madgirl

This is a vent of sorts. If I were diabetic, perhaps my colleagues wouldn't be pressuring me to "just have a cupcake - come on, don't you like us?"

There will be prosecco today (during the DAY physically in the office) to celebrate a birthday, and I have already refused a drink in this exact scenario three times since starting this job on May 31.

Next week I'm going to Las Vegas and I am already dreading the dinners out with vendors. My AV was rebellious last night, whispering things like "God Madgirl, just have a glass of wine at dinner like a normal person and stop thinking so hard about all this alcoholism crap."

(I blacked out the last time I was in Vegas.)

I am just pissed. Not that I can't drink - I feel so much better physically - no, Im pissed that people are so incredibly insensitive about this issue, and judgemental - like it is either me being unsociable or strange because I don't drink.

RedAndy

Maddie, honestly the simple fact is they just don't get it - some do some don't and in all honesty they never will no matter how much we may want them to understand what it means to us - leave them to it and don't let them grind you down, they won't be giving it a second thought.

Look after number 1 and don't let it eat you up what they think or more likely what you think they think (I'm terribly guilty of that too) - they are not really that significant are they, just people that you work with - understand your frustration with the alcohol in the office and not something I have had to contend with, I would be out of the door in all honesty if it got too much.

Shut that AV down to - mine was whispering and then shouting similar recently but no matter what it's down to us to not pick up no matter what - so many business trips I spent in a complete mess and repeated blackouts - coming round not knowing where I'd been / what I'd done or where the hell I was.

For me though all bets were off and still are - business trips are not for me right now.

MIRecovery

Over time I Have internalized I just don't drink. What others opinions are makes no difference to me. People don't understand they never will. Thatis the way it will always be. If you have a peanut allergy you don't eat peanuts because you will die if you do same with alcohol

Treerat66

Illegitimi non carborundum

Either embarrass them into silence by asking them why they want to poison you or/and remain silent and wait for them to embarrass themselves when they are ******
Either way take care.

JD

I get it. Alcohol is just about the only drug in the world that people think something is wrong with you if you don't use it. It's all marketing and lack of awareness. You don't see that happening with opiates. But it's the way it is and we have to find healthy ways to deal with it.

skipper123

I think Andyred had it right they just don't get it. When I was younger and drink somewhat normally I thought people who didn't drink were just strange and could not understand why they didn't partake. Now I get it.

Dee74

I'm sorry madgirl.
I find it really weird nowadays how some workplaces encourage drinking.

D

RedAndy

Me too - I was always the one trying to force others to drink to or do drugs - wanting everyone to be on my wavelength - truth was not many ever were I was way past what most could relate to but pushing it on them to try and get them to see what they were missing out on - whilst they looked at me in bewilderment.

Even with family who rarely drink or absolute minimal amounts I was unable to work out why when we were celebrating anything that they didn't do it with a drink permanently in their hand and never an empty glass.

The old me would be my absolute worst nightmare of a person to meet nowadays.

Tonymblue

Some people just don't understand. Stay the course. I say break their will. Beat them down by repeatedly saying no.

GnikNus

It's very common for people who can drink normally to not know much about alcoholism. They don't understand that people with drinking problems can't leave it at "just one." My guess is that with time, they'll come to accept the fact that you don't drink.

Maudcat

Kinda surprised that there aren't more people who don't drink in your workplace.
Make a proactive strike. Bring in ginger ale or your preferred sparkling beverage and have it ready to go at the celebration. My experience has been that people bug me less about drinking if I have a beverage in hand. But..I'm 64, and a lot of my friends/colleagues/acquaintances don't drink anymore.

madgirl

I left a position at a really large company and ended up in a position in a small office - we are consultants - less than ten people in this office. Literally all of them will drink that stupid wine today, and I will be smiling and toasting with my La Croix.

Im considering approaching my boss (she will be 60 in October - this is not a millennial romper room type place) and asking her to please respect my wishes and stop asking me in front of all my co workers to drink AT WORK

madgirl

It is so crazy!!! I have a rough commute (an hour plus - Atlanta) why be encouraged to start the commute tipsy?!

madgirl

Maybe Im paranoid, but it feels manipulative - that initial buzz makes you feel a false closeness and bond - I think when it is encouraged in the workplace, in the name of "team building" that they are attempting to forge this kind of pseudo bond.

Darwinia

Just say you are allergic to alcohol. Nobody can prove otherwise and in a sense it ia true.

Gonnachange

Emphatically state that you don't drink alcohol and be done with it.

Maudcat

Some workplaces and loCations just embody a drinking culture. Weird, but there it is. My bestie now lives full time in Southern Florida. Seems like a lot of drinking goes on there as well. My opinion only. Peace.

january161992

me too!

i was in japan for 2 weeks on business in 1998 ... 6 years sober then

my experience is that the japanese culture is much more centered around drinking/ getting drunk than ours

they simply would not/ could not accept that i dont drink

january161992

classic aa would suggest that we flip that resentment into gratitude because we have a solution and they dont

Leaflet

I know that when I was drinking I used to want everyone else to drink, too. That way I wouldn't be the only one drunk or look out of place with a drink in my hand. I felt like the people who didn't drink were somehow judging me. Now that I don't drink, I understand more about it, of course.

Btw, I'm obsessed with La Croix. So good!