Sober 11 months, think girlfriend is using meth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Hawley PA
Posts: 23
Sober 11 months, think girlfriend is using meth
've been dating this girl almost 2 years. I'm 30, own my own house and live 1.5 hours from my gf. We see each other two days a week. I know she was into meth with an ex 5 years ago. Today I found a meth bullet, some straws and empty baggies with her weed stuff.
I'm sober from alcohol 11 months and used to experiment with stuff but never got into anything too heavy. I'm kind of bugging that I found a meth bullet but some other things make sense now. She is always sleeping all day when she comes up.and she's always tired, bad anxiety, always sick etc. She doesn't know I found it I'm not sure what to do...
I'm sober from alcohol 11 months and used to experiment with stuff but never got into anything too heavy. I'm kind of bugging that I found a meth bullet but some other things make sense now. She is always sleeping all day when she comes up.and she's always tired, bad anxiety, always sick etc. She doesn't know I found it I'm not sure what to do...
Have you talked with your gf about what you found? I'd bring it up with her. Is her using meth a deal breaker for you?
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Cypress
Posts: 56
I don't think that it's possible to have a strong relationship with anyone who is in active addiction. People in active addiction are obsessed with their substance, and have little room for other emotions. Addiction takes up a lot of mental space. I'm all for supporting someone who is striving for recovery, but it's important to figure out if your girlfriend is an addict or not. It's also my opinion that no one casually uses meth. It's a pretty potent substance. Great job for you being sober, though. That's wonderful!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Great job on 11 months that is wonderful. Part of creating a strong recovery is making healthy decisions even when they are difficult decisions to make. Active addicts are not capable of creating a strong lasting relationship, and since you are in recovery, it is important to surround yourself with healthy and positive people.
I would talk to her about what you have found, but before you bring it up to her I think it might help to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. When you bring it up she will either most likely lie, deny it, or try to talk her way out of it so thinking it through before you even have the conversation might be helpful- addicts can be very manipulative, sneaky, and believable when their drug of choice is threatened.
I would also take a look at the relationship in general. You see each other twice a week and whenever you see her she is sick or sleeping and now you find evidence of meth use. Is this a relationship that you feel like pursuing? If so then that is your choice, if not, please know it is completely okay to walk away from a relationship which is not positive or healthy for you.
Keep moving forward and working on yourself and your recovery.
I would talk to her about what you have found, but before you bring it up to her I think it might help to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. When you bring it up she will either most likely lie, deny it, or try to talk her way out of it so thinking it through before you even have the conversation might be helpful- addicts can be very manipulative, sneaky, and believable when their drug of choice is threatened.
I would also take a look at the relationship in general. You see each other twice a week and whenever you see her she is sick or sleeping and now you find evidence of meth use. Is this a relationship that you feel like pursuing? If so then that is your choice, if not, please know it is completely okay to walk away from a relationship which is not positive or healthy for you.
Keep moving forward and working on yourself and your recovery.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Heartfelt congrats on your sober time!
I agree ... I think it would be best if you brought this issue up with your girlfriend. And spend some time contemplating what your personal boundaries and deal breakers are. Free and open communication is key in any good relationship!
I agree ... I think it would be best if you brought this issue up with your girlfriend. And spend some time contemplating what your personal boundaries and deal breakers are. Free and open communication is key in any good relationship!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
First congrats on your sober time. Truly amazing.
I have never done meth. And thank god. I really didn't know much about it and frankly fifteen years ago if it was handed to me in the right (read: wrong) circumstance - I probably would have.
What I know about it right now is in relation to a brutal child rape and homicide in my area of the country - southwest USA. A closet meth user was complicit in watching and standing by while her own small daughter was raped and murdered by her secret meth head boyfriend and his cousin. It has rocked my community and horrified me so much.
I understand addiction or so I thought, but this level of addiction and what a high and lack of sleep does to a person was shocking. I read everything I could about meth.
We are all responsible for what we do under the influence and substances kill, as we all know here. Meth seems to me to be a particular flavor of horrendous and if anyone I knew was actively using it, I would immediately eliminate them from my life.
To be clear I'm not saying one substance is better or worse than another in order to imply that any should be used or abused. I'm raw from the part that this substance, used secretively, has played in this horrific crime here. Everyone who knew this woman is shocked and by all accounts she was a perfectly normal and healthy person prior to this crime.
Not something I would want in my life in any way.
I have never done meth. And thank god. I really didn't know much about it and frankly fifteen years ago if it was handed to me in the right (read: wrong) circumstance - I probably would have.
What I know about it right now is in relation to a brutal child rape and homicide in my area of the country - southwest USA. A closet meth user was complicit in watching and standing by while her own small daughter was raped and murdered by her secret meth head boyfriend and his cousin. It has rocked my community and horrified me so much.
I understand addiction or so I thought, but this level of addiction and what a high and lack of sleep does to a person was shocking. I read everything I could about meth.
We are all responsible for what we do under the influence and substances kill, as we all know here. Meth seems to me to be a particular flavor of horrendous and if anyone I knew was actively using it, I would immediately eliminate them from my life.
To be clear I'm not saying one substance is better or worse than another in order to imply that any should be used or abused. I'm raw from the part that this substance, used secretively, has played in this horrific crime here. Everyone who knew this woman is shocked and by all accounts she was a perfectly normal and healthy person prior to this crime.
Not something I would want in my life in any way.
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