csaw1112

I know in order to stop drinking for good., I have to figure out why it is that I drink in the first place. I think I've done a good job of eliminating most of my triggers , but for some reason I still have the urge to drink everyday after work but only then. I used to think it was because my job was stressful, but I have quit that stressful job for a less stressful one.
funny thing is, I'm happy not drinking. I don't have to drink, I don't want to drink, but yet I still do. I just don't understand why I can't figure this out.

Nonsensical

We're all different. I wanted to drink because I was addicted to alcohol. My addiction didn't need any other reason to make me want to drink.

I didn't need any reason to stop drinking other than it was ruining my life and I was sick and tired of being a slave to my addiction.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Anna

It's the obsessive-compulsive part of alcoholism and it's not logical.

My suggestion, what worked for me, was changing my routine. If right after work is a tough time, do something different - go the gym, go for coffee, take a long walk, anything that will help you get through that time. It will get easier.

Mountainmanbob

The Doctors Opinion in the AA Big Book explains it pretty well.

If one is alcoholic? It will make much sense.

M-Bob

dwtbd

I don't know if it's true that in order to quit we have to first figure out why. I think taking drinking off the table as an option , a No Matter What(happy, sad, content, stressed , sunny day at the beach ect ect) stance leaves us in a better place to figure out 'why' we may have decided to drink in the past.
The condition placed on being 'able' to (ie until we figure out x,y, or z) is just ammo for the AV. You can quit unconditionally and then answer some questions , but even if you don't find those answers, it doesn't really matter in the sense of quitting( being 'quit,' not a verb).

VikingGF

You don't have to figure out why you want to drink in order to stop, that's really just an excuse to continue drinking. Also, I found that I couldn't figure it out until I stopped, because who can think when they are actively drinking?

For me, I drank out of loneliness and boredom, and it was just the thing I did because it's what I grew up watching. Breaking the cycle for me meant changing up what I did at the end of the day because going home at the end of the day on it's own was enough to make me fall right back into the routine. There was always a plan in place for every evening, every social event and drinking was no longer part of the plan. Eventually, that became the new habit. I didn't have to have any great introspective moments about why I drank in the first place, and you don't either. Just don't drink, change up your routine and start ticking off the good things as you notice them.

So glad to have you here, stay strong on your journey.

doggonecarl

Actually, I don't think you do. I think it is possible to stop drinking and the question of " why" remain unanswered.

Quincy

Interesting. I'm still new at this and don't know exactly "why" I drank, I have ideas and am still working it out.

However, one of things that is keeping me from drinking is the "why I shouldn't drink" scenario's. They seem to be pretty black and white.

gettingsmarter

Definitely quit first. You will have a better understanding of the reasons after you get some sober time under your belt. Turns out for me that I drank because of all the damage I had done drinking.

csaw1112

I don't know, it's weird. I don't eat when I'm not hungry, I don't sleep when I'm not tired, so why in the heck do I drink when I'm not craving.?

I can't and don't really want to change my routine. I have plenty of hobbies and projects to do around the house. I don't drink out of boredom, I stay fairly busy at all times, yet I always seem to find time for alcohol.

U75

I'm in the same boat as Nonsensical. I drank because I am addicted to alcohol. It made me feel good (for a while), so I drank more, built a tolerance, then drank more, until it came close to wrecking my life. Sometimes the answer is that simple.

Turtle76

This has been an important question for me too. It really couldn't get answered though until I quit first. There was no way I could do the work that was required to figure out the answer while I was numbing myself with alcohol. There are alot if reasons I drank and I am figuring it out like peeling an onion... there are layers to my reasoning and accompying denial that I discover as I go deeper into my recovery. I am do this with the help of a therapist.

I believe the question is important to answer at some point so you can address underlying causes. Once you address the issue, you can difuse it, so to speak. I really like listening to Dr. Gabor Mate and reading his books. You can check out some of his talks on you tube. He believes addiction is related to early trauma and self soothing of pain. We are all different and drink for different reasons. In my case, the core issue happens to be trauma.

In the beginning though, it is not important why. Once you quit you will figure it out if you put the work in.

OfEpiphany

what i've learned, compared to nicotine, is that alcohol addiction is deeply ingrained into the brain, it literally has warped pathways to to suit itself in your brain, hence PAWS will continue to strike months down the road, and those episodes of paws is your brain reworking itself even though it feels super uncomfortable.

So in short, you're really addicted to alcohol, physically and mentally, even if you only drink on the weekends, and if you've been drinking for years on end, well it only makes sense that your brain pathways have been warped from its original state because of the foreign substance alcohol, and alcohol hits the brain hard every time you drink, so you can only imagine.

compared to cigs, booze literally alters your state of mind drastically. So it's way more potent of a drug. You're so addicted you don't even know it.

graciepearl

I was just trying to figure that out myself. Why do I drink something I really don't like the taste of, don't like the way it feels or how I behave. I can abstain from sugar and gluten and a host of other things but it is so hard to apply the same discipline to alcohol. As others have said trying to figure it out is pointless just have to throw it out for good.

ScottFromWI

I tried to figure out "why" I drank for years. It wasn't until I accepted that there is no answer to the question that I was finally able to quit.

Alcoholism defies logic - there is no worldly answer as to why we are the way we are. There may be a day when science actually figures out what's causing us to be alcohlic, but even then there will most likely not be a solution.

For me personally, I was looking for the "why" answer so I could fix it and control my drinking quite honestly. I attempted every conceivable form of "Moderation" thinking I'd find out what that magic "trigger" was and avoid it. But it never happened of course.

soberfate

I'm early in my sobriety but I think I understand how you feel. I don't drink daily...I only drink on weekends, but I drink every weekend and have done so the better part of 40 years. I don't even know why I drank at all because I have more fun sober, I don't have social anxiety, I get sick easy from alcohol, I'm active, and I have plenty of hobbies. One thing I don't do well sober is relax. I push and push myself constantly. The only time I relax is when I have a beer buzz. Of course that buzz comes with much too high of a cost and I don't want to pay with my life. My focus while staying 100% sober 100% of the time is to pray, breathe, and keep inner calm. I want to live a sober life and all I have to know right now is that I cannot have that 1st drink....ever.

tursiops999

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Maybe consider whether you're willing to try something different in that tricky after-work time slot? I had to make a plan for an alternate activity during the after-work cocktail hour, at least for the first few months.

In my experience, thinking about my drinking, and continuing with all my same habits and behaviors, resulted in zero changes for me. Doing the exact opposite of that made it very simple (not easy, but simple) to stop drinking.

buk1000

Exactly my experience. I used to spend a great deal of time trying to "figure out" why I drank. All it really did was take away my focus on not drinking and it was a tremendous obstacle.

Once I made a firm commitment to quit drinking I quit asking why I drank. I don't really care and it's completely irrelevant.

Bruno1979

Sounds very familiar to the situation that I was in,

I think it's just a bad habit,

It's got to be because I decided one day to stop doing it and I've had no withdrawals or anything like that,

I do feel a hell of a lot better though,

Good luck in your plans,

Bruno.

PurpleKnight

I don't think I still fully know why I drank, the umbrella of addiction was far reaching into soo many areas of life, I've documented a few and reached many conclusions, but there is probably more to figure out.

Though for me I didn't need to pin point the reasons to stop, all I needed to know was that alcohol was causing me problems, and that was all I needed to accept in order to work towards making Sobriety a reality.

You can too Csaw!!