Razorback

I managed to stay off the juice for a year. But something upsetting happened a week ago and off to the liquor store I went. Guzzled vodka for six days and then started projectile vomiting. Just got the detox supplies from a doc in the box and am lying in bed trying to keep down some ginger ale. At 56 I obviously can't do this again.

I'm going to a SMART meeting tomorrow, and there is a weekdays AA near me that I like OK. And I need to have a written list for handling upsetting situations. But getting so sick is a blessing. I NEVER want to feel like that again. I downloaded some alcohol and health podcasts too.

fgo

Hi razorback glad you are here, this is a great place.

least

Welcome back! I hope this time you can stay sober for good.

Fly N Buy

I couldn't
We could

That made all the difference

For many years I was the farmer digging shallow holes all over the farm trying to dig a well. I never dug deep enough to hit water.

Once I committed to a program of recovery I found a deep well.

Ghostlight1

Well, I know how you feel. 've been there. The good news is, we never have to go there again.
Go with what works for you. I know it took me some catastrophizes to finally get a year in, so you should be proud of having a year. No one can take that away.
Welcome back to sobriety. It's a great place to be. (With no vomiting and doctors necessary.)

Razorback

Yes, I'm committed to doing that; a program. My body will NOT let me drink again. I feel awful though am able to keep a few things down. Ginger ale, watermelon popsicle and a small shake of almond milk and banana. Any immediate suggestions for food or anything else overnight would be welcome. I'm in bed and staying there.

I did a few very strange things and my behavior has been heading in an odd direction. Really losing my temper in an ugly way. Three times in my life I've done something destructive, yesterday I did a small one again. It really is a progressive disease and there's no going back. I feel dreadful.

Razorback

I thought I was vomiting blood and then remembered the watermelon pop. A bit relieved.

Dee74

Sorry for what brings you back Razorback, but I'm glad you made it...

D

Delilah1

Glad you are back!

MariahGayle

Good to have you here RB....be kind to yourself.

Soberwolf

Welcome back

Razorback

Drank some Pedialyte (hydration drink like Gatorade, for kids). That really helped.

Treerat66

Hi Razorback,
Glad you are starting to feel better.

Razorback

Day 2: little better. Threw up most of the night. No sleep. Listened to health and recovery podcasts all night. Don't think I'll vomit again now; some liquids stayed down this morning. Bathroom looks like a horror film! Ugh! Maybe I can sleep a bit now.

Darwinia

Don't forget that sober year. Great achievement. Shows you can do it. This too will pass.

Razorback

I realize how much damage drinking heavily for 40 years has done to my life, although I did manage to accomplish a lot. But listening to the recovery podcasts for hours overnight was inspiring and made me see how similar my decline has been -- and how narcissistic -- to the standard experience!

I don't love AA, and do like SMART better. But there are few SMART meetings near me and there's an AA at 6:45 am (I'm always up then, thanks booze and menopause) every weekday, within a mile. The regularity of that is going to be a great thing, and the people are about my age and very nice. It would also be a start for setting a schedule for myself. Today I'm mostly concentrating on resting -- have the right kind of food in the house, if it will just stay down, so I don't need to go out. I think going more than a mile to a meeting today would be challenging. Thanks everyone.

I had a very embarrassing altercation with a new neighbor Thursday, so I'm keeping a low profile. Really, mine was typical alcoholic behavior of over-reacting. They are challenging, as they smoke pot constantly and the smoke is overwhelming. But I chose to live in the marijuana capital of the world! What was I expecting...

Razorback

One more plus -- I lost eight pounds...which is a good thing, though not the best "diet."

skipper123

hope you feel better today!

Dame

Hi Razorback,
You've had a tough time, and your body is struggling for balance. This is NOT meant as medical advice, but after I had a withdrawal seizure I was kept in the ICU for 6 days. The first 3 days I was only given water (not hungry anyway) while electrolytes and B vitamins were administered. This is standard procedure there. Did your Dr. give you B's? Thiamin? The pediolyte sounds an excellent idea. If you aren't really that hungry, maybe forcing yourself to eat will just cause more vomiting, which dehydrates, etc. You might want to call a nurse for more specific instructions on detoxing.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Razorback

I've done this before, and I don't get any of the severe reactions, although all the barfing was not fun. He gave me an anitnausea drug (that kept coming up) and Ativan. I seem to be past that phase now. All the liquids are staying down now and I did include some bananas in an almond milk shake. I don't think I'm going to throw up again and did get a little sleep in this morning. I've got all the usual vitamins but am not trying to take them quite yet (no vitamin burps please). I'm feeling much better now. I did a supervised water fast in December, which as extreme as it sounds, gives the digestive system a little break. Mine might be asking for that. I've never had anything close to a seizure and did go to the doc. Was relieved to get a non-judgmental one. I also had my blood numbers done and showed them to him. I think I'm a textbook case, although not terrifically advanced, the numbers aren't going in the right direction. Then this morning there was an empty pint of vodka sitting on the counter from last week and the sight of THAT almost got me started again. It's safely in the trash now. The thought of drinking any alcohol is just revolting at the moment.