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How many of you would count yourselves as loners?

Old 09-05-2016, 05:46 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm an extreme introvert, some would say loner (I don't like the negative connotation). I felt pressure to not be this way when I was younger but I am very comfortable with it now. In my job I am either talking to people face to face or on the phone all the time. I enjoy a lot of solitude when I'm not at work.

It didn't cause my alcoholism but it may have made all the socializing I was making myself do in those days easier.
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Old 09-05-2016, 06:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I wouldn't count myself as a social butterfly or as a loner but during the majority of my drinking career I had no close relationships other than my wife and vodka.

As I put some sobriety behind me and found who I was minus alcohol I discovered some interesting truths. I enjoy people and am very close to a few of them. The primary reason I had no relationships is because the people that cared about me screwed up my drinking so I pushed them away. I wasn't a bar drinker so I didn't know any other alcoholics. I sure as heck didn't want to let anyone in because they might discover I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day.

The shame and guilt kept in my private hell devoid of normal friendships and human interaction. It has taken years to learn how to be a friend and have friends and to open up and be vulnerable
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Old 09-05-2016, 06:33 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I'm a loner by nature, living alone with my dogs and cats, and am quite content. With the dogs and cats, I never feel truly alone as they are excellent company.
Me too. I am married but I am a loner. Should I ever find myself alone again, I could live quite contentedly with just my critters.
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Old 09-05-2016, 06:47 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I spent most of my life terrified of being alone. As a result I made mistakes going from one relationship to the next. But now, I'm totally content being alone, and like Least, I have my sweet dogs who keep me company. Being alone has allowed me to finally get to know myself. I love my freedom, peace and quiet.
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Old 09-05-2016, 08:17 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I don't classify myself as a loner. I don't avoid human interaction nor do I actively dislike it.

I do however spend a lot of time by myself and I prefer time spent by myself than in large groups of people. I live alone and I love it. I would call myself an introvert.

I don't think I interact any more or less with other people now that I have quit drinking but the quality of my interaction with others is better now. So is the quality of time spent by myself, come to think of it!
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Old 09-05-2016, 10:03 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I was a shy introverted young person before I drank.

In the beginning alcohol helped me socialize. It was like the missing link that made me fun, funny, outgoing.

Later it turned me into an obnoxious loudmouth who embarrassed people and myself.

Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.

Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.
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Old 09-06-2016, 05:56 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I started drinking because I didn't want to be a loner - I was terrified to be alone with only myself for company, and I thought that alcohol/drugs would help me in social situations. Since I got into recovery I've found I quite like my own company now and the quiet life, but I mix with others better than I ever thought I did too D
Ditto. My experience exactly. I hated being alone, because I didn't like myself. So I drank because I thought it helped me fit in and lowered my defenses enough for me to talk to people. It made me less shy, and in the glow of alcohol, everyone seemed so nice and friendly, and I was too. But then alcohol made me hate myself - I started doing really stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous things. I was not living the life I really wanted to - I was not my true self. I had left myself behind.

Now, in recovery, I'm learning to like myself again, and I don't mind being alone so much. And when I'm with others, I can relate to them genuinely. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are REAL friends. Not drinking buddies.
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