Darwinia

No surprises here.....stress.

We all know this. Whether the stress is emotional, financial, work related or just life, it is a killer. It kills sober people and it hangs like the sword of Damoclese ready to rip open any alcoholic's sobriety shield.

I had a difficult day at work. High octane pressure with major decisions and potentially significant consequences.

I was desperate for a drink when I got home. I am still desperate. I know it will not change anything but boy oh boy it will let me wind down.

I did not drink and I will not. I do not want to post here as a day one again.

I do miss it though. No denying that. I miss it so much. The comfort and reward after a day in the trenches of life.

Madruski

Yeah I miss it like crazy as well. And not drinking after work will be my upcoming challenge. At the moment the challenge is Friday and the feeling that everyone is drinking atm (even right infront of Me)

But that "reward" after work is like a deep trench. Sure it might be "ok" in there, but outside the trench sure is better.

doggonecarl

Alcohol as comfort and reward is an illusion. The comfort and rewards of alcohol didn't bring you to SR, didn't drive you to seek sobriety. If you are like me, it was misery.

MLD51

Way back when I was a more normal drinker, A drink or two after work was a nice little reward. I could do that then - just one or two, a couple of times a week. So later, after my drinking had progressed and only one or two was not only highly unlikely, but pretty much impossible, my alcoholic voice was still telling me one or two after work was a perfectly ok thing to do - because, you know, HAPPY HOUR! Oh, but what a lie. Happy hour always turned into a whole wasted evening and a really crappy next day full of regrets and pain. It took a while for me to figure out that the "stress relief" of a drink or two (or three, four, five) after work was really causing more of my stress than anything else in my life was.

Stress relief looks different to me now. A walk. sitting on my deck watching the sunset. A warm bath. A good book. A bit of meditation. Anything but liquor. and way more effective.

Nonsensical

You won the lottery and you are mourning the loss of the $1 it cost to buy the ticket.

Don't spend too much time looking in the rearview mirror. That's not the direction you're going.

Congrats on another sober day!

fini

I do miss it though. No denying that. I miss it so much. The comfort and reward after a day in the trenches of life.

what happens if you reframe that? you miss comfort and reward. you don't know what to do to get comfort. or fill your "need" for reward.

looking beyond what seemed a "miss/need drink!!!" to what was really missing and needed was hugely helpful to me.
the drink was irrelevant; the widening of the lens to see what i really needed allows for investigating ways to get the real need met.
if there is one.

Darwinia

Thank you nonsensical. You made a great deal of sense there

Austin4Wyo

I miss it like I miss playing baseball in my youth. I did it. I can no longer do it.

This is where I need to consciously adjust where my thoughts are headed, amd exercise a personal choice to not use any mental energy on "missing" the fleeting euphoria. We talk about changing our thinking. Here's a perfect time to DO IT instead of talking about it.

Play the tape through, and step out of the bad juju. I've been drunk and sober, and life is immeasurably better on this side of the wire.

Darwinia

I like that Austin. Yes, the boozing was fun, until it was no more. And I know that I am going to feel well tomorrow. I can look back tomorrow on today and know that I did not fail. Good playing that tape in a positive direction too.

tomsteve

i found meditation to be a GREAT way to wind down and removd crap from my melon that is useless.
better results than a drink,too.
also no negative consequences.

advbike

I found the stress was within me. Self generated. From my ego telling stories about every little thing, turning it into a crisis. And the adrenaline rush from fighting the fire. It still wants to do that but I recognize it now.

Be grateful for all that you have, do the best you can, then let the rest go. Take a walk in nature. Sit and be still. It's hard, I know, but we can learn to do it.

Dee74

I've pulled together a few links to try and help on this topic

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

D

teatreeoil007

Yeah, it seems stress will hit you no matter what it is related to; family in crisis....drama....yikes....I hear ya! Sorry about your tough day, but good job on not drinking over it... If it's not one thing it's another....I just got done with a lengthy session with my daughter....she's feeling really emotional right now and frustrated with where she is at in life...she's got all these expectations of herself, therefore assumes others have those same expectations she has of herself and they simply DON'T. I cannot seem to get her to see that and to somehow put all the "I should's" in their place! *sigh*. Oh, but life is grand, is it not?

Venecia

A couple thoughts:

1. We'll always face stressful things. Everyone does. Choosing sobriety also means choosing different ways to deal with stress. No one is "required" to drink because of stress. We have a choice in the matter.

2. Stress is the natural outgrowth of difficulties, difficulties that range from minor to the truly painful. The common thread among them is that drinking will dependably make them worse. Always.

Gottalife

I get stressed from time to time, much less than I used to, but it is part of life. Much of it is internally generated based in fears I won't get my own way or something will happen that I don't want to happen.

Meditation is a good solution, by which I mean listening to God for direction. I know I am on safe ground there.

I long ago realised that that good feeling that came with the first few drinks is gone for good as far as I am cncerned. I spent enough time looking for it to know it is a delusion.

The reality of a drink is terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair. I don't see how that will help.