BD84

Valerian Root, Melatonin, and Chamomile tea will help you sleep. Expect a rough night 3 and 4. Its all better from there as far as sleep goes. Good luck an congrats.

I am on day 25.

Dee74

Welcome Furze

Best advice I can give is to post here reguarly, check out what others are doing and make your own way forward. Jsbodhis plan link is great....and the Septermber support thread is here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-9.html


I always recommend people see a Dr before they start any kind of supplement.

What may have worked for one of us may not work for everyone, which is why we ask people to share what worked for them, by all means, but not to recommend things for others

Dee
Moderator
SR

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! You will find lots of support here. Spend some time reading and posting, it will help you figure out the best tools to help you in your recovery.

Wine was also my downfall, I am a little over eight months sober, and this site has been my greatest support. Join the September class by posting in that thread, it helps having people at the same point in the recovery journey as you.

The first few weeks I planned out every mo ute of the time I would normally be drinking. I exercised, read recovery books, took my kids to activities/the park, took bubble baths, posted and read lots on here, and sometimes just went to bed early.

My physical and mental health has greatly improved over the past 8 months. I have lost 41 pounds, and I am now 7 pounds away from my goal weight, drinking wine packs on lots of calories, and so does the junk I would munch on after a few glasses. I am much more focused at work and with my kids, and I have lost that foggy feeling I often felt after a few too many glassss of wine.

You can do this, and I promise it is worth it!!

❤️ Delilah

ccam1973

Welcome to the family Furze. You are no longer alone.

You've come to a great place, welcome.

furze516

Hi Guys
Thank you all again for your support . Well I managed a second night and managed to get some sleep which I was very surprised. I did feel worse almost panicking but kept my act together . What scared me more was the fact this morning I woke up again feeling rough looking terrible and my mind was telling me it is not the drink then it must be something else making you feel so rough . But I know this is not true . So booked myself for a hair do today and im going to cook tea . I went shopping and bought my bottles of lime water ready for tonight . Im not convinced im going to keep this up . I did give up for 3 weeks before I felt great looked good to and life was a bowl of cherries but then I was invited to a Party and it all went down the pan . So I guess I must just take one night at a time and avoid any contact with the stuff. Thanks again I will look for the Sept Newcomers thread as well . Best Wishes to you all x

furze516

Hi Guys
Checking in . Not a good day today feeling sick and generally unwell . I was planning on a walk but not up to it . I had few hours broken sleep . Hubby keeps asking me why I am not sleeping what is on my mind . He has seems to think I can stop like that without any affects and has no comprehension about withdrawal symptom's and how dangerous it can be just going cold turkey . So really no support from him what so ever . Oh well on wards and upwards I will keep going but today is hard but determined to stick to it . x

Elle126

Sorry to hear you're struggling furze and not receiving much support at home. I am sure loads of people on here will be able to advise you on how to cope with withdrawal symptoms. You can only do what you can do and as tough as it is, once you get through this you will be amazed at how much time and energy you will have. Sending you warm hugs. Elle❤️

furze516

Hi
Well picked hubby up from work told him I feel rough he just replied get yourself a bottle of wine if it makes you feel that ill without it !! For one second I nearly did but told him straight I do not want wine I want my life back and also thanked him for his lack of support .
So my journey continues but someone on here said the 3/4th day could be my worst . They were so right but I have my lime water might even have 2 bottles tonight and splash out . Still determined but must admit I am tempted but I am not going to give in so easily well at least I will try x

Elle126

Please don't give in furze. You can do this xxx

Ooona

Wow. That must have been hard to hear from hubby, just go and buy some wine. You know it may be that he just doesnt understand the illness/ withdrawal of alcohol. I wonder if he would be interested in learning more, if going to come sort of support group like Alanon or something might help him understand better whats happening with you?
The other thing too is that he might be kind of scared about the changes you are making. You know, change is hard even when its for the best. Alcoholism just tends to permeate every asspect of our lives and the abnormal becomes normal. My husband was my biggest enabler, he just always wants me to be happy and getting my wine for me made me happy, so he was always willing to go out and run for me at any time of the day or night. He wanted to see that smile I got when he brought in the brown bag with wine in it. When I stopped, I think he kinda felt lost. I was sick and miserable for a while, he wasnt seeing the smile and he sure didnt know how to help me or make me happy...mostly he was really scared about what his role would be in my life now. Classic codependency issues there. We also had ALOT of fun when I was drinking especially early on in our marriage. That all changed in the last couple years but I think he, like me, held onto hopes that we would start having fun together again. ( He drank with me but not to the extent that I did)

Luckily he shared with me and I would encourage you to talk openly with your husband. My husband is going to some alanon meetings and is seeing a counselor too.

Talk talk talk and then talk some more. Honest communication is key!

Dee74

How are you doing Furze?

D

furze516

Hi Guys
Well I survived another night but to be honest several times I thought I might as well go and get a bottle ,but I drank my lime water instead . Felt really rough last night and most of yesterday . I did take a sleeping tablet first time and managed some sleep . I tried talking to my hubby but I think you are right he has no understanding of what I have done to my body over the years and was happy to get me a bottle of wine to make me happy. I believe he thinks just giving it up is easy without any withdrawal's and I should be alright in a few days . I know that is not the case . I will try and talk to him again but to be honest he is not really the supportive sort . What worries me is I am now seeing him a new light and really don't like him much lately . Lets just hope it is part of the process . x Im back in work on Tuesday and im sure by then I will feel a lot more focused . Although I am tempted to take Tuesday off and go back Wednesday . The weather looks good and could do with abit of out retail therapy lunch out etc and a walk .
I had like what I call liver spots on my arms they seem to be going and the whites of my eyes are getting a lot better. All this just reinforces what I have done to myself over the years. My determination to carry on is not as strong and I know my mind is telling me that if I can give it up for a few days it is easy so have a bottle of wine and I can just stop the next day . I know this is not true . I do not want to go back to feeling rough and hoping one day soon I will feel alive again . x

Elle126

You can do this furze, just hang in tight and stay close. We are all routing for you. You deserve this. Elle👍

Mags1

Hi furze. A belated Welcome to SR.

My husband didn't and doesn't understand because he's not addicted to alcohol. He can take it or leave it.

When I decided not to drink, which happened half-heartedly for many times until it came to the crunch one day and I said I'm stopping drinking.

Then comes the recovery, learning to live without it. It takes a while for our bodies to get accustomed to not having booze tipped down our necks.

This is where 'tools' come in, you may have heard people saying. I compare tools to crossing the road. Without looking left and right for any traffic before we cross there is a risk we could get hurt. We have been taught to check the road is clear before we cross and don't think about it. It's just something we do!

It's the same for tools. Once we use them as part of our daily life, we can learn to deal with 'triggers' .

I liked fizzy water and ice-cream (not together, lol).

Elle126

Nice response mags....👍

furze516

Thanks Mags and Elle
Well another night on my lime water . I was up most of the night just could not sleep . Got up this morning and we went down to devon for the day . I feel shattered but did enjoy myself . We went to a pub for lunch wine never crossed my mined well I tell a lie I thought perhaps a glass with lunch but no I had orange juice instead . My husband rarely drinks so has no comprehension of what I am going through . We did talk and he apologised for not being supportive but explained as best he could that he is afraid I will aways be miserable without drink . That shocked me but I explained what damage I had done to my body over the years and I must not go back to it and things will be good agin without the drink . So all in all a good day . Off tomorrow and having lunch with my sister who has no idea ( or perhaps she has but never said ) although to me I think it was obvious to most people I liked my wine ie red eyes broken veins and puffy face . But perhaps that is me being paranoid . Anyway not looking forward to tonight but trying to keep busy . Thanks for listerning x

Elle126

Bless you furze you can do this and part of the programme of recovery is learning to love like and respect yourself again which will in turn make you a much happier person. Alcohol is a massive depressant and once you get through the physical and mental obsession you will be so much happier. Well done furze keep up the good work am routing for ya👏

Mags1

Furze, for the first few months of being sober I didn't know what to do!
I had always had a drink in my hand, it was so new to me not to have a glass of wine!

I turned to it for any excuse, happy, sad, bad day, wind blowing wrong way! Any excuse.

You can be an unhappy sober person, as your husband may think you will be but that's where recovery comes in. To learn to live without booze and have a life. A much better life with no crutch of booze. It takes a good 'tool box'.

This site, for me, learning people's experiences and wisdom, then some things just click and you find it fits in your tool box, a bit like crossing the road senario.

Stay with it. Sleep comes back, bloatedness goes, red face and red eyes go.

I can hold my head up and you know what Furze, it's a good feeling.

furze516

Thanks elle
I have suffered from depression for years but perhaps only now realise that the more I drunk the more depressed I got it was just a cycle that was never ending I have to break the mould .I do realise that I am going to need more help and im reading up about the 12 steps . I have not talked to my doctor I do not want it on my records and work well I would be out of a job for sure . So that is not a good idea for me . Im not sure what else I can do at the moment . I will keep reading and understanding myself more . Why I do this to myself and try and avoid triggers . Who knows anyway onwards and upwards im still going . I forgot to count the days ! I think this is day 6 . Pretty good going for me ,no infact excellent ! but plenty of room for improvement . Thanks all x

jch116

Hi furze516,

I am sorry about your parents. It is so hard to lose those we love. I lost my son a year and a half ago and I also drank to cope with the grief. I also have a husband who is a social drinker who can stop when he wants to so and who seems to feel I will be miserable without drinking. It's been the center or our social lives. Congratulations on doing so well! I see a lot of similarities in our lives. Just wanted to offer some support and wish you well. We can do this!