digdug

I don't post threads that often, but I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind lately.

I had the opportunity last weekend to attend an IOP session as a guest. It's been about three years since I was in that same IOP myself, so it was a bit of a surreal experience plopping myself down in a chair with several people who were counting days. Sure, I see and interact with newcomers all the time in AA, but doing group therapy with those in early recovery was an entirely different experience.

I mostly sat and listened. I shared my experience when it was warranted. The level of irritability and discontent was palpable in the room. Lots of crying going on. It certainly brought back memories of my struggles in those first few months.

So the thing that got my thinking was the counselor asked everyone to go around the room and share what they were going to do over the weekend to help their recovery. A few people said go to a meeting or call someone in recovery to talk. Most just said something like, "clean my closet" or "take a nap." The counselor noted that while those are all good activities, they have nothing to do with recovery; real recovery has to do with a shift in thinking. The urge will always be there if we don't change our thought process in relation to drugs and alcohol. She hit the nail on the head.

I've seen so many people fail because they don't engage in a plan or process that helps with this shift in thinking. It could be the steps of AA, seeing an addictions therapist, SMART recovery, AVRT, and so on. AA worked for me, but I recognize that there are many other useful options out there.

Sometimes, I feel spoiled because I can't even remember the last time I had the urge to drink or use. And this is coming from someone who literally couldn't go more than a few hours without a drink when I first got sober. But I do remember all the hard work I had to put in to get to that point. All of the uncomfortable things my sponsor asked me to do to help get me to my current state of peacefulness, patience and self-control. From an AA perspective, only the first few steps actually deal with not drinking. The remaining steps are about the transformation of thinking and action in our everyday lives.

Cleaning my closet wouldn't have got me there. Taking a nap may have staved off a craving in the moment, but it wouldn't have helped prevent the next one. It was that gradual shift in the way my brain works, the way I perceive the world and how I fit in it, that got me here. I didn't even recognize this change in thought process while it occurred, but I see it clear as day now. I'm just not the same person I was when I was in active addiction.

This weekend for my recovery, I'll be going to the men's meeting I attend every Saturday morning at 8am. I'll fellowship with others after the meeting over breakfast. I'll be calling a few newcomers just to talk. I'll be meditating like I do every day. I will focus on mindfulness, even though I'm currently under tremendous stress and pressure with work. This stuff is second nature to me at this point. I do these things not because I'm worried about relapse. I do these things because I enjoy them. Not having any urge to drink and feeling serenity in my life, even in times of stress and hardship, is merely a positive side effect at this point. It wasn't always like this. I had to really push myself to actively address the way my brain operates. But I got there eventually. I just had to be willing and open-minded enough to take the plunge.

I'll probably take a nap too.

Dee74

I worked some on SR, I played some music, I did my chores.
I lived the day

I'm tired now but it's a special kind of satisfaction to achieve something in a day - something I could never do as a drinker

Zanna

Nothing! Friday morning here in the UK and it's my usual day for getting blotto. I WAS going to go to the shop and get ice-cream and sweet things for tonight, but have decided just to not go out at all - safer and less calories that way Friday is being treated as any other day of the week, this time around. Shields UP everyone. Stay sober this weekend x

Soberwolf

The same I did yesterday & the same tomorrow I love my sober life I incorporate recovery today by coming here still reading recovery materials books websites by working gratitude i know life has never been so good even my bad days sober are better than my best day drunk for me it's perception to remember all the little things that make this all worthwhile

Flossyteacake

Checking in here.
I just got off the phone with a friend. It was good to reconnect and make plans.
I'll be creating my gratitude list later, even if I don't post it.

doggonecarl

Wise post. Hope it's read and absorbed by many a newcomer or struggling relapser.

D122y

Nice post dig.

At this point in my recovery, 16 months, I am proud and greatful to be clean.

I am ready to be free of the burden of the crave though.

It is there. It waits like a patient monster. Off an on. Like a rock in my shoe.

My AA friends here and there tell me it can all go away if I work the steps etc.

When I hear AA folks tell me that, at this point I can not relate.

I am ready to work the steps etc. The fear lies in my perception of AA folks serenity.

It doesn't seem natural to me. Alien. Especially, when they relapse. One committed suicide, during a drunken black out, after years of sobriety

I am content. I am not angry. I am a man w a brain that reacts to the world stimulus as i percieve it. I know AA offers a change of perception. Bigger picture, helping others, part of a family, etc.

I am willing to try. But, science of this booze thing should not be overlooked.

Thanks for the post sir.

Mklove

Dig, Thanks for this post. While I don't struggle with physical cravings I do find myself struggling to keep my life in healthy balance. This becomes a challenge with work but it also gives me a tangible set of projects that lead to my feeling like I made real efforts towards my goal of balancing good health, healthy relationships, productivity with home goals, and of course sobriety. All of this gets thrown off course somewhat because I am grieving the loss of my best friend, she was part of my everything. Being sober allows clear thinking and when I'm "off," it's so much easier to recognize where the imbalance is. I benefit from using the tools I've learned at this site and a few others and am grateful for everybody who developed and maintain these resources.

August252015

Interesting post, dig. Thanks for sharing. Frankly, I don't know that I'd choose to go back to any of the rehab settings I was in- I never stopped drinking except when I was on lockdown (so this is my first go round at sobriety) and still fight negative feelings about both places; I do, however, realize that I was the negative part because I absolutely refused the help being offered, however good or ineffective/bad it was from the providers side.

Today, I am doing my usual am routine first- devotional, Richard Rohr meditation, BB pgs 85-88/417, SR check in, HALT; it's Friday so I also have my standing lunch meeting.

I will work on blog ideas - my new one is themed on living a good life of recovery.

On my days off, like today, I find time to talk in person or over the phone with my sponsor; a little more time than usual.

Also on my days off, I plan concrete things to accomplish (ie pay bills in an orderly fashion) and fun - both are key to my consistent life of recovery, on all planes.

And I find the funny, the fancy, the happy. I shoot for that every day

MLD51

I will go to my Saturday morning women's meeting tomorrow, and also a speaker meeting later in the day. I will connect with my sponsor. I will take time to meditate. I will work on my second step 4. I will read here. I will make a gratitude list.

These things have become almost second nature to me - my way of being connected to my recovery and mindful of the fact that I cannot and will not stop working on myself. I also almost never want to drink anymore, but I know that, in itself, is not enough.

digdug said: From an AA perspective, only the first few steps actually deal with not drinking. The remaining steps are about the transformation of thinking and action in our everyday lives.


I believe this is the key to continued recovery and sustained sobriety. This is a journey. There is no destination. There will never be a point when I say "I have arrived. I can stop working now."

PurpleKnight

Well after a day at work I'm now checking out the threads here on SR for the evening!!

Tomorrow being Saturday morning I will be enjoying a sleep in and waking up once again clear headed, there was a period in my life that never happened, week after week, hangover after hangover, soo much wasted time.

Very fitting post Digdug, for your 1000th!!

Anna

Today, I am taking time to sit outside and enjoy the beginning of the end of summer.

Darwinia

The only thing I can do for my sobriety is to not drink. For the rest I miss my old life terribly. Tomorrow I have two social events which I am duty bound to attend because one can only say no so many times. I will not enjoy either and will make my way home at the earliest opportune moment.

kinzoku

Everything about my new life is on the foundations of sobriety. My job, which has let me rent this new apartment, the coffee I'm drinking out of the machine I bought from that job, the speakers playing music, my nice new clothes. Hell, I'd go so far as to say the girl I'm meeting tonight, the body I have now. It's all related directly or indirectly to sobriety.

It has to be.

Before alcohol was doing the driving. Now I am.

So what am I doing for my sobriety? It's kinda more what my sobriety is doing for me I guess.

digdug

I consider myself a person of science. But at least for me, it was better that I questioned how the steps worked, rather than why.

As Endgame recently posted, "Ironically enough, at least for me, getting and staying sober has had nothing to do with science, medicine, or evidence-based research. And for that I am both pleased and grateful."

This has been my experience as well. Give it a shot with an open mind and the willingness to see it through. You might be surprised at the results.

digdug

One thing that's really helped me stay sober is to not say no to opportunities to help others, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. I've taken meetings to the hospital where I almost died from alcohol. That was tough, but worth it.

I hope that by me sitting in the rehab group with others, it shows that sobriety can be achieved by almost anyone with the requisite work. I was a bottom of the barrel drunk. Lowest of the low. I was one of those "last gaspers" that the literature refers to. And I came out on the other side. I've alway said that if someone like me could do it, then everyone else has more than a fighting chance.