60 days... and promptly nosedived off that flimsy branch of perfection into poo
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Madruski 
Don't worry, your far enough into sobriety to not worry about two beers. Just assess the trigger, and next time don't keep old beer in the fridge, too easy of temptation.
Sh*t happens, be realistic about it and don't worry about the day count. As long as your feeling healthy.
Besides, in another 60 days you can make a thread "120 days!!" And iam sure no one here will remember these two beers��
Sh*t happens, be realistic about it and don't worry about the day count. As long as your feeling healthy.
Besides, in another 60 days you can make a thread "120 days!!" And iam sure no one here will remember these two beers��
I'm with EndGame here. I could not disagree more with this (other than don't keep the beer around) - yes, it was a small amount, but it was drinking. Our "sh*t happens" attitudes can justify relapse(s) - which, to be frank, this was, my friend- and that is simply not acceptable thinking for someone who is in recovery. We may not remember the beers, but YOU will. We are irrelevant, in this regard.
Questions:
Why does your husband keep alcohol around- and you accept this? I understand this may be an issue, but on the surface this seems unhelpful at best, undermining (or worse), at worst.
Plan to keep having it around? If so, again, why?
What's your plan moving forward?
You got 60 days, so you know you can get started. Sounds like a perfect time for AA, and other support. Us "hard core" folks will say things like "play the tape through" (see where it got you this time? no fun, clearly), and you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, have diversions/tools on hand for the crappy stuff (ie, problems at work in this case) and the good, and the .... normal stuff of life. If you believe in triggers for drinking (I don't- I believe in emotional things that can shake my emotional not physical peace and chosen path of emotional sobriety - note the repeated use of the word "emotional"), you must have coping mechanisms besides drinking.
Truths, all.
Good luck. You CAN get and stay sober. Gotta do the stuff to make it your new reality.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
I couldn't agree with August more. Relapses are not good if recovery is our true plan. TRUE plan. The only way a plan can be TRUE is if we are honest with ourselves. I mean utterly honest. Read the first three Steps of AA. It's all right there. Don't get me wrong, being honest with one's self can be very brutal, but it has to occur, at least in my opinion.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
"Why does your husband keep alcohol around- and you accept this? I understand this may be an issue, but on the surface this seems unhelpful at best, undermining (or worse), at worst."
This is not within her power to control, and worst case scenario, her AV can use this to justify continued drinking. I know this because I lived this for YEARS.
This is not within her power to control, and worst case scenario, her AV can use this to justify continued drinking. I know this because I lived this for YEARS.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. -George Santayana
The aim here, in my opinion, is support as the OP defines it. Sometimes people want what, as August describes, "hard core" folks provide: play the tape through! What's your plan? Go to an AA meeting.
Sometimes people are just looking for compassion and empathy. To be able to connect, own up and keep going in what they consider a supportive environment.
Lightning Bug: I think you did great. I think that making mistakes is what life is about. I think you did great starting with self-compassion, I think that your victory in stopping is far greater than your defeat in starting, and I hope that you do find your way to your goals, no matter how hard the journey.
Best of luck,
KP
The aim here, in my opinion, is support as the OP defines it. Sometimes people want what, as August describes, "hard core" folks provide: play the tape through! What's your plan? Go to an AA meeting.
Sometimes people are just looking for compassion and empathy. To be able to connect, own up and keep going in what they consider a supportive environment.
Lightning Bug: I think you did great. I think that making mistakes is what life is about. I think you did great starting with self-compassion, I think that your victory in stopping is far greater than your defeat in starting, and I hope that you do find your way to your goals, no matter how hard the journey.
Best of luck,
KP
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by August252015
Yeahhhhhh. No.
I'm with EndGame here. I could not disagree more with this (other than don't keep the beer around) - yes, it was a small amount, but it was drinking. Our "sh*t happens" attitudes can justify relapse(s) - which, to be frank, this was, my friend- and that is simply not acceptable thinking for someone who is in recovery. We may not remember the beers, but YOU will. We are irrelevant, in this regard.
Good luck. You CAN get and stay sober. Gotta do the stuff to make it your new reality.
I'm with EndGame here. I could not disagree more with this (other than don't keep the beer around) - yes, it was a small amount, but it was drinking. Our "sh*t happens" attitudes can justify relapse(s) - which, to be frank, this was, my friend- and that is simply not acceptable thinking for someone who is in recovery. We may not remember the beers, but YOU will. We are irrelevant, in this regard.
Good luck. You CAN get and stay sober. Gotta do the stuff to make it your new reality.
At the end of the day , it's only two beers after 60 days. Since 60 days is already an amazing achievment the fall from grace should not be made to feel that huge. And yes sh*t does happen, but i should rephrase it to "mistakes" .
Where would we be if we dont learn from our mistakes? I think you did AND ARE DOING great and i would love to be at 60 days with only two beers as wounds.
Just continue on and try not think about it.
Btw I was just replying to the title, so i thought I'd match it, where is the crime in that?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Im sure you meant well, and I understand what you are saying - but for me, my own addictive voice whispers that kind of s--t all the time and if I listened to it, I'd be sneaking a glass of wine tonight in my freaking walk in closet (five plus months - you're doin fine - no one will know - lighten up! Etc)
This is serious, life threatening stuff we are coming to this board with, and some of those "hard core" people who give it to me straight have my well being in mind.
This is serious, life threatening stuff we are coming to this board with, and some of those "hard core" people who give it to me straight have my well being in mind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by madgirl
Im sure you meant well, and I understand what you are saying - but for me, my own addictive voice whispers that kind of s--t all the time and if I listened to it, I'd be sneaking a glass of wine tonight in my freaking walk in closet (five plus months - you're doin fine - no one will know - lighten up! Etc)
This is serious, life threatening stuff we are coming to this board with, and some of those "hard core" people who give it to me straight have my well being in mind.
This is serious, life threatening stuff we are coming to this board with, and some of those "hard core" people who give it to me straight have my well being in mind.
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