couldn't keep drinking but found lots if reasons ( aka excuses ) why we couldn't stop either. It is absolutely possible to stop though, for anyone. Take detox for example....medically supervised detox can happen in a matter of days , even over a long weekend sometimes. Do you never take vacation? Or a day off here and there? You absolutely could if you wanted to.

Some doctors will even work out a detox scheduled on an outpatient basis, but you really need to talk to one first. Is it really worth the risk to find out the hard way?

If you have the time to drink you have the time to get better. If you don't have the time to get better it is unlikely you will.

Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease. If you had cancer that could be cured by an operation would you make the time? Alcoholism will kill you every bit as dead so it is no different.

Make the time and seek professional medical treatment is my advice

I was you. I bit the bullet, and realized it had to stop, or my career would stop. I don't know your circumstances, but I doubt you would be fired if you had to take a few days to detox safely.

Drinking to feel normal is an awful place to be. You can move beyond it, but you have to realize that you have to step off the treadmill.

The detox is just the first small step. Thereafter the real battle begins. To never ever drink again.

By next summer your schedual could be sitting at home with the curtains shut drinking your self to death . Your tolerance will go up as your health goes down , this is what happens every single time , no exceptions .
I hope you can work something out to get help .

Wow. Thank you. Thank all of you.

My last detox was horrible and I am beyond grateful it was medically supervised or else my kids may not have a mother on planet Earth.

Alcoholism is a serious disease.

Go to your doctor or ER!

Can I quit cold turkey safely on my own?

Who knows?

There is only one way to find out, but I don't recommend it.

Your story sounds familiar, a couple of beers in the morning to alleviate the nasty hangover became typical for me. I also was a successful professional with a ton of responsibility and people counting on me. Publically acknowledging my drinking problem by going to rehab would have been career suicide.

I got medical help with detox a couple of times (slow learner, here) by going to the local "urgent care" medical facility. I was in and out in a coupIe of hours. I was honest and told them I was trying to detox from alcohol, they checked me out, and gave me a prescription for valium which helped with the anxiety, and in my case, the shakes. Within 24 - 36 hours I felt normal.

However, the physical withdrawal is only part of it. Without changing your behavior and the mental/emotional side of things, you might find yourself drunk again in a few weeks.

For me, to get sober (and I'm coming up on 7 years) it took both AA and this website.

Welcome to SR. You may already know this, but that anxiety you feel that makes you want to crawl under the bed is exacerbated by alcohol. I hope you are able to get professional help, it makes it much easier. Your life, family and career are worth it.

Some awesome advice here. I can only add my last 'home alone' detox did not go well. Do see a Dr. - nothing is as important as good health.

Welcome Eroser :)

I would see your doctor. He/She has dealt with this before. Its a lot more routine than you know. Glad you are deciding to quit. Morning drinking is a definite sign of physical dependence. My alcoholism progressed from night to morning and night to 24/7 drinking. My last detox was so bad I thought I would die. Get through it and stay dry. You can do it.

Quitting is so much easier with medical help. I couldn't be doing this on my own. Dont worry about them judging you, they treat it like any other medical condition. There's even medication that will help get you safely through the withdrawal symptoms and even cravings. That's not necessary for everyone but for some it can help lighten the mental anguish of it all. I couldn't afford rehab but made my own home a "outpatient rehab institution" where I could be comfortable getting through the detox.

Hi and welcome! Some pretty good advice here. Sounds like maybe you're physically addicted to alcohol (though I'm no doctor.) I actually went to inpatient rehab -- best thing I ever did. But pretty much everyone did detox first before they started the program. Mine wasn't bad at all. They gave me librium for the anxiety/withdrawal. That said, I don't know what your particular situation is and people are right, you should see your GP. He/she could evaluate the situation as to whether you can safely detox at home. Good luck in your journey!

I also didn't think I had time for rehab. I was SO busy with work, being a single mother, managing my house. I had high-end clients that I didn't want to know about my alcoholism. How in the world was I going to explain a month-long absence? To my clients? My kids? I never, ever thought it was possible. I fought it for way too long.
But as others have said, there is no exception, if you are drinking just to feel normal it will only get worse- guaranteed. And the worse it gets the more you put everything you have and love at risk- your career, your family, your life.
I finally gave in and decided to go to rehab and low and behold it was totally possible. Easy? No. But possible yes and easier than I thought.
I got every unnecessary thing off my schedule. I teach/taught English lessons on the side and that was something that I found I could easily cancel for a short time even if I felt guilty about it. I explained I was having some personal difficulties (nothing more than that) and needed some time to concentrate on some personal matters for a period of time. They were disappointed but it was not the end of the world.
For my more serious work I got very serious (in my few sober moments) about lining up a fail proof plan to keep things going in my absence. I arranged for the woman who previously did my job to serve as a back up. I made sure the rehab I was going to would allow phone and computer access so that I could check in once a day on any critical issues. Note that many people do not recommend phones or computers in rehab but for me it was an essential part of my peace of mind going in, to know I could keep one finger on the pulse of my important job and keep in touch with my family and children.
I fortunately was able to go away for a month without having to explain that I would be gone to my clients. My work is such that I do not see them on a daily basis. I did send a message prior to leaving stating that I needed to go to the US on an emergency trip to handle some important personal matters but I assured them that I would be available and that everything was covered in terms of taking care of their properties and my responsibilities to them. No one asked any questions, only wished me well.
I met with the class mother of my children's classes at school as well as their teachers and gave the same lie (also some people do not recommend lying, but it was the option I felt suited my situation best) I simply said I needed to go back to the US for a bit to take care of some important personal issues and again, assured them that I would be available by text message or phone should any issues arise with the children.
I lined up care for my children through their father, who knew of my alcoholism and was supportive of my decision to seek help, as well as his extended family who all supported me.
I spoke to a child psychologist who works with my younger son and was open and honest with him about my situation and he assured me that he would delicately monitor the issue in my absence (my younger son was 6 at the time so I couldn't explain why mommy was going away).
I spoke to my children (ages 6 and 7.5 at the time) and explained that mommy was not feeling well and needed to go where doctors could help her. I assured them that I would be fine, that they could call me anytime they wanted and that they could visit me. I told them how long I would be gone and told them who would be caring for them and where they would be staying. They were worried and my older son especially kept asking "but what is wrong with you? why are you sick?" and I explained it in very simple terms. I said that I was tired and not feeling well physically and needed togo somewhere to rest where doctors could look after me. I assured them that caring for them was not what made me tired.

Every circumstance is different. You may work in an office where you do see your boss, clients, co-workers every day and need to come up with a different plan to schedule a month long absence. But it IS possible. Trust me, being able to plan and schedule this king of thing, to line up your work and go into rehab feeling like you have your bases covered is a much better option than finding yourself in the ER one day, shuffled off to rehab out of life or death necessity with no time at all to plan. And, again, trust me, that is a very real possibility if you do not attack this problem now.
One I started drinking in the morning the slope got much steeper and I started slipping so fast it made my head spin. I'll spare you the details, but it was not pretty.

Rehab is far and above the best thing I ever did for myself. it was worth every effort, overcoming every fear and losing some financial opportunities. In exchange I got my life back, I got my kids back, I am slowly getting my self worth back and my career, however humble, is better than ever.

One way to reframe this. . .If you had a life threatening disease like cancer that needed treatment, you would necessarily take of work to seek treatment right?

Well, you DO have a life threatening disease. Treat it as such. And here's the good thing. . .unlike cancer you are guaranteed to survive it if you choose to.

You have agency and choice here. Decide to make different choices than your current ones.

Welcome to the Forum ERosey!! :wave:

I worked in a high profile job. I was successful and functioning. No one was aware of my alcohol abuse - apart from my wife who occasionally complained when I got blackout drunk. I never drank in the mornings and would go several weeks without a drink. But my relationship with alcohol was not normal. Slowly, things got worse. I had a few occasions of having to drink in the morning just to be able to function. I had several moderately severe withdrawals. I had a few serious withdrawals with nausea and shaking hands. I would go a few weeks sober and then return to the same self destructive pattern. I needed and continue to need help. It helps if you can be completely honest with someone. It helps, because we have become use to a particular way of living and change is scary. It helped me when I started focusing less on myself and my professional prosperity and started feeling that I was just a small part of something bigger. Here we all are on a free web site, in different parts of the world, all of us with a destructive relationship with alcohol, trying to help each other. Why? What do we get in return? No recognition, no financial success. Just the knowledge that we may have helped someone feel or get better and a desire ourself to get better. Your health is more important than your job. I wish you all the best in dealing with this issue. Welcome to SR.