tate9685

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum to discuss this but here goes... I went to a meeting last night and first let me say that I have been enjoying them, ALOT. I like the fellowship and the hugs from longtime friends and I feel relaxed and comfortable in "my skin" (as I hear it put so often in AA). Anyway, last night there was a man who may or may not have been intoxicated but he was clearly upset and needed help. He revealed himself to be like me, (someone who has been in and out of the rooms), he said that his good friend had stabbed him numerous times and his friend was being charged with attempted murder, BUT if he would testify in his behalf, it could potentially be reduced to malicious wounding. He felt guilty because he said he and his good friend were drunk and that he egged his friend on and exacerbated the arguement. He admitted his responsiblity which I thought was a good step. Then, he started going off on a rant about how if he were just a good enough Christian, he could beat this disease and how he was really going to apply himself to AA's "Christian program". That didnt sit well with me, because there were some brand new people there and I felt I had to speak up and say "....Hi, my name is Tate and I am an alcholic and NOT a Christian and I dont believe this is a Christian program but one where we choose a Higher Power of our understanding. After I shared that and some other things about how we try to control others and in doing so gain resentments, etc. I felt like maybe I shouldnt have spoken up about the Christianity thing and just let it slide. No one else was saying anything, but once I did, others joined in with the same sentiment. Then I got to thinking that what really matters is that no one is turned off from it immediately like I thought his comment would provoke and mostly for me that the message is take what works and what feels good and right to your recovery and not to dwell on the rest and argue about it...finding differences etc. I think maybe I shouldnt have said that because I dont know if it was a disservice to him. Again, I am happy with the meetings and try to focus on what I can use to recover and on our common issues and struggles.

awuh1

I think you did the right thing. Better to make sure the newcomer is not misinformed about the AA program and risk being perceived as less that 100% supportive of the person who has it wrong. First impressions are very important. They can even be a matter of life and death.

MIRecovery

I think you did the right thing. It is very important that especially newcomers see AA is not associated with any religion but is associated with a higher power of our understanding

cwood3

tate, as long as you speak honestly based on what you think and feel, there is no wrong. The "honesty" thing is the foundation of why AA works for a lot of people. Being honest with ourselves and , thus, with others, is what it's all about. A lot of people don't want or can't handle brutal honesty.

I say you plow forward....good for ya!

tomsteve

im a christian and have corrected people that say aa is a christian program in meetings

Mcribb

It sure seems christian to me. Especially because most the meetings here are in churches and there is christian literature all around. The important thing is the spiritual principles. Open mind, willingness, honesty, humility, self-less.

tomsteve

not all churches are a christian denomination.
id find it hard, even being a christain, to say aa is christain when i can sit at a meeting with a catholic,jew, buddhist, athiest, baptist, muslim, quite a few that believe in God but dont follow a religion......
theres a lot of meetings in churches here,too, of varying denominations.

tells me its a spiritual program

four812

Sometimes I say things at meetings then after regret. I learned I could tell how I did by if I could feel a knot in my gut after I shared. Heck it happens, we aren't perfect! The important thing is to keep working towards honesty and being kind to and helping others. Thanks for your share. Sounds like it would be an honor to sit at a table with you.

tate9685

Thank you all for your responses. I tend to 2nd guess myself and do get that feeling in my gut sometimes after I share like oh no why did I share that. Some of it is ego because I'm focused on what others may think of me. And some of it is because I don't want to appear to "correct" anyone because I am just as sick as everyone in the rooms. I think like you have said here the goal is to be HONEST and KIND. And it's true that the newcomers impression is often that it is a Christian program. If the meeting is held in that type of church and we end with the Lords Prayer. But like others have said the meetings are not all held in Christian churches. I also go to a women's meeting at a synagogue. And the Lords prayer is optional and for me I can make it my higher power prayer/meditation., So I choose to participate in that.

tomsteve

good on ya,tate!
yer page says yer DOS is aug? cool beans!
i think many of us early on start 2nd guessing our shares. dont know how many times my pride and ego said" i should have said xxxxx....ill double dip at the end."
it got better. now i do my best to let God speak through me.
funny thing about doing it that way: ive had people approach me afterwards about something i said, yet i need them to refresh my memory on what i said.

as for correcting people with misinformation about the program.... i still do that. not calling them out, but say what the bb or aa says.
people not doing that turns a meeting into whateveryawant anonymous- a group of people at a table to "just vent" or "just need to dump."
no solutions.

tate9685

So true TomSteve! It's always good to hear solutions and give hope in a meeting. Last nights meeting the discussion of depression and medication came up. Unfortunately I didn't speak up after a few people expressed to a newcomer who was recently diagnosed with it that they did just fine without medication and that AA alleviated the depression. I wish I had said Depression is also a deadly disease and you should follow your doctors advice and take the meds AND got to AA and work on recovery. Why not both?

tomsteve

i agree,tate. although some people do just fine without meds and aa, there are
grave emotional disorders that require medication.
im glad people are able to do good mentally, with aa a d share that, but it would be nice for them to understand
some of us suffer from grave and emotional disorders
requiring medication. im on an antidepressant. have been for 10 years. i actually went off of them a couple years ago as when i got on them i was a year sober,so i wanted to see if maybe the program in action for all them years could have made a difference.
it didnt. in fact, i sunk into one of the deepest depressions i had ever experienced.

freshstart57

I think this type of misinformation borders on the criminal and needs calling out, maybe even more than the religious/spiritual question. Hope you get another chance to offer your opinion on this, Tate.

tate9685

I agree Fresh. Goodnight all.