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-   -   Need some tips! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/39729-need-some-tips.html)

ham 10-03-2004 07:16 AM

Need some tips!
 
This is day 4 for my husband being in rehab.
He is an alcoholic.

I need some tips about how to prepare the house
for when he comes home. Like should I remove all
alcohol or not? Should I remove wine glasses etc. ?

Thanks, ham

Lorelai 10-03-2004 07:22 AM

Hi ham !
I'm glad to hear your husband's is getting help for his addiction. My husband is an alcoholic too. He's never tried to get sober so I'm not much help in deciding what to do here.

I think the important thing to remember is that you are not in charge of his sobriety. He is. If he is going to stay sober, he is going to stay sober no matter what you do.

Come on over to the "Family and Friends" forum and post a thread. Everyone in the forum is dealing with a loved one with a drinking problem and I'm sure you'll get a lot of insight.
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here.
L

ham 10-03-2004 07:55 AM

TY Lorelai!

Chy 10-03-2004 07:55 AM

Unless he asks you to, I wouldn't do anything. Let him be in charge of his recovery, and re-establishing his environment when he comes home.

lulu70 10-03-2004 08:43 AM

For me, it was important to remove most of the cues for drinking in my house. However, I needed to do it myself. It was rather theraputic. Is there a way you can ask your husband if he wants you to do this for him? I would also agree with other posters that the decision to stay sober or not is totally your husbands. There is nothing you can or can't do to change that.

Good luck!

KelKel 10-03-2004 09:28 AM

Hi Ham
I agree with the others that this is your husbands journey, I also believe that
helping to ease the struggle is a practical thing to do for someone you love.
I know that for me, when I got home from rehab there was no alcohol in the house. (at least that my husband knew of...)

For me that was a good thing, I was pretty fragile emotionally. I felt very over-stimulated by our culture... billboards advertising alcohol seemed to be around every corner, the grocery store's alcohol section was the demon itself beckoning me to partake. Heck almost all movies glorify alcohol and its wonderful effects... So it was important for my home to be a haven from the harsh realities of the moment. I still had to go through it and find all the bottles that were hidden throughout and even outside in the bushes.. :scared1:
I need to point out that at the end of that period of drinking, I was at a real bottom. Vanilla extract was not safe being in my cupboards.

The best thing you can do is talk to him about it, let him know that you are there for him and if he would like you to do that.
Everyone handles recovery differently, for me it was the first time in my life that I had ever asked another for help and it was a very humbling experience.
I had times where I would ask my husband to go with me to the grocery because I knew in my heart that I was not strong enough to handle the temptation.
I hope this helped a bit... your husband is a lucky man to have such a loving and supportive mate.

MootPoint 10-03-2004 09:41 AM

It was a big thing for me to pour out my booze and throw out the glass I drank it in myself!

I'd suggest what KelKel said....... ask him :)

Family and Friends will be able to answer your question best.

ham 10-03-2004 09:58 AM

Thanks all!

I will get to visit him next Sunday so I will just talk to
him about it at that time. For now, I will leave everything
like it is.

Thanks again,

ham


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