How many of you would count yourselves as loners?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 399
I'm an extreme introvert, some would say loner (I don't like the negative connotation). I felt pressure to not be this way when I was younger but I am very comfortable with it now. In my job I am either talking to people face to face or on the phone all the time. I enjoy a lot of solitude when I'm not at work.
It didn't cause my alcoholism but it may have made all the socializing I was making myself do in those days easier.
It didn't cause my alcoholism but it may have made all the socializing I was making myself do in those days easier.
I wouldn't count myself as a social butterfly or as a loner but during the majority of my drinking career I had no close relationships other than my wife and vodka.
As I put some sobriety behind me and found who I was minus alcohol I discovered some interesting truths. I enjoy people and am very close to a few of them. The primary reason I had no relationships is because the people that cared about me screwed up my drinking so I pushed them away. I wasn't a bar drinker so I didn't know any other alcoholics. I sure as heck didn't want to let anyone in because they might discover I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day.
The shame and guilt kept in my private hell devoid of normal friendships and human interaction. It has taken years to learn how to be a friend and have friends and to open up and be vulnerable
As I put some sobriety behind me and found who I was minus alcohol I discovered some interesting truths. I enjoy people and am very close to a few of them. The primary reason I had no relationships is because the people that cared about me screwed up my drinking so I pushed them away. I wasn't a bar drinker so I didn't know any other alcoholics. I sure as heck didn't want to let anyone in because they might discover I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day.
The shame and guilt kept in my private hell devoid of normal friendships and human interaction. It has taken years to learn how to be a friend and have friends and to open up and be vulnerable
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Me too. I am married but I am a loner. Should I ever find myself alone again, I could live quite contentedly with just my critters.
I spent most of my life terrified of being alone. As a result I made mistakes going from one relationship to the next. But now, I'm totally content being alone, and like Least, I have my sweet dogs who keep me company. Being alone has allowed me to finally get to know myself. I love my freedom, peace and quiet.
I don't classify myself as a loner. I don't avoid human interaction nor do I actively dislike it.
I do however spend a lot of time by myself and I prefer time spent by myself than in large groups of people. I live alone and I love it. I would call myself an introvert.
I don't think I interact any more or less with other people now that I have quit drinking but the quality of my interaction with others is better now. So is the quality of time spent by myself, come to think of it!
I do however spend a lot of time by myself and I prefer time spent by myself than in large groups of people. I live alone and I love it. I would call myself an introvert.
I don't think I interact any more or less with other people now that I have quit drinking but the quality of my interaction with others is better now. So is the quality of time spent by myself, come to think of it!
I was a shy introverted young person before I drank.
In the beginning alcohol helped me socialize. It was like the missing link that made me fun, funny, outgoing.
Later it turned me into an obnoxious loudmouth who embarrassed people and myself.
Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.
Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.
In the beginning alcohol helped me socialize. It was like the missing link that made me fun, funny, outgoing.
Later it turned me into an obnoxious loudmouth who embarrassed people and myself.
Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.
Now that I'm sober I'm an introvert again.
I started drinking because I didn't want to be a loner - I was terrified to be alone with only myself for company, and I thought that alcohol/drugs would help me in social situations. Since I got into recovery I've found I quite like my own company now and the quiet life, but I mix with others better than I ever thought I did too D
Now, in recovery, I'm learning to like myself again, and I don't mind being alone so much. And when I'm with others, I can relate to them genuinely. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are REAL friends. Not drinking buddies.
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