One more time
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Got a small challenge this afternoon. During my recent binge, I left a credit card at a nice Italian bar/restaurant. I need to get it today for something tomorrow, and I'm betting two of my friends will be there. I could always get a non-A drink and sit with them. But I think I'd best just get the card and rush off, right? At least it's a nice little walk to get up there to the beach, so that's a step in the right direction. Stopped barfing, got a second nap, cleaned up and did dishes and laundry. Alcoholics' apartments are so disgusting after a binge.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Originally Posted by Razorback 
I've done this before, and I don't get any of the severe reactions, although all the barfing was not fun. He gave me an anitnausea drug (that kept coming up) and Ativan. I seem to be past that phase now. All the liquids are staying down now and I did include some bananas in an almond milk shake. I don't think I'm going to throw up again and did get a little sleep in this morning. I've got all the usual vitamins but am not trying to take them quite yet (no vitamin burps please). I'm feeling much better now. I did a supervised water fast in December, which as extreme as it sounds, gives the digestive system a little break. Mine might be asking for that. I've never had anything close to a seizure and did go to the doc. Was relieved to get a non-judgmental one. I also had my blood numbers done and showed them to him. I think I'm a textbook case, although not terrifically advanced, the numbers aren't going in the right direction. Then this morning there was an empty pint of vodka sitting on the counter from last week and the sight of THAT almost got me started again. It's safely in the trash now. The thought of drinking any alcohol is just revolting at the moment.
Also I hope I do not alarm folks when I mention "seizure." I stupidly Cold turkeyed and misplaced my Ativan at the same time. Usually after 4 days there is little chance anyway. Please keep doing these healthy things for yourself - and posting. You are helping many people.
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Razor - I'm glad you wanted to talk about what happened. I know if I let myself slip I'd be off for an extended period - maybe forever. Much better to stay safe & not touch the stuff. It doesn't help with any problems - just makes anxiety worse. Sorry for the troubles you've been having. Good that you see what needs to be done. You can do this.
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Fortunately, the restaurant was empty! I grabbed the card and went home. I seem to have misplaced a few things last week...sigh. One thing that made me happy was that my shorts were so loose they are falling off! My doc wants me to lose 20 lbs more, so this is a nice incentive.
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Join Date: May 2009
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Glad you made it back.
At 56 , how many more times do you think your body can recover from a 6 day vodka binge?
I'm a bit older than you, and I know how bad the withdrawal would be for me. Scares the s. . t out of me.
At 56 , how many more times do you think your body can recover from a 6 day vodka binge?
I'm a bit older than you, and I know how bad the withdrawal would be for me. Scares the s. . t out of me.
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Zero. I felt absolutely horrible. And I talked to someone 10 years younger in the same position today. I know I'm screwing it up if I continue, he doesn't quite yet. I was really ill last night. I don't ever want that again. I didn't drink today, nothing in the house, I just have to do a little work (at home) for a half hour, then it's back in bed. I have a BIG work event on Monday, so I'm taking good care tomorrow.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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I totally get this – like I've said before the longest I've gone after acknowledging the issue is a little more than four months and quite frankly I'm not sure well I am sure that I have acknowledged the issue accepting it as a whole Nother story !! I also for recently have made some horrific decisions that were distractive to me and to others I meant disruptive… Gosh this is such a horrible disease isn't it? I probably have 100 stories of horrific things I've done but it is progressive I just need to wrap my head around it. I met with my doctor this week for medicine to quit. Instead of quitting which I did do for one day… Instead I have only cut back by about 75% instead. I made myself at least three dinners and I'm lying in bed too and at least I'm not *********. I wish you the absolute best of luck with sticking with it I wish someone can hand me a magic wand. By the way on a final note every time I'm so sick that I think I'm going to die after a bendor… I somehow which is fascinating – I somehow seem to forget that and start over again. Wish I could have the soul to be where all of you strong people are on this website. Every time I feel strong enough for some reason it could be the smallest reason I fail and start drinking again. It just really is awful.
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The one thing in the future I want to make sure I don't do is this. I was one of those people who picked up a soda and two mini-bottles and drank that IN THE CAR. Obviously horribly irresponsible. There is no route anywhere around here without liquor stores. What a gross, not to mention, dangerous, habit. I listened to a hypnosis last night where the guy suggested imagining a giant red STOP sign when you start thinking of drinking. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow, but I think I'll print some out and stick them on my car interior. This is one I'm worried about as it takes forever to drive anywhere in LA and liquor stores are everywhere.
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I am a musician, and have a recording session Monday -- a big solo one with a piece I just got today -- and what fun to have four people staring at you as you're blowing through a narrow tube (oboe) while nauseous. Plus I'm out of playing shape.
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Day 3: Slept about six hours last night, feel so much better; just a little fog and heartburn. Now a little anxiety and depression (and shame,) but all these podcasts I've listened to are helping me with that. Every small task, like putting clothes in the dryer, feel insurmountable, but that seems to be normal. As I couldn't eat much yesterday I lost another pound, which is actually a good thing...one positive is that I need to root around for a smaller pair of pants.
Going out for a little walk now, later talking to my old SMART Recovery leader. Taking my mountain of vitamins. Will concentrate on learning that music I am recording tomorrow. A little nervous about that, but it's mostly attitude.
There was a brief moment when I woke up at 6 am and thought "it's 6am, the liquor store's open!" (Yes, I'm one of those). Then I looked at the photo of the bathroom I took before cleaning it up yesterday and that fixed that. If I get hit by a bus (kidding) and someone looks at the pictures in my phone, they're really going to wonder.
Two of the specially helpful podcasts: 1) A YouTube channel called Think Yourself Slim, "Quit Drinking Alcohol Hypnotherapy 2) Also YouTube, Michael Sealey, "Addiction Hypnosis" or something close to that.
Going out for a little walk now, later talking to my old SMART Recovery leader. Taking my mountain of vitamins. Will concentrate on learning that music I am recording tomorrow. A little nervous about that, but it's mostly attitude.
There was a brief moment when I woke up at 6 am and thought "it's 6am, the liquor store's open!" (Yes, I'm one of those). Then I looked at the photo of the bathroom I took before cleaning it up yesterday and that fixed that. If I get hit by a bus (kidding) and someone looks at the pictures in my phone, they're really going to wonder.
Two of the specially helpful podcasts: 1) A YouTube channel called Think Yourself Slim, "Quit Drinking Alcohol Hypnotherapy 2) Also YouTube, Michael Sealey, "Addiction Hypnosis" or something close to that.
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One of the podcasts I listened to while sick emphasized having an experience rather than pouring something in your mouth. This being southern California, there are cool weekend antique car shows. I went to one in the parking lot of a nice restaurant called Killer Shrimp. Really cool cars, and they served free hot dogs at the beach! It was really fun, though I know little about cars. The restaurant manager, whom I (surprisingly) know LOL, was settling an altercation with a guy who'd already had a few at noon. That was good to see. I looked at the cool cars, got down a bit of the hot dog and now I'm home to practice my music. Not going out again. SAFE!
Rest of the day is practicing for the recording tomorrow, getting my clothing/stuff together, tidying apt, and listening to more podcasts. Eating some cooked beets but can't get much down before hiccups and heartburn. My mom was a hardcore alcoholic and quit at 70 -- she's now 95 -- but she has huge digestive problems, and they're a lot like this. She has something called GERD, which is an esophageal condition (in her case from drinking heavily til age 70) and causes her to choke, gag, and vomit if she eats anything acidic, even like tomatoes. She really plans ahead when eating in public. It's horrible. Also a few years ago her stomach ripped away from where it's supposed to be and was floating around her chest, plus she has something called foot drop, related to alcoholic malnutrition, and now she's virtually immobile. I don't want these ailments.
At least my weight is WAY down and I got to search for smaller clothes as my shorts REALLY were falling down yesterday. Got plenty of healthy food here at home. But I saw several drunk people out at noon today -- that kind of vacation area, where I live -- and that was valuable to see.
Rest of the day is practicing for the recording tomorrow, getting my clothing/stuff together, tidying apt, and listening to more podcasts. Eating some cooked beets but can't get much down before hiccups and heartburn. My mom was a hardcore alcoholic and quit at 70 -- she's now 95 -- but she has huge digestive problems, and they're a lot like this. She has something called GERD, which is an esophageal condition (in her case from drinking heavily til age 70) and causes her to choke, gag, and vomit if she eats anything acidic, even like tomatoes. She really plans ahead when eating in public. It's horrible. Also a few years ago her stomach ripped away from where it's supposed to be and was floating around her chest, plus she has something called foot drop, related to alcoholic malnutrition, and now she's virtually immobile. I don't want these ailments.
At least my weight is WAY down and I got to search for smaller clothes as my shorts REALLY were falling down yesterday. Got plenty of healthy food here at home. But I saw several drunk people out at noon today -- that kind of vacation area, where I live -- and that was valuable to see.
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It's 5:45pm and I'm already in bed! The thought of booze right now is repulsive. Still can't eat more than a tiny bit -- solid or liquid. Well, my body sure got the message across. Night night.
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Still going -- haven't gone outside much and haven't felt like a meeting yet -- but am getting stronger and able to eat a little now. My SMART facilitator gave me a new idea, that came from his Dr. This is how he quit: he signed himself up for random drug testing and set it up so that if he didn't pass, didn't call in daily, or didn't show up when summoned, a friend, relative or doctor would get a call. Apparently this test reveals alcohol up to 5 days before. Actually quite a great idea.
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