blink926

I have been doing better than I thought so far without alcohol. But tonight I feel like I am losing my mind. I have ZERO patience. I just vented to my 16 yr old daughter about some stuff and started crying and sobbing like an idiot. I have rarely ever done anything like that with her. It feels like I am going crazy. Like I'm about to lose it. Ugh. If I had ever felt like this in the past I would drink and it would calm me down. I can't and I WON'T do that now. I feel like I could scream. Its almost like I'm mad that I can't have alcohol. I know I can't and it pissed me off but I know I am better off without it. Is it normal to all of the sudden after 12 days to feel like I'm going insane? I figured any withdrawl symptoms would be gone by now. Especially since I really haven't had many.

Bird615

This is normal. My emotions were all over the place for quite some time. Having a recovery plan and support from others helped me get through it.

Some days, all I could do was curl up in a ball and cry with frustration, but it gradually passed and most days now are pretty calm. Ice cream helped, too.

bexxed

I'm sorry blink. I don't know what's normal or not but I know I have been there and it's human to have feelings.

Maybe take deep breaths? Go for a walk? Make a cup of tea? Get lost in a book or movie?

B

Gottalife

Restless, irritable and discontent is the lot of the real alcoholic suffering from untreated alcoholism.

My sober experiences were always miserable. I didn't seem to quite fit in the world, I was very uncomfortable which of course brought on the desire for that sense of ease and comfort that comes with taking a few drinks. Of course I could never stop at a few.

What you decribe is what I think of as the spritual malady, a lack of connection to the world around me. The only solution I found was a spritual experience, that is to say a complete psychic change, a profound change in my reaction to life. I got that through AA and the 12 steps, and have not felt that way sisnce. Haven't needed to drink either.

ValThistle

I freaked out on day 12 too! We were going out to dinner and I could not fathom doing it without booze. I posted here on the way to the resturant and within a few minutes I had a bunch of replies from people, which gave me the support I needed to get through it. And I did. I was so happy! and you will be too. Waking up with a hangover gets old. Waking up without a hangover NEVER gets old.

Caramel

Feeling suddenly tearful, weepy, with or without a reason, seems to be quite common.
It eases.

Windancer

Quitting boozing can be real hard on the emotions.
Chin up, stay strong ... it will pass
You won't always feel this crummy.

PurpleKnight

The body just needs some time to adjust, I used to go for long walks in the fresh air and listen to some music to take my mind off things.

Hang in there, keep yourself occupied and things will get better with each passing day!!

Nalanda

I remember many moons ago this old nun making a comment to an alcoholic recently quit but was fiercely pissed off about it, arms folded and frowned face....

"ah does the baby want to go get his pacifier?"

Not to make light of what your feeling, but surely the image let's us see there is a better, more constructive, more healthy.......more adult way of dealing with things...

If that's the way you've been dealing with things for years, it's normally that the wiring in your brain is going in that direction when faced with a frustrating situation........that's your old paradigm at work....

The new paradigm will take time......

Imagine that you only had three months left to live. How would you approach your relationships differently? With more patience? With sobriety?

Anna

I think it's normal to feel anger and other negative emotions when you stop drinking. At 12 days, your mind knows that it's losing the battle and that you're winning - so, it might be working overtime for a bit trying to woo you back. You're doing fine and it's not so bad to cry sometimes. It can be very healing.

REsoberALITY

I agree with everyone above and at 12 days this is very new to your brain. While you might be past the immediate withdrawal symptoms, believe me your brain is still going to talk you into grabbing that drink. It's going to do everything it can to get you to say "I can handle all this better if I just have a drink". "Two drinks... 3 drinks and I'll be fine". This is the hard part of addiction to overcome my friend.

It gets better and easier the longer you say no and let your brain heal by understanding hat you can handle and make your way through hear things without alcohol.

Stay strong.... You can do this!!

Wishing you the best tonight and lots of strength and patience.

Mick75

Blink,
I'm day 13 and I don't have any advice, but I'm thinking about you and I know it is difficult, I'm holding nothing but good thoughts for you. I just recently tried meditation, locked myself in bathroom away from wife and kids and had quiet time it helped me, give it a shot?
Mick

blink926

Thank you so much everyone. I'm feeling better now. Its good to know I'm not alone in what I am going through. I know it's going to be hard but no matter what my AV tells me, I will NOT give in.

Mick, congrats on day 13. One day ahead of me. We can keep each other in check.

Nalanda, interesting way to look at it. Thanks.

Dee74

I was certainly normal for me. It took me about 3 months all up to regain any kind of emotional constancy.

I'd walled up my feeling for so long, it was like the dam broke and I was in the midst of a flood. Things settled tho, after a time.

Hang in there - you're not crazy, or weak - and not a baby either

D

blink926

Haha. Thank you Dee. 😀

HopeandFaith1

I am on day 78 and have had some very emotional days. I am seeing an addiction psychiatrist to help me sort things out and he also recommends AA. One piece of advice I got on here was that it helps to think of yourself as a person who does not and cannot drink. You have to take that option completely off the table and refuse any thoughts of bargaining with the AV. Do not even entertain the notion. Sounds a little too easy but it helps alleviate anxiety and agitation.

I know how difficult it can be to deal with others. All I can say is hang in there because if you're open to learning, it gets better.

Nalanda

Glad you got the metaphor 😀

You got through tonight...a difficult night....no reason why you can't get through any other night.

Best of luck

D122y

Initially, I was day by day.

I was having so much anxiety....on and off all day.

It was exhausting. I would sleep in my car during breaks at work.

It got a little better every day.

Now, 16 months clean the anxiety is getting way better.

Still improving though.

The crazy thing...I still think about booze.

I remember how destroyed physically and mentally I was.

Booze is an addictive toxin.

I had to change my life w moderate personal and group exercise.

It is very important to get mental stimulus in the form of human interaction to stay clean....for me.

Without it....the AV kicks into action.

Ariesagain

I think I posted about being homicidally hysterical on day 28 or so...

It happens. I have eight months yesterday and it STILL happens sometimes. The big difference is that I can usually take a deep breath and realize that emotions do change. Failing all that, I go to bed early

We don't have very good coping mechanisms yet or much experience with riding these things out, so they feel both overwhelming and permanent. They're not.

Deep breaths. You're doing great!

bandicoot2

^^^^^Exactly what Aries said! I'm also at 8 months and emotions are still all over the place. It's living life on life's terms - without the numbing effects of alcohol. We'll figure it out someday-

Congratulations on your 12 Days and hang in there! Long walks and lots of herbal tea helped me the first few months and still do. Take care....