280 Days, 40 Weeks: Top 5 Things I've Learned - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-28-2016, 08:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 36

280 Days, 40 Weeks: Top 5 Things I've Learned


Yep, it's been over 9 months now for me. And given the similarity between the duration of my sobriety and the human gestation period - I feel compelled to "give birth" to something.

So, here's my baby...

The "Top 5 Things I've Learned in 280 Days".

5. Being a drunk is hard work! Life has become much more simple for me. I no longer have the struggle of organizing my entire life around booze. No justifying my drinking. No sneaking drinks. No hiding bottles. No logistical challenges around driving, socializing, living as a drunk.

4. Healing is good. I knew I was doing some bad damage to my body with booze. I just never knew how much. In the last 9 months my body and my brain have recovered astoundingly. I feel stronger. I feel sharper. I feel brighter. When you are trapped in the alcoholic life, you have no perspective just how truly sick you are.

3. Not drinking can be "normal" too. When I was drinking, one of the most ridiculous fears I had was how I would be able to deal with life in public as a "non-drinker". What would my friends and family think of me if I didn't drink at parties, lunches, dinners or other social events? (Psst..here's a secret: No one else cares!)

2. Poison goes in. Poison comes out. While I was self-medicating with buckets of vodka, I was methodically poisoning much more than my liver. I was poisoning my mind and my soul. My most dreaded daily moment: the abrupt 4AM wake up - the self loathing was palpable. Clearly anyone who started hating himself at 4AM has got to be the MOST TOXIC of people to deal with throughout the day. I don't miss that at all.

1. It was all in my subconscious anyway. I had spent 10 years trying to use my willpower to stop drinking. I failed horribly. I failed often. I failed spectacularly. Each day I read so many posts here on SR of people trying to use their conscious willpower to conquer their subconscious demons - to no avail. I was there. I can tell you that it won't work. As long as you are doing this, you will have a spoiled little brat in your head SCREAMING for a drink. In order to succeed, you have to reprogram your subconscious first.

That's it - hope this helps someone.

Much love.
__________________
“What is to give light must endure burning.” - Viktor Frankl
Dad23 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 34 Users Say Thank You to Dad23 For This Useful Post:
Anna (08-28-2016), BeanieBaby (08-28-2016), bexxed (08-29-2016), BigShoe (08-29-2016), bigsombrero (08-28-2016), BonScottish (08-29-2016), Chanchiluv (08-28-2016), Darwinia (08-28-2016), Dee74 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), fgo (08-28-2016), fred59 (08-30-2016), gatorman (08-28-2016), Gottalife (08-29-2016), graced333 (08-28-2016), Gretel123 (08-29-2016), Healthygoals (08-29-2016), IronPhoenix (08-30-2016), ItWillBeWorthIt (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016), kk1k5x (08-29-2016), Melina (08-28-2016), mnjen (08-29-2016), newpage119 (08-28-2016), Soberwolf (08-28-2016), thomas11 (08-28-2016), TinHipsMcGee (08-28-2016), Tonymblue (08-28-2016), tursiops999 (08-28-2016), Ultramarathoner (08-29-2016), Venecia (08-28-2016), WhiskeyBent (08-28-2016), Zanna (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 08:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,787
Great post, Dad. Congratulations!

From time to time, I've mentioned to people here that getting sober and living in recovery is hard work. But it's so much harder to be an alcoholic. Your post illustrated that well.
__________________
Life began anew 8.15.13. Live in the solution.
Venecia is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
bigsombrero (08-28-2016), Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), graced333 (08-28-2016), Gretel123 (08-29-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 08:08 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
cwood3's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
AMEN........well done......well written
cwood3 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to cwood3 For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 08:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,001
Great job and great post
Tonymblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Tonymblue For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 08:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
The road goes on forever
 
MidnightRider's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,108
You Rock Dad!

Wow.. Your post sounds very familiar.

Thanks and congrats on 9 months!
MidnightRider is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MidnightRider For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 08:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
newpage119's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Congrats on 40 weeks, Dad! Fantastic post....

I remember # 3 very well, I stressed out about what people will think about me not drinking in the beginning. And you are so right....most people don't even notice, and those that notice either don't care or actually will admire your resolve... or wish that they could get up the courage to quit!
__________________
Kicked AL to the curb 11/9/2014 !
newpage119 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to newpage119 For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 09:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
Catch 22
 
Darwinia's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 327
Blog Entries: 1
Excellent post. Thank you. Helps me a lot.
Darwinia is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Darwinia For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 09:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Way to go on nine months my friend. Great post
Mattq2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mattq2 For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 09:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,187
a spectacular, accurate post. Well done sir.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), Delilah1 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 09:36 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 11,728
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post, I am about a month behind you, and sobriety has changed everything about how I approach life. Thanks for putting some of those things in words!

Congrats on nine months!
__________________
Delilah

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), graced333 (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016), Zanna (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 09:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
madgirl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
How did you reprogram your subconscious?
__________________
“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.
madgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to madgirl For This Useful Post:
bexxed (08-29-2016), Dad23 (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-28-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 10:37 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,041
Great post and well done you!
Lots there for folks to relate to, I was in from "Being a drunk is hard work"
thank you.
xx
FarToGo is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to FarToGo For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 11:14 AM   #13 (permalink)
Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol except health, happiness, and money Mary Wilson Little
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,800
Blog Entries: 4
Congratulations Dad on over 9 months sober
Soberwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 11:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
gatorman's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 30,632
Great post...congrats!!! I can relate. I think we all can.
gatorman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gatorman For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 12:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
ItWillBeWorthIt's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,412
Congratulations on 9 months!

My sentiments exactly.
__________________
The future is mine!

May


“My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there”

Charles R. Kettering

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

William Allen White
ItWillBeWorthIt is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ItWillBeWorthIt For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 12:13 PM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
WhiskeyBent's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 279
Thank you for sharing. Lots of insight.

Can you share about #5 How did you reprogram your subconscious?
WhiskeyBent is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WhiskeyBent For This Useful Post:
Dad23 (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 01:31 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 36
#1 - Reprogramming the Subconscious

Thanks all for your kind replies and support - it means a lot!

Some of you have asked how I achieved the #1 point. Here's what happened in a nutshell.

First, even when I was a drunk - I always had the belief in a stronger, more powerful, more dominant level of consciousness. It was the thing that overwhelmed me when I wanted a drink. It was the hand that poured that drink even when I knew (consciously) it was the TOTALLY wrong thing to do! It was the demon that "took over" my mind and body when I wanted to get numb and self medicate. It was my subconscious.

Second, I spent a bunch of time researching to understand just how powerful the subconscious actually was, how it worked, and how I could use it to stop drinking. It is said that we actually use less than 10% of our brains. What they mean is that we CONSCIOUSLY use less than 10% - our subconscious is actually an amazing supercomputer that is the 90%+ that controls everything from our body's temperature, to digestion, to immunity, to repair and regrowth, to our instincts, our dreams, our collective consciousnesses and so much more. There is not a computer that has yet been built than can hold a candle to the workings of the average human's subconscious brain!

Third, one day, 280 days ago - it just clicked with me. I finally realized that it was my subconscious that was the drunk. My alcoholism wasn't some tragic character flaw as society treats it. I was a drunk because a huge chunk of my brain wanted it - and it would scream like a baby until it got it! Consciously "not wanting" to drink was nowhere close to the power of my subconsciously "wanting" to get drunk. That's why I was losing so much. As long as I was denying myself (my subconscious) a drink - I was doomed.

That's when I had a "brussels sprouts moment"....

For the record - I hate brussels sprouts - I always did. And it dawned on me that I had never had a "brussels sprouts problem". I never feared going out to a social event where brussels sprouts were being served. I never calculated when the grocery store was closing so I made sure to get there to get some brussels sprouts. I never had to hide or be ashamed of my brussels sprouts consumption. I never got sick from them. I never had a fight with my wife over them. I never convinced myself to just "have a few" brussels sprouts and then woken up in a strange place after an all weekend long binge on brussels sprouts. In fact - in the last 29 years, I have never eaten one single brussels sprout!

Sounds silly - right?

What I did was put booze on the same shelf in my mind as brussels sprouts. And it worked.

At this point, drinking sits on the shelf right between brussels sprouts and ice skating (which I hate too) - and I'll never do any of them again!

Hope this helps.
__________________
“What is to give light must endure burning.” - Viktor Frankl
Dad23 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Dad23 For This Useful Post:
bigsombrero (08-28-2016), Chanchiluv (08-28-2016), FarToGo (08-29-2016), Gretel123 (08-29-2016), Healthygoals (08-29-2016), keeppushing (08-29-2016), Melina (08-28-2016), Zanna (08-28-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 01:37 PM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 
Zanna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,558
Dad23 - I honestly hope you write a book one day
Zanna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Zanna For This Useful Post:
keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 06:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 38
This was the exact thing that I needed to read right now, sat wide awake at 1am, thanks and well done.
Pieman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Pieman For This Useful Post:
keeppushing (08-29-2016)
Old 08-28-2016, 06:15 PM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 26
Thanks for your post. I can particularly relate to #2. I hated myself every, single day. It was the absolute worst!
Sharon5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:13 PM.