Borderline
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1
Borderline
How do people come to the conclusion that they are an alcoholic or need to give up alcohol if nothing seriously horrible has ever happened to them? I feel like 95 percent of the time I can drink without anything happening. But.. The other 5 percent I've done some very strange things.. Def unlike who I truly am.. That have caused serious mental anguish. I just don't think I'm willing to give something up that I can handle more times than not.. I realize it's playing with fire. And.. Most ppl that don't have any issue wouldn't be writing this .. I come from a town that is big into wineries and breweries so it's extra crazy to think about not drinking.. Sort of the culture of my family and town. Just wondering if anyone can relate. Xx
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,776
Because that 5% has the capacity to wipe your life out, wipe the ones you love out of your life, shatter trust, make gut wrenching regret the first thing on your mind every single goddamn morning for years..years
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
Catch 22
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 327
You yourself will know when the 5% times become something you absolutely do not want any more. Perhaps not quite the simile but think of it, if you have cancer in your right toe, would you cut it off, or wait to see if it spreads?
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by E10 
I come from a town that is big into wineries and breweries so it's extra crazy to think about not drinking.. Sort of the culture of my family and town. Just wondering if anyone can relate. Xx
I 'm 3 years sober here. The other 5% of my drinking experience nearly killed me. So maybe it's not that crazy to quit, regardless of environment, even if there's a remote chance of complete self-destruction. To keep drinking is to keep rolling the dice in a fatal game that plays for keeps.
I'm proud of the fact that I'm not a drunk anymore....in a town full of drunks.
Edit: Also welcome, and kind regards
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Welcome.
Some ideas to your questions: You can't see the bad (see Treerat's suggestion). The other important thing is the opportunity cost: not what you might hurt, but what you might like or love but can never achieve.
KP
Some ideas to your questions: You can't see the bad (see Treerat's suggestion). The other important thing is the opportunity cost: not what you might hurt, but what you might like or love but can never achieve.
KP
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 270
E10 I was going to post something similar. For me, I like drinking but I have noticed over the years my tolerance has increased. Now I think nothing of having a bottle of wine or more. My story may not be extreme as others (no dui etc) but I know I have a problem with alcohol so I'm trying to stop.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Western US
Posts: 1,765
Originally Posted by Trees39
Because that 5% has the capacity to wipe your life out, wipe the ones you love out of your life, shatter trust, make gut wrenching regret the first thing on your mind every single goddamn morning for years..years
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
Years ago the weekends started out fine, an occasional incident where I would doing something stupid, but over the months and years it progressed to a point that it was rare not to have an incident and the drinking was creeping into the weekdays mostly to avoid withdraws.
Like I said I am new here so I don't have the months and years experience as many do, but I had spent the first week of sobriety reading around on this site a lot (almost every free minute). I learned a lot about alcoholism, how bad my situation really was, etc. One thing I learned is the disease is progressive.
Looking back at the last 3 years of my life I can say that is the fact in my case. Weekend drinking started out fun back then - as of 2 weeks ago it was out of control.
Thank you Trees39 for your reply. It really hit home for me because I do struggle with the concept that I may be able to drink again because I didn't drink 24/7, but you are absolutely right that even the 5% of drinking has the capacity to ruin EVERYTHING. I need to keep that thought close at heart. It's the truth, it's a fact. Thanks.
It's amazing how powerful alcohol can be even in small percentages. I'm not tough enough to win that battle. Actually, I am. I can beat alcohol as long as I don't have it inside me.
Anyway, just food for thought. Read around it can be very eye opening.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, E10.
I just don't think I'm willing to give something up that I can handle more times than not..
well then, that kinda says enough.
i wasn't willing for a long time, either.
i was willing to improve my handling ability by various methods and found i couldn't.
a most awkward spot, that!
i sat in that spot for a good long time.
later, i got willing . not to give something up but to get free.
get clear on what you're trying to accomplish, get honest on your own experience, maybe make a committment for a temporary abstinence period of, oh, six months, and see how that goes.
where you live....irrelevant to any of it.
as to your question: i came to the conclusion when years and years of efforts/attempts to control my drinking proved impossible. it was the understanding i was a drunk that got me one day
. the fact i had lost power of choice.
I just don't think I'm willing to give something up that I can handle more times than not..
well then, that kinda says enough.
i wasn't willing for a long time, either.
i was willing to improve my handling ability by various methods and found i couldn't.
a most awkward spot, that!
i sat in that spot for a good long time.
later, i got willing . not to give something up but to get free.
get clear on what you're trying to accomplish, get honest on your own experience, maybe make a committment for a temporary abstinence period of, oh, six months, and see how that goes.
where you live....irrelevant to any of it.
as to your question: i came to the conclusion when years and years of efforts/attempts to control my drinking proved impossible. it was the understanding i was a drunk that got me one day
. the fact i had lost power of choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by Trees39
Because that 5% has the capacity to wipe your life out, wipe the ones you love out of your life, shatter trust, make gut wrenching regret the first thing on your mind every single goddamn morning for years..years
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
I haven't mentioned anything about the mental anguish, horror and anxiety.
There's a reason you posted.
Wineries and breweries- total BS for me.. Not worth it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 57
Bienvenido
The 5% are RED FLAGS
Red flags usually signifies that there is "DANGER AHEAD"
what that danger will be, is uncertain (they're red flags no crystal balls)...
Could be a ditch, a dangerous bend, roadworks or an oncoming truck...
When something nasty happens to someone in a relationship, they can look back and with hindsight see that there were, in fact red flags, but they chose to ignore, perhaps blinded by love, or infatuation.
The 5% are RED FLAGS
Red flags usually signifies that there is "DANGER AHEAD"
what that danger will be, is uncertain (they're red flags no crystal balls)...
Could be a ditch, a dangerous bend, roadworks or an oncoming truck...
When something nasty happens to someone in a relationship, they can look back and with hindsight see that there were, in fact red flags, but they chose to ignore, perhaps blinded by love, or infatuation.
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