csaw1112

Here recently i have thought more and more about "going away". I have lots of reasons not to, but I dont care. I hate myself, I hate my life, i hate this place, I hate everything. I hate you. Now give me a GOOD reason to stay here. I dont want to be here. Noone wants me here. My kids want nothing to do with me. All because im shy and quiet, instead of popular and outspoken like their Moms. People have misunderstood me all my life. Im losing my kids because im not fun to be around. Im going away. They dont need me.

TorontoGuy28

You are here because I care, and your experience will help others.

Comparing yourself to others is not fair to you... If you think someone else's life is better/perfect, it's because you don't know them well enough.

Dust off, there is hope and your kids need you !!

Please keep posting.

ScottFromWI

The fact that you came here to state this in itself is an indication that part of you wants to be here and get better. We can't make you stay though, you will need to make that choice. Help will always be here if you want it.

Treebeard

I'm honestly scared of facing hopelessness like this. I want so much to take that feeling away and I know I can't.

I want you to be happy. I want you not to suffer.

REsoberALITY

They need you more than you know. Over time, I have seen that in my own children beyond the hurt and disappointment I know I brought to their lives at times.

I used to think the same things you are now and that never allowed me to see how much they actually needed me. I try now to not "overthink" any of the things I'm thinking when it comes to interacting with them. Even if I just try to find subtle ways to help them understand how I'm feeling. They are your kids, they likely feel some of the ways you do and would or will in time appreciate knowing that they aren't the only ones who feel that way. Only you can do that for them.

I realize I don't know your situation. I just want you to know, I've learned more in the last year about my children and how much they need me, than I have in the last 15.

Don't give up! They need you!!

duane1

I have a tendency to not like popular and outspoken people, so we would get along well. Stay around, your opinion is helpful to all of us. We are a community of people that all have fought these demons.

Zanna

Suicide: Read This First

PS Your own signature, has great advice too

Dee74

Hi csaw

Early recovery is tough cos although we feel we've changed, others in our life may take a little longer to accept that change in us.

getting sober and staying that way really is the path to freedom tho - once people see the change in you is real and permanent they tend to come around.

It takes a little patience ad faith to see yourself through the early phase - but you're not alone.

I'm not sure what going away means in the context you've used it but there are things to read and people to call in this link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

As they say - don't leave before the miracle happens. Getting into recovery is the right road to be on.

Let us know you're ok - we care about everyone here

D

Leaflet

One good reason to stay is that you never know what is going to happen tomorrow or next week. If you go now, you might miss the day that things start to get better.