Yes, I tried to do a lot of research online. I've had had times drank a lot in the past, would drink daily for a week or more and then gone cold turkey and felt horrible for a day or two, but this time cutting back was giving me the shakes, which I never had before, so I looked it up online and was frightened by so many sites saying the withdrawals can be fatal, though did notice many of those sites were rehab clinics or selling some "miracle drug".

Happened upon this site and read stories of people successfully tapering off, but also horror stories of people have bad withdrawals. Some didn't mention how much they drank daily, for how long, or if they had other medical issues, or if they went cold turkey. Many did say it happened when they went cold turkey after years of very heavy drinking.

I should also mention we DO have a hospital about 20-30 minutes away, though they don't take my medical insurance so I think we'd either pay out of pocket or a high co-pay if I had to go there in an emergency. So I didn't feel too frightened attempting to taper off, I was determined to do it and it does seem to be working for me.

I understand why so many people say to seek medical help, I think I would suggest that to people, too, as it is the wisest choice. But I did want to share my success, as this is what is working for me, but I haven't been addicted to alcohol very long, and alcohol hasn't seemed to affect my health yet, blood counts are all great now (had very low iron a few months a ago due to endometriosis, but with iron infusions and medication, that's all under control now, and this was back when I only drank socially on weekends.)

So... I appreciate all the advice saying to seek medical help. I am managing well without it, and just wanted to share my story as I feel like it helps me feel better to put it into words and thanks to those reading it and supporting me in my journey.

Sorry if I sounded offensive in my post in the other thread last night. I was very sleepy and feeling extremely freaked out after being bitten by a spider, and that would in the past probably make me swig half a bottle to calm down but I was really fighting the urge to get into my husband's bourbon ( and I didn't.)

But my point was your post above to me made me feel ashamed of my addiction rather than supported that I could overcome it. I had read so many posts in the forums from people posting very positive thoughts and wishes so I felt brave enough to post my story, and yours was the first reply and it made me feel ashamed of myself because it was so blunt.

So last night your post in the other thread telling someone you didn't bother reading his other posts and he was lying to himself also seemed like blunt advice and appeared harsh to me, which is why I replied.

Again, I apologize if I came off as rude, I didn't find your post offensive enough to report it, nor will I block you. It was me over-reacting to being in a situation where I really felt the need to drink and was having a hard time fighting it, and was looking for comfort and support rather than harsh truth.

Hope you accept my apology, I'm just here to make friends. :grouphug:

its all good here,katzen.

Katz - I hope you were able to get some sleep after the spider incident.

Husband searched for it for 5 minutes, had to get sleep for work, shook off the sheets and went back to sleep. I was terrified to be in there, shut the door and put a towel under it, and ended up sleeping on the sofa, still frightened it might already be wandering around the house.

Husband left the bedroom door open this morning, so high chances it's wandering around. I'm very freaked out now, am fighting the very strong urge to drink right now. Haven't had anything today, but really want to drive to the liquor store for "just one more bottle". But it's a mental urge, which I am determined to fight.

I can do this, and reading other people's success stories on here is really helping inspire me. I'm trying to focus on what a good life I have, I'm avoiding watching the tv news or reading online anything negative going on in the world, and focusing on the fact that there are great, kind people out there, and only on positive things in life.

Great big thanks to all the wonderful, kind people in these forums that are helping and supporting total strangers. Hugs to you all. :grouphug: