Hevyn

Good to meet you, Pieman. You found a great place for encouragement.

I felt the same as you when I joined SR. I couldn't believe what I'd allowed to happen to my life. I was drinking every day, all day. I finally realized that I couldn't touch a drop - I had no control & would never know where it might end. I put myself in danger many times. It was so much better to stop and get free. You can do it. It doesn't sound like it's fun or rewarding in any way - not any more. Please keep reading & posting here - we're with you.

Pieman

Day 2 here, don't feel as bad as yesterday, and feel a little clearer on my way forward. I know at some point I will have that hellish battle (usually day 3-4) where I suddenly start to argue with myself that i got this under control now and a few beers wont ruin it. But it does every single time.

TinHipsMcGee

Are there AA meetings in your area? Nothing beats face to face talk someone who knows exactly what you are talking about. This is a great place, too . . . keep coming.

Bowski

Welcome pieman. I am in that exact situation with my wife. I joined this site 3 days ago to make that change. Welcome and let's see this through together. Everyone has been fantastic with support.

Dame

This likely points to the fact that you have a heart and a conscience (yay!) Or that you knew your last drinking session wasn't the best choice, but you had trouble resisting. That's why when we DO resist we feel the accomplishment so keenly. And I bet you will feel that sense of confidence. Don't be afraid of finally feeling good - about your choices, but mostly about yourself. You deserve it.

Pieman

I am not really a face to face kinda guy, AA would not work for me I don't think. It would cause me so much stress, I already feel like I am bearing my soul here, and at least its "safe" that no one really knows me in real life here (or you might) but you cant be sure

CajunPrincess

@pieman - I used to go to AA a lot, and it helped tremendously. I'm very shy, quiet, and laidback (when sober lol)... And I didn't have to say anything in the meetings if I didn't want. Lots of people don't speak. Some of the best people I've met in life were through AA. Fantastic group of people. Sometimes just being in the same room with lots of people striving for the same goal helps so much

Soberwolf

Slowly but surely brother congrats on day 2

Pieman

10:30pm here and still sober, I know that this is not make or break day that will come in the next few days. But still 2 days in and all seems more clear. I told my dad today that on Friday I was an alcoholic, but today I am a recovering alcoholic. He said that he was just an alcoholic still, but admired the stance I was taking.

Berrybean

Have you seen Dee's thread about making a plan? It's probably worth exploring if you haven't yet...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

Pieman

Yes that would seem logical, just been thrown a curve ball, my partner has laid down a challenge she wants me to meet her at her bar job next weekend and show some restraint :s I have not given her a response because I have no idea what to say.

Dame

Wuh? HUH?!!!!
Question: is your partner very well (or at all) educated about alcoholism? Doesn't sound like it.
She may be fed up, etc., but I'm going on record here: That is not a challenge anyone should be setting for someone who is pursuing sobriety.
I would not like to think she's setting you up for failure, but that is NOT a reasonable request. Put down the drink to save yourself - that's the advice I got here, anyway.

Dee74

I would not take up that particular challenge at this point, pieman.

D

Hevyn

Restraint was impossible for me, pieman. No matter how much willpower I tried to summon up - once that first drink hit me it was over.

Berrybean

I also think that this challenge is one that it is safest not to take up.

There are even more thoughtful and romantic date-night activities that you could suggest. Maybe ask for some suggestions on here if you're stuck from people who have been in the same situation. What kind of place do you live?

Is this a long term relationship that you hope to continue indefinitely? If so, it might be worth getting her some reading material to educate her about this . There is friends and family area on this site which might be useful, but then you may prefer to keep this forum as your own thing.

Pieman

Hi all we live in the Peak District so its a very isolated and lonely place at times. I dont know how i feel about it yet, feel a bit miserable this morning day 3.

Berrybean

But the peak District is beautiful. Why not have a day walking and talking somewhere breathtaking and cook something delicious for her when you get back before snuggling and watching a film together and recovering from all the walking.

Thing is, if nothing changes, nothing will change.

Berrybean

Also worth looking up where your nearest meeting for AA is and at least give it a go. Isolating really doesn't help us As. Even if you just go and listen. You wouldn't have to say anything if you didn't want to.

Pieman

AA isnt something that I can face right now, the Peak District is indeed a beautiful part of the world. Everything in my life is positive..... just my lack of control over alcohol is not. I am taking it one day or even one hour at a time at the moment. The last time i woke up in this frame of mind i relapsed, I feel prepared for a rough day, so I have plans to keep busy!

Berrybean

Hope the plans are for some fun stuff.

And remember to take care to avoid the HALT triggers - Hunger - Anger - Loneliness - Tired. Those simple things make such a difference, at any time in sobriety, but especially early on.